Jimmy Rollins Hates You
Or at least thinks that you are a frontrunner, whatever the sam heck that means. By saying this on The Best Damn Sports Show on TV That You'll Ever See and You're Lucky You Get To See It So Shut Up and Listen, he apparently enraged a majority of Phillies fans. Honestly, when you start taking yourself seriously as a "fan", it is time for you to step back and re-prioritize what is important in your life. Who gives a shit what Jimmy Rollins thinks about the fans? He has a right to his opinion just like I have a right to my opinion that Rollins had a career year in '07 and will most likely never put up those numbers again. If this comment really has you hot and bothered, put the phone down, turn your radio off, and pick up a book. Not a magazine, but a book. Open it up and read it. You will thank me later.
Andre Igoudala Is 8% Closer to Being a Billionaire
The Sixers have opened the bank this offseason, giving out almost $200 Million in contracts. Hopefully this professional basketball league thing takes off so they can afford to pay these guys. Is it a lot of scratch for Iguodala? Yes and the Sixers most likely overpaid, especially since they were bidding against themselves. But in the end, it most likely won't matter if they are paying him $60 million or $80 million for the next six years because they are going to be over the salary cap anyways with Brand, Dalembert, Williams, and TYoung. That is your Sixers core for the next five years and hopefully Speights as well. Hoo rah Ed Stefanski. Hoo rah indeed.
The Sixers Will Play One Final Game At the Spectrum
And if you get a ticket before I do, I will punch you in the foot. I must go to this game.
It's Not Always Sunny in Philadelphia
I turned on FOX last night at like 7:45 Lucky People Time, expecting to see exciting Eagles/Panthers action, but to my chagring fourth graders were answering trivia questiong. I guess Lightning is a Jeff Foxworth fan (and who can blame him). Once they started playing, I didn't really pay much attention because most of the good players were just doing their best not to get hurt. I do still hate Joe Buck, though.
Showing posts with label Eagles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Eagles. Show all posts
Friday, August 15, 2008
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Stuff about things
Regarding Kyle Kendrick BS- as usual, we were right and everyone else on this big blue marble we call earth was completely and utterly wrong.
Other Phillies garbage- Ryan Howard went 0-5 last night in the Phillies 8-6 loss. Everyone thought a month ago that Howard had returned to his normal form, but his numbers since then have been pretty nonformical- 24 games, .242/.308/.389, with just 4 HR and 2 doubles. And those awful errors. At least Utley seems to be putting himself back in MVP contention.
Eagles crap- good job by the Birds on making Brian Westbrook a happy camper (GET IT?) without mortgaging the team's future financial flexibility. Even though the deal looks a little long at first glance, its structure makes it easier to part with Westbrook should he prove to be like 80% of other NFL running backs and becomes ineffective as a runner by age 31.
Olympics hoohah- UPDATE- Beating Angola by 21 points is wholly unimpressive. The US men's team is now just 12 for 45 from 3-point range in 2 games. They needed better outside shooting and defense than 2004 and it looks like they didn't do a good job of getting it. China and Angola were their two easiest games.
India won its first ever gold medal yesterday in Men's shooting, which unbelievably is not dominated by the US. Maybe if the targets were human we'd do better. Anyway, there are 1 billion people in India, and this is the first time any one of them has been the best in the world at any Olympic sport. Get out of the call centers and onto the practice fields and into the pools, India. Your country needs you.
Michael Phelps' training includes eating 8,000-10,000 calories per day. The only downside is he has to swim a lot.
Best discovery of the Olympics so far- this hot Chinese beach volleyball player, Xue Chen-
Other Phillies garbage- Ryan Howard went 0-5 last night in the Phillies 8-6 loss. Everyone thought a month ago that Howard had returned to his normal form, but his numbers since then have been pretty nonformical- 24 games, .242/.308/.389, with just 4 HR and 2 doubles. And those awful errors. At least Utley seems to be putting himself back in MVP contention.
Eagles crap- good job by the Birds on making Brian Westbrook a happy camper (GET IT?) without mortgaging the team's future financial flexibility. Even though the deal looks a little long at first glance, its structure makes it easier to part with Westbrook should he prove to be like 80% of other NFL running backs and becomes ineffective as a runner by age 31.
Olympics hoohah- UPDATE- Beating Angola by 21 points is wholly unimpressive. The US men's team is now just 12 for 45 from 3-point range in 2 games. They needed better outside shooting and defense than 2004 and it looks like they didn't do a good job of getting it. China and Angola were their two easiest games.
India won its first ever gold medal yesterday in Men's shooting, which unbelievably is not dominated by the US. Maybe if the targets were human we'd do better. Anyway, there are 1 billion people in India, and this is the first time any one of them has been the best in the world at any Olympic sport. Get out of the call centers and onto the practice fields and into the pools, India. Your country needs you.
Michael Phelps' training includes eating 8,000-10,000 calories per day. The only downside is he has to swim a lot.
Best discovery of the Olympics so far- this hot Chinese beach volleyball player, Xue Chen-
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Lifespans of the Rich and Famous- Running Back Career Edition
NFL contract details are a bit much to digest. There's all this talk of guaranteed money, salary caps, paternity suit allowances, performance bonii, etc. But when Brian Westbrook, the soon to be 29 year old Pro Bowl, All-Pro, All-American, Al-Jazeera star of the Eagles' backfield, and his new agent Scrooge McDuck decide they want $30 million in guaranteed money in a 5 year deal, it's easy to see that this is not rational or sensical.
Westbrook is indeed the key to the Eagles offense. He is to it as Cole Hamels+Brad Lidge+Chase Utley (aka Cobrase Utlidels) is to the Phillies. He's that damn good. According to Football Outsiders, he was the second most valuable RB in the NFL last year, just a smidgen behind LaDanian Tomlinson. He ranked a very strong seventh in 2006. And yet within 3 years (at most), chances are he'll be washed up.
Such is life as an NFL running back. According to super-scientific research done by those same Football Outsiders and others, no other position on the field suffers as much from age and injuries. By age 30, most running backs, even the ones who still have their original knees, are running full speed into the imminent retirement wall, which has a nice mural of Marshall Faulk, Earl Campbell, Terrell Davis, and Roger Craig playing shuffleboard painted on it. Westbrook turns 29 on September 4th. Odds are that by Sept. 4, 2010 he'll be on his way out of the NFL.
Obviously he can avoid this probability. Fred Taylor seems to have gotten over his early career injury problems and is better than ever at age 32. Curtis Martin played well until age 78. Emmitt Smith was only mildly embarrassing as a player after 30, and nowhere near as embarrassing as he is as a commentator. He should get public speaking lessons from his step-daughter's bio-dad, Martin Lawrence. Outrageous things he would say! Anyway, the peculiar thing about probability is that when things are probable, they probably happen. And there is a probable probability that he's only got 2 or maybe 3 good seasons left. Certainly not 5.
There are things working to Westbrook's advantage. He was underused as a runner for the first 4 years of his career, so he doesn't have the mileage of several of the 30 year old washouts. Also he now wears a gypsy shrunken head charm that protects his knees. It's worked pretty well the past 2 years.
