A big win in big D - for the future

Even though they are mathematically out of the playoffs after last night's Vikings victory, it's always nice for the Eagles to beat up on their biggest one-sided rival, the Cowboys. I say one-sided because Cowboys fans generally do not consider the Eagles to be their most hated foe. Anyway, it was a nice victory, and featured a renewed mobility from Donovan McNabb, who obviously wants to showcase to the rest of the teams in the league that he is ready to be their quarterback. Ii seems that he can't stay here considering the words he has spoken this year. He's made it obvious he wants out, and no one should blame him. But what would next year bring if he does stay and is back to level approaching his old form, which was pretty damn good?

The fact is this team is not as bad as everyone, inlcuding myself in recent weeks, thinks. They have the best running back in the NFC, an offensive line that's decent when the QB can move/doesn't hold the ball for 18 seconds, a sad and terrible WR corps as they have most years, and slighly above average pass and run defenses. The special teams have been atrocious, but can be fixed. Akers (hopefully) just had an off year, and they can always find kick and punt returners. The Sav Rocca novelty also has worn thin; he's just not a good punter. But again, special teams are something which can be fixed in one offseason.

The Eagles could easily be 9-5 and heading to the playoffs with the talent assembled. Who is to say that next year, with a healthy McNabb, they wouldn't realize that potential and make a run in the playoffs? They're not in the same position as teams like Chicago, which is a recently good team in need of a complete overhaul. They're more like the Bengals; a good team that had some bad breaks this year.

Hopefully, we will get a chance to see what happens with McNabb under center next year. Despite all his jockeying, Reid and Joe Banner say he's staying, and I do hope Donovan will have a change of heart in the offseason. And if he doesn't, well, fuck him.

Should Donovan McNabb be killed?

(This is a super serious editorial I have written to broaden our appeal to Philadelphia sports fans)

After last night's clear moral victory that strangely still counts as a loss according to the archaic NFL rules, it's plainer than ever that AJ Feeley is, without hyperbole, the best quarterback in Eagles' history. But it seems there is still a question as to whether he will remain the starter this Sunday or if he will be replaced by the listless, decrepit, and Holocaust-denying Donovan McNabb. It is this quarterback controversy which leads us to the true fundamental question the Eagles must face as they head into their showdown with the Seahawks and their final 5 games of the season- should Donovan McNabb be bound and gagged and thrown into an active volcano, or shouldn't he?

As recently as 2004 I would have said "NO. Do not kill Donovan McNabb, even if it is to feed hungry pitbulls who would gladly feast on his innards." But in the bright glow of the radiance of AJ Feeley, I'm not so sure I'm opposed to the concept. On paper, the case can be made that Donovan should be this team's quarterback. He's had an excellent career and they've won a whole lot of games with him at the helm. But on another sheet of paper, I have drawn a picture of Donovan being horribly mangled in the propeller of a large airplane, and it just feels right.

There are other reasons to take McNabb out behind the Linc and put two in his skull as well. For one, he still hasn't won a Super Bowl. AJ Feeley hasn't won one either, but at least he wants to. McNabb probably would rather get injured than win, because that's what he likes to do. Also, McNabb has never won the MVP. AJ Feeley basically sealed his MVP award last night by throwing an equal amount of interceptions and touchdowns, demonstrating that the balance he brings to the Eagles is unparalleled, and that McNabb needs to be assassinated via injection with ricin pellets like Bulgarian dissident Georgi Markov was in 1978.

Is it the end of the world if Number 5 isn't crushed by one of those swinging two-tree thingys like the AT-ST was during the Battle of Endor in Return of the Jedi? Of course not. Even if he returns to being the starter, there is always a chance that AJ Feeley will grant McNabb an audience and then tutor him. And he'll probably end up injured again anyway, since he doesn't play hard and is always getting hurt because of it. But why risk a McNabb return when you can guarantee several years of Feeley (and therefore Super Bowl wins and low unemployment with low inflation)just by inserting an ice pick into the base of his skull? It's the only unselfish choice for the team, and for America.