Westbrook does deserve a big pay check for the next 2 years. Anything longer and there's a good chance (yes, it is a chance, not a certainty) it will cripple the team after he breaks down. As a business, they always should pay for the performance they're expecting, not just the performance they've gotten. Perhaps they could compromise and offer something like 3 years, $20 million guaranteed. That seems like a fair deal (to me anyway, since I only make $5 million a year and know how hard it is), and would not only make him extremely highly paid for his position but would also prevent the Eagles from over-investing in Westbrook; not neccessarily in money, but in time.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Eagles Post-Draft Analysis
Why bother with traditional analysis? As has been done since time immemorial, here are the BSB 92.3% accurate predictions for the newest Eagles'-
Trevor Laws- will be in the starting DT rotation this year. Will have a solid, but unspectacular, career of about 10 seasons. Will die in 2049 of a massive heart attack brought on by over consumption of Neat, a future near-meat food substance.
DeSean Jackson- will be returning kicks from day 1. Will be a decent No. 3 WR by day 1,671, hopefully. Dies in 2087 as a result of 'Bot Rot when his artificially intelligent robotic replacement wrist becomes deranged and forces DeSean to choke himself to death.
Bryan Smith- spends 2 years buried on the DE depth chart, gets 2 career sacks. Dies in 2010 of loneliness. And DragonAIDS (coming August 2010).
Michael McGlynn- starting RG in 2 years, as Shawn Andrews will be at RT by then. Lasts 8 years in the NFL. Dies in 2039 in the Bottled Water Wars.
Quintin Demps- career special teamer and backup safety, but a decent one. Bounces around the NFL for 9 seasons. Dies in 2056 by the hand of his Sexbot, which suffers an S&M chip failure in its safe word matrix.
Jack Ikegwuonu- never plays a down. Ends up in the Arena League. Shot dead in 2018 attempting a home invasion to steal an XBox360, not realizing he totally could have gotten a newer, more powerful XBox660 from the unarmed fella next door.
Michael Gibson- bounces around the league for a few years as a 3rd/4th Guard. Strangely, he is IMMORTAL.
Joe Mays- never plays a down. Come on, he's an ILB and runs a 4.9 40. Dies in 2029 when he tries to run and is so impossibly slow he violates the laws of physics and causes a time-space paradox to occur which blinks him out of existence.
Andrew Studebaker- adds a few pounds, keeps his speed, becomes a decent situational pass rusher. Has a good career cut short by his untimely death in 2013 due to the Hot Pockets Fever epidemic.
King Dunlap- Despite his wonderful Wonderlic score and what surely must be a massive penis, he doesn't even make the team. Dies peacefully in 2040 at home in his giant bed, calling out for Rosebud, a strain of marijuana which unfortunately in 2040 is extinct.
Trevor Laws- will be in the starting DT rotation this year. Will have a solid, but unspectacular, career of about 10 seasons. Will die in 2049 of a massive heart attack brought on by over consumption of Neat, a future near-meat food substance.
DeSean Jackson- will be returning kicks from day 1. Will be a decent No. 3 WR by day 1,671, hopefully. Dies in 2087 as a result of 'Bot Rot when his artificially intelligent robotic replacement wrist becomes deranged and forces DeSean to choke himself to death.
Bryan Smith- spends 2 years buried on the DE depth chart, gets 2 career sacks. Dies in 2010 of loneliness. And DragonAIDS (coming August 2010).
Michael McGlynn- starting RG in 2 years, as Shawn Andrews will be at RT by then. Lasts 8 years in the NFL. Dies in 2039 in the Bottled Water Wars.
Quintin Demps- career special teamer and backup safety, but a decent one. Bounces around the NFL for 9 seasons. Dies in 2056 by the hand of his Sexbot, which suffers an S&M chip failure in its safe word matrix.
Jack Ikegwuonu- never plays a down. Ends up in the Arena League. Shot dead in 2018 attempting a home invasion to steal an XBox360, not realizing he totally could have gotten a newer, more powerful XBox660 from the unarmed fella next door.
Michael Gibson- bounces around the league for a few years as a 3rd/4th Guard. Strangely, he is IMMORTAL.
Joe Mays- never plays a down. Come on, he's an ILB and runs a 4.9 40. Dies in 2029 when he tries to run and is so impossibly slow he violates the laws of physics and causes a time-space paradox to occur which blinks him out of existence.
Andrew Studebaker- adds a few pounds, keeps his speed, becomes a decent situational pass rusher. Has a good career cut short by his untimely death in 2013 due to the Hot Pockets Fever epidemic.
King Dunlap- Despite his wonderful Wonderlic score and what surely must be a massive penis, he doesn't even make the team. Dies peacefully in 2040 at home in his giant bed, calling out for Rosebud, a strain of marijuana which unfortunately in 2040 is extinct.
Friday, April 25, 2008
The Only NFL Draft Preview You Need If You Are A Fan of the Philadelphia Friggin Eagles
Here are three interesting facts that very few people know about me:
Round 1 (Pick 19)
Best Case: Because of rumors of addiction to JuJubes and video games, Glenn Dorsey takes part in a monumental draft slide and is available at Pick 19. After a lot of thought (and Tastykakes), Andy Reid rolls the dice and selects Dorsey. Reid tries to get Dorsey on the phone to congratulate him, but Dorsey is too busy creating a Mii of himself with an Eagles jersey to import into Madden '08.
Worst Case: After wasting their first pick in last year's draft on Kevin Kolb, the Eagles decide that they would like to have a real competition for the backup quarterback position and select Joe Flacco, the QB from U of Delaware. Jay Fielder declines to comment on the pick.
Most Likely Case: Aqib Talib, the corner back from Kansas. The over/under on the time it takes someone to call WIP with the question, "Why did we just pick a terrorist instead of ...." is 7 minutes and 24 seconds after the pick is announced.
Round 2 (Pick 49)
Best Case: After the first round, it becomes much harder to project the draft picks, mainly because of trades and the fact that I haven't heard of any of the guys that are still available. So I think the best case scenario is that they trade this pick and Lito Sheppard to move up in the draft to take someone I've heard of. Like James Hardy.
Worst Case: In an attempt to draft more local players to appease the drunk fans, Reid selects Ray Rice, RB from Rutgers. With Westbrook and Buckhalter already in at the first two spots of the depth chart, Rice will most likely sit most of the season or be converted to a middle linebacker. Great value pick.
Most Likely Case: Duane Brown, offensive tackle from Virgina Tech. Two reasons: Andy Reid loves sitting next to offensive linemen at press conferences to make himself look thinner and 04/16/07 - Never Forget.
Round 3 (Pick 80)
Best Case: This is where the Eagles scouting pays off. With the 80th pick, the Eagles select Raymond Alafoutise, a 6'7 265 pound physical specimen from Harare, Zimbabwe. Though he has never played American Football in his life, Alafoutise can run a 4.2 40 yard dash (in his bare feet), can bench 225 pounds 54 times (ableit 225 pounds in artillery shells), can kick a ball (soccer) over 85 yards. It was Reid's wife who discover Alafoutise from a Mormon Mission brochure on Zimbabwe. It is projected that Alafoutise will play both offense and defense, but will not be given a position. The Eagles staff will just point at players and expect Alafoutise to destroy them.
Worst Case: After losing a golf bet to John Chaney, Reid is forced to pay up and selects Gary Stockman, WR from Temple. Though he has no official stats from his playing days at Temple, Stockman's unique stature (5'6 160 pounds) makes him the smallest non-kicker in the NFL. This could be another Vince Papale story in the making. Or not.
Most Likely Case: Andre Caldwell, wide receiver from Florida. Because Florida receivers have panned out so well in the NFL.
That is it. You are welcome.
- My lucky number is a fraction (5/12!!!)
- Though when people discuss scenes from the movie I always nod my head in agreeance, I've never seen Braveheart
- I am an Expert Prognosticator when it comes to the NFL Draft.
Round 1 (Pick 19)
Best Case: Because of rumors of addiction to JuJubes and video games, Glenn Dorsey takes part in a monumental draft slide and is available at Pick 19. After a lot of thought (and Tastykakes), Andy Reid rolls the dice and selects Dorsey. Reid tries to get Dorsey on the phone to congratulate him, but Dorsey is too busy creating a Mii of himself with an Eagles jersey to import into Madden '08.
Worst Case: After wasting their first pick in last year's draft on Kevin Kolb, the Eagles decide that they would like to have a real competition for the backup quarterback position and select Joe Flacco, the QB from U of Delaware. Jay Fielder declines to comment on the pick.
Most Likely Case: Aqib Talib, the corner back from Kansas. The over/under on the time it takes someone to call WIP with the question, "Why did we just pick a terrorist instead of ...." is 7 minutes and 24 seconds after the pick is announced.
Round 2 (Pick 49)
Best Case: After the first round, it becomes much harder to project the draft picks, mainly because of trades and the fact that I haven't heard of any of the guys that are still available. So I think the best case scenario is that they trade this pick and Lito Sheppard to move up in the draft to take someone I've heard of. Like James Hardy.
Worst Case: In an attempt to draft more local players to appease the drunk fans, Reid selects Ray Rice, RB from Rutgers. With Westbrook and Buckhalter already in at the first two spots of the depth chart, Rice will most likely sit most of the season or be converted to a middle linebacker. Great value pick.
Most Likely Case: Duane Brown, offensive tackle from Virgina Tech. Two reasons: Andy Reid loves sitting next to offensive linemen at press conferences to make himself look thinner and 04/16/07 - Never Forget.
Round 3 (Pick 80)
Best Case: This is where the Eagles scouting pays off. With the 80th pick, the Eagles select Raymond Alafoutise, a 6'7 265 pound physical specimen from Harare, Zimbabwe. Though he has never played American Football in his life, Alafoutise can run a 4.2 40 yard dash (in his bare feet), can bench 225 pounds 54 times (ableit 225 pounds in artillery shells), can kick a ball (soccer) over 85 yards. It was Reid's wife who discover Alafoutise from a Mormon Mission brochure on Zimbabwe. It is projected that Alafoutise will play both offense and defense, but will not be given a position. The Eagles staff will just point at players and expect Alafoutise to destroy them.
Worst Case: After losing a golf bet to John Chaney, Reid is forced to pay up and selects Gary Stockman, WR from Temple. Though he has no official stats from his playing days at Temple, Stockman's unique stature (5'6 160 pounds) makes him the smallest non-kicker in the NFL. This could be another Vince Papale story in the making. Or not.
Most Likely Case: Andre Caldwell, wide receiver from Florida. Because Florida receivers have panned out so well in the NFL.
That is it. You are welcome.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
L33T Wide Receiver Needed?
Please excuse the nerd speak. There is much buzz in the media and among fans that the Eagles have, to put it mildly, totally fucked up and ruined the upcoming season by not getting a top-flight wide receiver this off-season. All the talk of Randy Moss meetings and Larry Fitzgerald trades has been quieted, with Moss re-signing with the Pats and Fitzgerald apparently content to play for a hapless team that will pay him about 43% of their salary cap number every season until 3 years after his legs fall off. Besides, the Cardinals management, though they are dumbasses, wasn't going to trade their top receiver for Lito Sheppard and draft picks.
Other than Moss, the free agent market for WR's was weak. Bernard Berrian may have looked good based on his 948 yards receiving last year with the Bears, but he's really a slightly above-average receiver who had a ton of passes thrown in his direction last year. The Eagles already have this player; his name is Reggie Brown. Donte Stallworth was talked about, but bringing him and his iffy hamstrings back was obviously not in the cards or in the budget. And if they really do want an injury case, Javon Walker is still available.
The person who is being hurt the most in all of this is Kevin Curtis, who is probably very depressed (or not) about this chatter that the Eagles sorely need WR help. Sure, maybe he'd have loved being the counterpart Wes Welker to Randy Moss in Philly, but that ignores the fact that Curtis had a really good year last year with Reggie Brown lining up on the other side of the field and Donovan McNabb's occasional struggling. He's not a big red-zone target, but he's a fine receiver.
With McNabb back near 100% this year and the cast of receivers they already have, the Eagles could and should be one of the top 10 passing teams in the NFL again. That is unless they lose 1,000 yards in sacks, which could happen. The prospect of their ancient tackles getting hurt and Winston Justice starting against the Giants is far scarier than the possibility they won't add another WR before the season begins.
They got a good corner. They got a pass rusher. It would have been nice if they got a super-duper wide receiver too, but other than Moss there was no one available with the kind of talent worth crippling your salary cap room for. Before everyone writes off the Eagles because they don't have Randy Moss, let's see what happens with the possible trading of Lito and the draft, and get ready for an improved Eagles team in 2008. Improved enough to compete in the hyper-competitive NFC East? We shall see.
Other than Moss, the free agent market for WR's was weak. Bernard Berrian may have looked good based on his 948 yards receiving last year with the Bears, but he's really a slightly above-average receiver who had a ton of passes thrown in his direction last year. The Eagles already have this player; his name is Reggie Brown. Donte Stallworth was talked about, but bringing him and his iffy hamstrings back was obviously not in the cards or in the budget. And if they really do want an injury case, Javon Walker is still available.
The person who is being hurt the most in all of this is Kevin Curtis, who is probably very depressed (or not) about this chatter that the Eagles sorely need WR help. Sure, maybe he'd have loved being the counterpart Wes Welker to Randy Moss in Philly, but that ignores the fact that Curtis had a really good year last year with Reggie Brown lining up on the other side of the field and Donovan McNabb's occasional struggling. He's not a big red-zone target, but he's a fine receiver.
With McNabb back near 100% this year and the cast of receivers they already have, the Eagles could and should be one of the top 10 passing teams in the NFL again. That is unless they lose 1,000 yards in sacks, which could happen. The prospect of their ancient tackles getting hurt and Winston Justice starting against the Giants is far scarier than the possibility they won't add another WR before the season begins.