Fixing the stupid Eagles

As evidenced by the loss to Dallas Sunday night, the Eagles are not very good right now. Of course, Dallas is an awesome team. They are a team so good that they don’t even have to help my fantasy football team and start their best running back. But if they can’t even make a game of it at home against hated rival Dallas (hated by the fans anyway), how can they compete against anyone? They are in turmoil. But what to do what to do? Addressed here are 3 common sentiments that have been read/heard in the past few days about how to fix the Eagles.

Fire Andy Reid

Perhaps this is not so crazy, and it's the only one of the 3 sentiments I can agree with. If a team with talent is not performing, the coach is usually the prime suspect as to why. But he shouldn't be let go because the BS going on with his anus-pill loving sons is limiting his ability to focus (a garbage theory), but because maybe he’s no longer capable of outcoaching his competitors. A lot of folks will tell you he never was anyway, but the fact is that the Eagles have had a good offense for much of Reid’s tenure. Now it seems though that many teams have figured his game plans out and he refuses to/can’t adapt. And then there are the accusations of stupid play calls and poor clock management, which have plagued his coaching career here. But the biggest knock on him this year, and one that is well deserved, is the ineptitude in the red zone. The Eagles rank 8th in the NFL in total yards and 20th in points. It’s a crude measurement of their non-success, but telling- and it’s also part of a 3-season trend.

Now, most of these charges have been leveled against him before around mid-season, which then resulted in a change in planning (or the planning started working well) and a late season surge into the playoffs. But with the crew they have now? This is unlikely. Even if Sacky McNabb and Co. play better (and they actually have not been as bad as many people think, other than the constant sacks), the secondary is still a mess and the special teams other than Akers make me gag like the kitten poo I’ve been cleaning up all week. But the biggest hurdle is that at 3-5, they have almost no room for error. But errors likely will be made. Like McNabb taking sacks. And playing the Patriots.

Of course if the Eagles turn it around and miraculously sneak into the playoffs, then Reid’s job will likely be safe. But if they finish 6-10 again like 2005? They’ll probably fire him, or he’ll be poisoned by an angry fan. Everyone can blame Reid’s failure on the distraction caused by his two jailbird kids, but everyone should know it’s only because Andy Reid's coaching has apparently gotten stale.

There is another option I will be called a crazy person for suggesting- instead of firing Reid, maybe they should fire Jim Johnson. The guy is hailed as a genius, but the fact is the Eagles defense has been in a decline since 2004. From 2000-2004, the Eagles were in the top 5 in points allowed every season except 2003, when they were 7th. They haven’t been in the top-10 in PA since. Last year, they ranked 6th in points scored and 15th in points allowed. Part of that is injuries and personnel changes, but good coaches deal well with those. And fire Mornigwheg too.

Bench McNabb (and trade him after the season)

Screw the benching crap. You want to bench him for a rookie who the coach you all say can’t think straight says is the QB of the future? McNabb has been hit with so many sacks this year that he’s making Lance Bass jealous, but he hasn’t been as awful as everyone thinks throwing the ball. He’s just not readjusting to his new running limitations very well. Pulling him out now will not help him if he’s ever going to learn to play well again. Regarding the trade possibilities- I hate the idea of trading a perceived superstar, as you’ll see below.

Trade Westbrook

A terrible, terrible idea. He’s the best player on the team. And they’ll never get decent value for him in a trade. A few people seem to have this dream of trading Westbrook for a massive package of draft picks, a la Herschel Walker or Ricky Williams. Not happening. Too many teams learned from those mistakes, and pulling off a big trade in the NFL is a much different proposition than in the other leagues. He also has 3 years left on his contract and is actually still underpaid based on his performance, making him worth having on their salary cap. He doesn’t even have a ton of mileage on him compared to other 6th year running backs. Trading him after this season would be more retarded than 1,000 retards acting retarded.

Dr. Pigskin's Prescriptions

Every (or at least this) week Dr. Pigskin prescribes the proper remedies to what ails the Eagles and/or one of the players. As well as posting here, Dr. Pigskin also calls his prescription in to the local CVS Pharmacist and has him deliver it to Lincoln Financial Field. No one ever questions Dr. Pigskin. Because, ladies and gentlemen, he is a doctor.