They got a good corner. They got a pass rusher. It would have been nice if they got a super-duper wide receiver too, but other than Moss there was no one available with the kind of talent worth crippling your salary cap room for. Before everyone writes off the Eagles because they don't have Randy Moss, let's see what happens with the possible trading of Lito and the draft, and get ready for an improved Eagles team in 2008. Improved enough to compete in the hyper-competitive NFC East? We shall see.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
A big win in big D - for the future
Even though they are mathematically out of the playoffs after last night's Vikings victory, it's always nice for the Eagles to beat up on their biggest one-sided rival, the Cowboys. I say one-sided because Cowboys fans generally do not consider the Eagles to be their most hated foe. Anyway, it was a nice victory, and featured a renewed mobility from Donovan McNabb, who obviously wants to showcase to the rest of the teams in the league that he is ready to be their quarterback. Ii seems that he can't stay here considering the words he has spoken this year. He's made it obvious he wants out, and no one should blame him. But what would next year bring if he does stay and is back to level approaching his old form, which was pretty damn good?
The fact is this team is not as bad as everyone, inlcuding myself in recent weeks, thinks. They have the best running back in the NFC, an offensive line that's decent when the QB can move/doesn't hold the ball for 18 seconds, a sad and terrible WR corps as they have most years, and slighly above average pass and run defenses. The special teams have been atrocious, but can be fixed. Akers (hopefully) just had an off year, and they can always find kick and punt returners. The Sav Rocca novelty also has worn thin; he's just not a good punter. But again, special teams are something which can be fixed in one offseason.
The Eagles could easily be 9-5 and heading to the playoffs with the talent assembled. Who is to say that next year, with a healthy McNabb, they wouldn't realize that potential and make a run in the playoffs? They're not in the same position as teams like Chicago, which is a recently good team in need of a complete overhaul. They're more like the Bengals; a good team that had some bad breaks this year.
Hopefully, we will get a chance to see what happens with McNabb under center next year. Despite all his jockeying, Reid and Joe Banner say he's staying, and I do hope Donovan will have a change of heart in the offseason. And if he doesn't, well, fuck him.
The fact is this team is not as bad as everyone, inlcuding myself in recent weeks, thinks. They have the best running back in the NFC, an offensive line that's decent when the QB can move/doesn't hold the ball for 18 seconds, a sad and terrible WR corps as they have most years, and slighly above average pass and run defenses. The special teams have been atrocious, but can be fixed. Akers (hopefully) just had an off year, and they can always find kick and punt returners. The Sav Rocca novelty also has worn thin; he's just not a good punter. But again, special teams are something which can be fixed in one offseason.
The Eagles could easily be 9-5 and heading to the playoffs with the talent assembled. Who is to say that next year, with a healthy McNabb, they wouldn't realize that potential and make a run in the playoffs? They're not in the same position as teams like Chicago, which is a recently good team in need of a complete overhaul. They're more like the Bengals; a good team that had some bad breaks this year.
Hopefully, we will get a chance to see what happens with McNabb under center next year. Despite all his jockeying, Reid and Joe Banner say he's staying, and I do hope Donovan will have a change of heart in the offseason. And if he doesn't, well, fuck him.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Should Donovan McNabb be killed?
(This is a super serious editorial I have written to broaden our appeal to Philadelphia sports fans)
After last night's clear moral victory that strangely still counts as a loss according to the archaic NFL rules, it's plainer than ever that AJ Feeley is, without hyperbole, the best quarterback in Eagles' history. But it seems there is still a question as to whether he will remain the starter this Sunday or if he will be replaced by the listless, decrepit, and Holocaust-denying Donovan McNabb. It is this quarterback controversy which leads us to the true fundamental question the Eagles must face as they head into their showdown with the Seahawks and their final 5 games of the season- should Donovan McNabb be bound and gagged and thrown into an active volcano, or shouldn't he?
As recently as 2004 I would have said "NO. Do not kill Donovan McNabb, even if it is to feed hungry pitbulls who would gladly feast on his innards." But in the bright glow of the radiance of AJ Feeley, I'm not so sure I'm opposed to the concept. On paper, the case can be made that Donovan should be this team's quarterback. He's had an excellent career and they've won a whole lot of games with him at the helm. But on another sheet of paper, I have drawn a picture of Donovan being horribly mangled in the propeller of a large airplane, and it just feels right.
There are other reasons to take McNabb out behind the Linc and put two in his skull as well. For one, he still hasn't won a Super Bowl. AJ Feeley hasn't won one either, but at least he wants to. McNabb probably would rather get injured than win, because that's what he likes to do. Also, McNabb has never won the MVP. AJ Feeley basically sealed his MVP award last night by throwing an equal amount of interceptions and touchdowns, demonstrating that the balance he brings to the Eagles is unparalleled, and that McNabb needs to be assassinated via injection with ricin pellets like Bulgarian dissident Georgi Markov was in 1978.
Is it the end of the world if Number 5 isn't crushed by one of those swinging two-tree thingys like the AT-ST was during the Battle of Endor in Return of the Jedi? Of course not. Even if he returns to being the starter, there is always a chance that AJ Feeley will grant McNabb an audience and then tutor him. And he'll probably end up injured again anyway, since he doesn't play hard and is always getting hurt because of it. But why risk a McNabb return when you can guarantee several years of Feeley (and therefore Super Bowl wins and low unemployment with low inflation)just by inserting an ice pick into the base of his skull? It's the only unselfish choice for the team, and for America.
After last night's clear moral victory that strangely still counts as a loss according to the archaic NFL rules, it's plainer than ever that AJ Feeley is, without hyperbole, the best quarterback in Eagles' history. But it seems there is still a question as to whether he will remain the starter this Sunday or if he will be replaced by the listless, decrepit, and Holocaust-denying Donovan McNabb. It is this quarterback controversy which leads us to the true fundamental question the Eagles must face as they head into their showdown with the Seahawks and their final 5 games of the season- should Donovan McNabb be bound and gagged and thrown into an active volcano, or shouldn't he?
As recently as 2004 I would have said "NO. Do not kill Donovan McNabb, even if it is to feed hungry pitbulls who would gladly feast on his innards." But in the bright glow of the radiance of AJ Feeley, I'm not so sure I'm opposed to the concept. On paper, the case can be made that Donovan should be this team's quarterback. He's had an excellent career and they've won a whole lot of games with him at the helm. But on another sheet of paper, I have drawn a picture of Donovan being horribly mangled in the propeller of a large airplane, and it just feels right.
There are other reasons to take McNabb out behind the Linc and put two in his skull as well. For one, he still hasn't won a Super Bowl. AJ Feeley hasn't won one either, but at least he wants to. McNabb probably would rather get injured than win, because that's what he likes to do. Also, McNabb has never won the MVP. AJ Feeley basically sealed his MVP award last night by throwing an equal amount of interceptions and touchdowns, demonstrating that the balance he brings to the Eagles is unparalleled, and that McNabb needs to be assassinated via injection with ricin pellets like Bulgarian dissident Georgi Markov was in 1978.
Is it the end of the world if Number 5 isn't crushed by one of those swinging two-tree thingys like the AT-ST was during the Battle of Endor in Return of the Jedi? Of course not. Even if he returns to being the starter, there is always a chance that AJ Feeley will grant McNabb an audience and then tutor him. And he'll probably end up injured again anyway, since he doesn't play hard and is always getting hurt because of it. But why risk a McNabb return when you can guarantee several years of Feeley (and therefore Super Bowl wins and low unemployment with low inflation)just by inserting an ice pick into the base of his skull? It's the only unselfish choice for the team, and for America.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Fixing the stupid Eagles
As evidenced by the loss to Dallas Sunday night, the Eagles are not very good right now. Of course, Dallas is an awesome team. They are a team so good that they don’t even have to help my fantasy football team and start their best running back. But if they can’t even make a game of it at home against hated rival Dallas (hated by the fans anyway), how can they compete against anyone? They are in turmoil. But what to do what to do? Addressed here are 3 common sentiments that have been read/heard in the past few days about how to fix the Eagles.
Fire Andy Reid
Perhaps this is not so crazy, and it's the only one of the 3 sentiments I can agree with. If a team with talent is not performing, the coach is usually the prime suspect as to why. But he shouldn't be let go because the BS going on with his anus-pill loving sons is limiting his ability to focus (a garbage theory), but because maybe he’s no longer capable of outcoaching his competitors. A lot of folks will tell you he never was anyway, but the fact is that the Eagles have had a good offense for much of Reid’s tenure. Now it seems though that many teams have figured his game plans out and he refuses to/can’t adapt. And then there are the accusations of stupid play calls and poor clock management, which have plagued his coaching career here. But the biggest knock on him this year, and one that is well deserved, is the ineptitude in the red zone. The Eagles rank 8th in the NFL in total yards and 20th in points. It’s a crude measurement of their non-success, but telling- and it’s also part of a 3-season trend.
Now, most of these charges have been leveled against him before around mid-season, which then resulted in a change in planning (or the planning started working well) and a late season surge into the playoffs. But with the crew they have now? This is unlikely. Even if Sacky McNabb and Co. play better (and they actually have not been as bad as many people think, other than the constant sacks), the secondary is still a mess and the special teams other than Akers make me gag like the kitten poo I’ve been cleaning up all week. But the biggest hurdle is that at 3-5, they have almost no room for error. But errors likely will be made. Like McNabb taking sacks. And playing the Patriots.
Of course if the Eagles turn it around and miraculously sneak into the playoffs, then Reid’s job will likely be safe. But if they finish 6-10 again like 2005? They’ll probably fire him, or he’ll be poisoned by an angry fan. Everyone can blame Reid’s failure on the distraction caused by his two jailbird kids, but everyone should know it’s only because Andy Reid's coaching has apparently gotten stale.
There is another option I will be called a crazy person for suggesting- instead of firing Reid, maybe they should fire Jim Johnson. The guy is hailed as a genius, but the fact is the Eagles defense has been in a decline since 2004. From 2000-2004, the Eagles were in the top 5 in points allowed every season except 2003, when they were 7th. They haven’t been in the top-10 in PA since. Last year, they ranked 6th in points scored and 15th in points allowed. Part of that is injuries and personnel changes, but good coaches deal well with those. And fire Mornigwheg too.
Bench McNabb (and trade him after the season)
Screw the benching crap. You want to bench him for a rookie who the coach you all say can’t think straight says is the QB of the future? McNabb has been hit with so many sacks this year that he’s making Lance Bass jealous, but he hasn’t been as awful as everyone thinks throwing the ball. He’s just not readjusting to his new running limitations very well. Pulling him out now will not help him if he’s ever going to learn to play well again. Regarding the trade possibilities- I hate the idea of trading a perceived superstar, as you’ll see below.
Trade Westbrook
A terrible, terrible idea. He’s the best player on the team. And they’ll never get decent value for him in a trade. A few people seem to have this dream of trading Westbrook for a massive package of draft picks, a la Herschel Walker or Ricky Williams. Not happening. Too many teams learned from those mistakes, and pulling off a big trade in the NFL is a much different proposition than in the other leagues. He also has 3 years left on his contract and is actually still underpaid based on his performance, making him worth having on their salary cap. He doesn’t even have a ton of mileage on him compared to other 6th year running backs. Trading him after this season would be more retarded than 1,000 retards acting retarded.
Fire Andy Reid
Perhaps this is not so crazy, and it's the only one of the 3 sentiments I can agree with. If a team with talent is not performing, the coach is usually the prime suspect as to why. But he shouldn't be let go because the BS going on with his anus-pill loving sons is limiting his ability to focus (a garbage theory), but because maybe he’s no longer capable of outcoaching his competitors. A lot of folks will tell you he never was anyway, but the fact is that the Eagles have had a good offense for much of Reid’s tenure. Now it seems though that many teams have figured his game plans out and he refuses to/can’t adapt. And then there are the accusations of stupid play calls and poor clock management, which have plagued his coaching career here. But the biggest knock on him this year, and one that is well deserved, is the ineptitude in the red zone. The Eagles rank 8th in the NFL in total yards and 20th in points. It’s a crude measurement of their non-success, but telling- and it’s also part of a 3-season trend.
Now, most of these charges have been leveled against him before around mid-season, which then resulted in a change in planning (or the planning started working well) and a late season surge into the playoffs. But with the crew they have now? This is unlikely. Even if Sacky McNabb and Co. play better (and they actually have not been as bad as many people think, other than the constant sacks), the secondary is still a mess and the special teams other than Akers make me gag like the kitten poo I’ve been cleaning up all week. But the biggest hurdle is that at 3-5, they have almost no room for error. But errors likely will be made. Like McNabb taking sacks. And playing the Patriots.
Of course if the Eagles turn it around and miraculously sneak into the playoffs, then Reid’s job will likely be safe. But if they finish 6-10 again like 2005? They’ll probably fire him, or he’ll be poisoned by an angry fan. Everyone can blame Reid’s failure on the distraction caused by his two jailbird kids, but everyone should know it’s only because Andy Reid's coaching has apparently gotten stale.
There is another option I will be called a crazy person for suggesting- instead of firing Reid, maybe they should fire Jim Johnson. The guy is hailed as a genius, but the fact is the Eagles defense has been in a decline since 2004. From 2000-2004, the Eagles were in the top 5 in points allowed every season except 2003, when they were 7th. They haven’t been in the top-10 in PA since. Last year, they ranked 6th in points scored and 15th in points allowed. Part of that is injuries and personnel changes, but good coaches deal well with those. And fire Mornigwheg too.
Bench McNabb (and trade him after the season)
Screw the benching crap. You want to bench him for a rookie who the coach you all say can’t think straight says is the QB of the future? McNabb has been hit with so many sacks this year that he’s making Lance Bass jealous, but he hasn’t been as awful as everyone thinks throwing the ball. He’s just not readjusting to his new running limitations very well. Pulling him out now will not help him if he’s ever going to learn to play well again. Regarding the trade possibilities- I hate the idea of trading a perceived superstar, as you’ll see below.
Trade Westbrook
A terrible, terrible idea. He’s the best player on the team. And they’ll never get decent value for him in a trade. A few people seem to have this dream of trading Westbrook for a massive package of draft picks, a la Herschel Walker or Ricky Williams. Not happening. Too many teams learned from those mistakes, and pulling off a big trade in the NFL is a much different proposition than in the other leagues. He also has 3 years left on his contract and is actually still underpaid based on his performance, making him worth having on their salary cap. He doesn’t even have a ton of mileage on him compared to other 6th year running backs. Trading him after this season would be more retarded than 1,000 retards acting retarded.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Dr. Pigskin's Prescriptions
Every (or at least this) week Dr. Pigskin prescribes the proper remedies to what ails the Eagles and/or one of the players. As well as posting here, Dr. Pigskin also calls his prescription in to the local CVS Pharmacist and has him deliver it to Lincoln Financial Field. No one ever questions Dr. Pigskin. Because, ladies and gentlemen, he is a doctor.Today's Patient: The Philadelphia Eagles' Offense
Symptoms: Stagnant, Inability to Produce in the Red Zone, Wide Receivers Having Difficult Time Creating Separation, Just Not Very Good
Length of Symptoms: Two Weeks
Very interesting. You say you've been experiencing these symptoms for two weeks? And you're nervous that if you don't get better soon, your situation could become dire? Well don't you worry. Just follow my directions, and you'll be as good as ever by next Sunday. OK? Great. Now here is my prescription.
1. Run the Ball. Consistently. You have one of the best Center-Guard combinations in the NFL in Jamaal Jackson and Shaun Andrews, even if Andrews isn't completely healthy. You should be able to dictate the tempo running behind these two guys. No one is going to buy your play action fakes on second and third down if they don't actually believe you are going to run the ball. And while you are at it, maybe have Bryan Westbrook and Correll Buckhalter in the same backfield for a few plays a game. Put one of them in motion and see if the defense lines a safety or linebacker over them. This will create a little unpredictability which I think you could use right now.
2. Put Some Receivers in Motion. I hear that my dear old friend, Ron "Baby Button" (don't ask) Jaworski, also made this suggestion on Monday night. And I have to agree with Double B. If your wide receivers are having a tough time beating the bump off the line of scrimmage, then teams are going to keep jamming them. Add a little motion and force the defenders to play a few yards off of them. It can't hurt and may add some confidence to your receivers.
3. Use the Middle of the Field. I know, I know, your starting tight end, LJ Smith, is still recovering from an injury. But you have backup tight ends right? I'm not saying they need to be running down the seam every play, but at least get them involved in the offense. If the corners start to give the wide receivers some breathing room, have them run some slants as well. Until Donovan McNabb is completely healthy, you need to keep things simple and easy for him. Short routes in the middle of the field accomplish that task.
Sounds simple right? Well, it is. But the only way I can guarantee success is if you stick to the plan. If you try and self medicate or only use the plan for one half, you'll probably just regress to your current state. Hopefully it goes well, and I'll see you next week.
Where have I seen this before?
In 2003, the Eagles started out 0-2. In the first 2 games, they were outscored a total of 48-10 by an okay Tampa Bay team and a Pats team that, while very good, was coming off a shocking 31-0 drubbing by Buffalo. Donovan McNabb in those first 2 games was a combined 37-82 for 334 yards, with 3 INT and ZERO touchdown passes. He did run for 55 yards in each game, but that didn't help- they got completely throttled in back to back games. The entire city was in a shambles, and several thousand men jumped to their deaths from the Walt Whitman Bridge. What oh what was wrong with the Eagles? And of course those 2 lost games led to the Eagles having a horrible 4-12 season.
Oh, wait, NO THEY DIDN'T. The Eagles won 12 of their next 14 games, won the NFC East, beat a great Packers team in the divisional round in a classic game, cured several forms of bone cancer, and then sadly blew it against Carolina in the NFC Championship Game. The 0-2 start became a distant memory, which judging by the reaction to the young 2007 season is a completely obvious statement.
These 2007 Eagles do have obvious problems. Reid/Mornhinweg have done a bad job calling the offense, McNabb is not even at 80%, the secondary depth is thin, the special teams' coverage and return skills are terrible, and the receiving corps is as lively as as Pavarotti's corpse. But man, do you remember who their leading receiver was in 2003? James Thrash. They almost made the Super Bowl with Thrash and Pinkston leading the team in receiving. That's way more amazing than if they were to make it that far with Reggie Brown and Kevin Curtis.
My initial optimism going into this season has been dampened somewhat too. I drank way too much McNabb Kool-Aid going in, forgetting that almost no one can come back 100% from an ACL tear this quickly. And I admit my 12-4 prediction is now going to be a bit off. But this is still a playoff team in the weak NFC. However if they lose to Detroit this week, then I'll join everyone on their "Eagles are a disaster" crazy party bus.
That Was Not Very Good
Well, the Eagles got beat by another average football team. I thought it was best summarized by Steve Young after the game when asked to describe the Redskins performance in one word, and he just stared at the camera until he could come up with "Efficient".
There is blame to go all around for this one.
Donovan McNabb still looks like a quarterback recovering from ACL surgery. There are a lot of throws that he is currently missing on that a healthy Donovan McNabb makes easily. Some of it is timing, like the deep balls, and some of it is his leg. Why these players feel the need to rush back from ACL surgery is beyond me? It probably cost Daunte Culpepper his career and Carson Palmer was not fully healthy until the start of this season.
As was discussed ad nauseum last night, the receivers are having a very difficult time getting open, especially when they are being jammed at the line. I agree that LaRon Landry made a great play at the end of the game, but Kevin Curtis has to figure out a way to tuck that catch away. I imagine the immediate knee-jerk reaction will be for fans to pine for the days of TO. I'm not nearly at that stage. Reggie Brown showed last year that he can be a very good receiver in the NFL. For some reason, he has not shown up to play yet this year. Hopefully he realizes that for the Eagles to succeed, he needs to step his game up.
But my real problem with the Eagles right now is the coaching. They are not giving the players the best chance to succeed. I have usually supported the Eagles coaching staff in the past when it comes to playcalling. But last night they seemed to be using the running game as a way to give the receivers a quick breather on first down. The Eagles have a very good running game when they decide to use it. Yet Brian Westbrook only had 17 carries last night.
The most disconcerting trend last night was the Eagles reliance on McNabb once they got inside Washington's 25 yard line. According to my counting, the Eagles ran 25 plays inside Washington's 25 yard line, and only 2 of those plays were running plays to Westbrook. They tried to get him the ball in the open field with some short passes, but obviously the Redskins were keying on him during passing plays and taking their chances with the Eagles receivers making plays.
Washington is an average team. Green Bay is an average team. Both teams played essentially not to lose, and they ended up not losing. I'm not ready to write off the Eagles season yet, mainly because the NFC is awful, but they are in a big hole right now.
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It is time for the Tony Kornheiser Experiment to end. I will preface this by saying that I love Tony Kornheiser. Using the written word to express humor is one of the most difficult things in life. But he is one of the few newspaper columnists in the country that is actually funny. And I love his radio show, which was billed as sports talk radio, but rarely discussed sports. With that said, he is terrible on Monday Night Football. The only substance he "adds" to the telecast are the random statistics that the producers feed him. He has essentially become an audible computer graphic. And this has been made even more glaring by putting Ron Jaworski in the booth. Jaws has quickly become the best football analyst on TV. So you have Jaworski breaking down a play immediately after it happened, then you have Kornheiser adding, "Aww, c'mon Jaws, you're just saying that because you're rooting for the Eagles".
The third quarter of last night's game was basically unwatchable with Kornheiser and Charles Barkley making the same three points for forty five minutes; McNabb and Reid don't get a fair shake, Philadelphia fans are brutal, the Eagles wide receivers have always been bad, save the TO year. It seemed like they told Jaworski to just sit that quarter out. Fortunately for me, Anthony Bourdain was in South Carolina eating BBQ, so it was an easy choice to flip over to The Travel Channel.
At some point the NFL has to step in and tell ESPN, "Listen, we appreciate you guys trying to bring more viewers to the broadcast, but we're the N F Friggin L. We are the most popular sport in the country, and it isn't even close. Just broadcast the game and people will watch it. You don't need to have a late night talk show in the booth during the third quarter. People are watching the game because they want to watch a football game. Also, fire Chris Berman while you are at it. He annoys us"
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Does anyone really believe that the Arizona Diamondbacks are going to make the playoffs?
Monday, September 17, 2007
IT WAS ONE GAME!
The latest and greatest in overreacting Philly sports writing garbage comes courtesy of Rich Hoffman in today's Daily News.
Hofmann takes a look at the Green Bay game last week and makes the assumption that McNabb's unimpressive performance means he could be washed up. That's a big statement to make after the amazingly small sample size of one frigging game. Also, it was one measly game against a team with a very good defense, who were playing at home. And Hoffman ignores the dropped passes by the Eagles receivers. Those are counted in McNabb's passing stats, you know.
Obviously McNabb is a step slower right now- for one thing, he's not 25 anymore. And he is also just coming off MAJOR RECONSTRUCTIVE SURGERY. Call me crazy, but this could be a reason he's not able to run around as well as he used to. It's pretty commonly believed than an ACL tear has a 2 year recovery period. So chances are we're not going to see a lot of leg magic out of McNabb this season. Boo hoo. But this hardly means he's washed up, or that he's going to have 15 more games like last Sunday's. I'm so tired of these doomsaying columnists who say the sky is falling when in reality it's just sagging a bit.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
NFL Preview
Back from the Labor Day camping trip, I now give you my NFL predictions, which will be rendered moot by injuries like they are every year and are basically pointless filler while I try to comprehend what the hell happened to the Phillies while I was living in nature for 4 days without any connection to the outside world-
NFC East
Eagles- 12-4
This is obviously hugely optimistic. But the division isn't that strong, and there's no reason to believe they won't be better than they were last season. They have one of the best offensive lines in football, a great QB who hopefully doesn't need a leg amputated this year, Brian Westbrook, good d-line depth, a very good secondary as long as Sean Considine learns to play football, and a punter from a country founded as a prison colony. The main concerns are the linebackers and the receiving corps, but we've all heard that before. Big things will and should be expected from this team in 2007.
Cowboys- 9-7
Giants- 7-9
Redskins- 7-9
NFC North
Bears- 10-6
The defense will actually go 10 and 0. Rex Grossman will go 0 and 6.
Vikings- 8-8
Packers- 7-9
Lions- 6-10
NFC South
Saints- 11-5
The 2007 Phillies of the NFL. Great offense, awful pitching, which in this case means linebackers and secondary.
Panthers- 10-6
Buccaneers- 8-8
Falcons- 2-14
NFC West
Seahawks- 10-6
49ers- 9-7
Rams- 8-8
The Rams seem to define mediocrity. If the Ram was a zodiac sign, and it may be actually, it would stand for "Averageness".
Cards- 4-12
Playoffs- Eagles, Bears, Saints, Seahawks, Panthers, 49ers
NFC Champs- Eagles
AFC East
Patriots- 13-3
The big story with them was adding Randy Moss. But the bigger story is actually them being confident enough to keep Richard Seymour in cryogenic suspension for the first 6 weeks of the season. This is a deep team. Barring Tom Brady getting hurt or quitting football to spend more time concentrating on getting all the choice tail he can, they will rampage through they league.
Jets- 9-7
Bills- 6-10
Dolphins 5-11
AFC North
Baltimore- 11-5
Bengals- 10-6
Steelers- 9-7
The potential lack of a running game is way more disconcerting than the potential of another Big Ben meltdown.
Cleveland- 8-8
AFC South-
Colts- 10-6
Jags- 8-8
What the hell is up with ditching Leftwich for a guy who would probably only be above average in the Arena League? It's no secret that Del Rio had it in for him, but it's going to cost them 2 or more wins.
Titans- 7-9
Texans- 4-12
AFC West-
Broncos- 11-5
Chargers- 8-8
Norv Turner. HAHAHAHAHA. Enjoy.
Chiefs- 6-10
Raiders- 3-13
Playoff teams- Patriots, Ravens, Colts, Broncos, Bengals, Steelers
AFC Champs- Patriots
And for the 5th straight year, my prediction is that the Eagles and Pats will face off in the Super Bowl, only this year, I predict the Eagles will prevail. Nah, just kidding. I pick the Patriots to win the whole thing.
Monday, August 27, 2007
I am a score prediction genius, plus some made up stats
First of all, let's all take a moment and realize how awesome it is that I nailed the final score of the Eagles' game in my Friday prediction. The chances of doing that are like 1 in a 1,000; and that's a statistic I just made up.
Speaking of made up statistics, I created this weird little metric that I use during football season called "negative yells per player". It's real simple to use- just keep track of how many times per game you vocalize displeasure with a player's performance by yelling their name is disgust. You don't even have to count, really; after a few games, you'll notice a pattern of who keeps invoking your ire. Here are the Eagles preseason leaders in NYPP-
Sean Considine
He leads in NYPP by a wide margin; it's not even close. He's only effective when he is unblocked and not seen by offensive players. So unless he can turn invisible and intangible, he shouldn't be the starter at strong safety. Quentin Mikell has to be better for the role than Considine.
The only nice plays he had last night were coming in untouched on blitzes. He can't tackle anyone larger than a Teddy Ruxpin doll (though he magically led the Eagles in tackles last night), and is flat-out missing in pass coverage. Again, his only hope of being effective is developing superpowers before the opener in Green Bay. Let's all hope he does.
Chris Gocong
He has to be better Dhani Jones, right? Right??? Because it doesn't look like he is yet. He looks lost in pass coverage and takes strange angles of pursuit. He looks like someone who has never played linebacker before, which is basically true since he was a DE in college and missed last season with the Eagles. He's got 13 days to learn where to be on the field.
Thomas Tapeh
Surprised to see a fullback on here? Don't be, you easily surprised person. Tapeh is a slightly below average receiver who is a non-factor as a runner. Therefore, his main purpose is to block. He does an okay job in run blocking, but is often out of position when asked to pass block, which may get McNabb maimed even further this season.
Reggie Brown
How much did Dante Stallworth want to stick around? Oh, that much? It would have been worth it, unless Brown really steps up soon.
Conversely, there is also the PYPP, or positive yells per player, stat. These are for when a player does something nice and you yell their name out in delight (in a non-sexual way). The leaders here for the preseason are-
Sheldon Brown
Even I think the stat I made up is a little misleading in this case. Sheldon makes some really nice plays, but is also visibly out of position a little too often. Still, I likes him.
Jeremiah Trotter
Whoops, next...
Donovan McNabb
The man looks ready to play.
Mike Patterson
Hopefully his obvious improvement from last season isn't just a preseason thing.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Take aback Trotter
In a move shocking to people who are still shocked by the things the Eagles' front office does, and Jeremiah Trotter, middle linebacker Jeremiah Trotter was released today. Wow, how many times can they screw this guy over?
I feel conflicted about the decision. First off, I must admit that I drink the midnight green Kool-Aid; unlike any other Philly team, I generally am willing to trust the Eagles' personnel decisions. They may lack a Super Bowl win, but they've also won at least one playoff game every year this decade except 2005. That's impressive.
Okay, on to my mind-blowing analysis. Trotter was not very good last season. For one, he can't play pass defense at all. Secondly, and more importantly, the Eagles had severe problems stopping runs up the middle, which was also the fault of their mediocre defensive tackles. But Trotter's increasing immobility has to shoulder some of the blame for giving up so many 5 and 6 yard runs up the gut. And in pursuit, forget it; he's as worthless as the penis on a priest. The only reason it statistically looks like they had a half-decent run D last year is that running outside on them was very hard, even with the deficient Dhani Jones out there giving himself very few chances to strum his air guitar.
But, like I said, it wasn't all his fault last year. It's very difficult to play MLB when your d-tackles are consistently being blocked back into your operating area. There is a symbiotic relationship between the 2 positions unlike any other on the defense. Actually, I would almost call it parasitic- the middle LB feeds off of the success of the DT's in tying up blockers. So while Trotter is no longer the best man for the job, does anyone really think Takeo Spikes or whoever they move to the middle is going to be a superb replacement if Mike Patterson, Broderick Bunkley and company don't get their shit together against the run? Because no one should.
Why not simply keep and demote Trotter? I'm sure he would have hated that, but with an injury to Spikes always looming they now have no experienced backups. Even though the Eagles are notoriously frugal, keeping Trotter and his not-exorbitant 2 million dollar salary around as insurance was probably a better move.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Donovan McNabb Did Not Spontaneously Combust
Much to the surprise of apparently many in the Philadelphia media and public, Donovan McNabb still knows how to play football. Reading the superlatives that people have used to describe McNabb's performance last night, one would tend to believe that McNabb was playing a first game since having a lobotomy or some sort of radical procedure in which doctors performed a dinosaur appendage transplant on him. Not an ACL injury. Newsflash: Knee surgery does not cause one of the best NFL Quarterbacks to forget how to take a five step drop and throw a 15 yard out. I really don't remember people freaking out about Carson Palmer last pre-season, at least not to the degree to which McNabb has endured for the past month. But for whatever reason, both the Philadelphia and the national media have always put this weird pressure on McNabb.Also, when did it become the hip thing to refer to McNabb as "Five" or "Number 5" as opposed to his real name? For whatever reason, when I hear someone on television call him Five, it is like someone set off a firecracker inside my ear canal. God it bugs me. I guess this is part of being "Now". I'm really getting old.
Friday, August 17, 2007
Quit Your Bitching
Dateline Philadelphia........The cost of parking for Eagles games at Lincoln Financial Field has been increased from $11 to $20 this season, starting with tonight's exhibition game against the Carolina Panthers.
I imagine there were many people that woke up in Delaware County today, bypassed all of the other sections of the paper to get to the Sports, read that little blurb, and immediately started to complain to their spouse/significant other how greedy the Eagles are. Probably even threw in an anti-Semitic comment just for good measure.
And to those people, I say, Shut Up. You should be grateful that you were only paying $11 up to this point. For whatever reason, the Eagles organization has been undercharging for parking for years. And do not be surprised if you see substantial increases in the following years? Why do you ask? Well you're in luck, because you have come to a parking expert.
It is simple supply and demand. The Eagles, according to the Inquirer, have approximately 22,000 parking spaces. If they did not charge anything for parking, I imagine the demand for parking would be well over 22,000 because people would drive down to the stadium to tailgate. I imagine that was still happening last year at $11 to park. Now that the rate is $20, the extra tailgaters will probably be removed, but fans attending the game will still park on site. And the Eagles will continue to increase the rate for parking until they observe that the supply of parking spaces is exceeding the demand at the rate that they are charging.
People need to stop thinking of the Eagles as their football team, and realize that they are a business. And the purpose of a business is to make money. Parking is a revenue stream that the Eagles have not maximized in the past, which was a mistake. If you don't want to pay the rate that they are charging, you have two options: Find another way to get to the game, or don't go. But don't bitch about the price of parking and then pay it. That is just pathetic.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Peter King is an Ass
Why he hates McNabb so much is beyond me. This is from his column today:
"I plan to win games every year I'm playing, and I plan on doing it here in Philadelphia. I'll be here in Philadelphia for years to come."
-- Donovan McNabb, with the hot breath of second-round quarterback Kevin Kolb breathing down his neck as the Eagles opened training-camp practice on Saturday.
What the hell is he even talking about? Kolb is breathing down his neck? He's going to be the #3 QB and is at least 3 years from being considered as the Eagles starting QB.
And that begins our Eagles preview.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Cracker Jack McCaffery Says Hello
His column today was a whole lot of nothing titled, "Birds moving closer to next quarterback". It is his typical garbage, filled with his own speculation and innuendo, but devoid of any real insight or actual facts that may support his opinions.
He was right at 24, and at 27 and at 29, and he could be right at 31, 32 and 33. But the Eagles have to prepare for that day when he is not - and for when patience will be the worst remedy, not the best.
Peyton Manning is 31. Tom Brady will be 30 this upcoming season. Do writers speculate the future at QB for the Colts and Pats? This is just typical gloom and doom from the Delaware County Times resident hack.
He was right at 24, and at 27 and at 29, and he could be right at 31, 32 and 33. But the Eagles have to prepare for that day when he is not - and for when patience will be the worst remedy, not the best.
Peyton Manning is 31. Tom Brady will be 30 this upcoming season. Do writers speculate the future at QB for the Colts and Pats? This is just typical gloom and doom from the Delaware County Times resident hack.
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