Today's Patient: The Philadelphia Eagles' Offense
Symptoms: Stagnant, Inability to Produce in the Red Zone, Wide Receivers Having Difficult Time Creating Separation, Just Not Very Good
Length of Symptoms: Two Weeks

Very interesting. You say you've been experiencing these symptoms for two weeks? And you're nervous that if you don't get better soon, your situation could become dire? Well don't you worry. Just follow my directions, and you'll be as good as ever by next Sunday. OK? Great. Now here is my prescription.

1. Run the Ball. Consistently. You have one of the best Center-Guard combinations in the NFL in Jamaal Jackson and Shaun Andrews, even if Andrews isn't completely healthy. You should be able to dictate the tempo running behind these two guys. No one is going to buy your play action fakes on second and third down if they don't actually believe you are going to run the ball. And while you are at it, maybe have Bryan Westbrook and Correll Buckhalter in the same backfield for a few plays a game. Put one of them in motion and see if the defense lines a safety or linebacker over them. This will create a little unpredictability which I think you could use right now.

2. Put Some Receivers in Motion. I hear that my dear old friend, Ron "Baby Button" (don't ask) Jaworski, also made this suggestion on Monday night. And I have to agree with Double B. If your wide receivers are having a tough time beating the bump off the line of scrimmage, then teams are going to keep jamming them. Add a little motion and force the defenders to play a few yards off of them. It can't hurt and may add some confidence to your receivers.

3. Use the Middle of the Field. I know, I know, your starting tight end, LJ Smith, is still recovering from an injury. But you have backup tight ends right? I'm not saying they need to be running down the seam every play, but at least get them involved in the offense. If the corners start to give the wide receivers some breathing room, have them run some slants as well. Until Donovan McNabb is completely healthy, you need to keep things simple and easy for him. Short routes in the middle of the field accomplish that task.

Sounds simple right? Well, it is. But the only way I can guarantee success is if you stick to the plan. If you try and self medicate or only use the plan for one half, you'll probably just regress to your current state. Hopefully it goes well, and I'll see you next week.

Where have I seen this before?

In 2003, the Eagles started out 0-2. In the first 2 games, they were outscored a total of 48-10 by an okay Tampa Bay team and a Pats team that, while very good, was coming off a shocking 31-0 drubbing by Buffalo. Donovan McNabb in those first 2 games was a combined 37-82 for 334 yards, with 3 INT and ZERO touchdown passes. He did run for 55 yards in each game, but that didn't help- they got completely throttled in back to back games. The entire city was in a shambles, and several thousand men jumped to their deaths from the Walt Whitman Bridge. What oh what was wrong with the Eagles? And of course those 2 lost games led to the Eagles having a horrible 4-12 season.

Oh, wait, NO THEY DIDN'T. The Eagles won 12 of their next 14 games, won the NFC East, beat a great Packers team in the divisional round in a classic game, cured several forms of bone cancer, and then sadly blew it against Carolina in the NFC Championship Game. The 0-2 start became a distant memory, which judging by the reaction to the young 2007 season is a completely obvious statement.

These 2007 Eagles do have obvious problems. Reid/Mornhinweg have done a bad job calling the offense, McNabb is not even at 80%, the secondary depth is thin, the special teams' coverage and return skills are terrible, and the receiving corps is as lively as as Pavarotti's corpse. But man, do you remember who their leading receiver was in 2003? James Thrash. They almost made the Super Bowl with Thrash and Pinkston leading the team in receiving. That's way more amazing than if they were to make it that far with Reggie Brown and Kevin Curtis.

My initial optimism going into this season has been dampened somewhat too. I drank way too much McNabb Kool-Aid going in, forgetting that almost no one can come back 100% from an ACL tear this quickly. And I admit my 12-4 prediction is now going to be a bit off. But this is still a playoff team in the weak NFC. However if they lose to Detroit this week, then I'll join everyone on their "Eagles are a disaster" crazy party bus.

That Was Not Very Good

Well, the Eagles got beat by another average football team. I thought it was best summarized by Steve Young after the game when asked to describe the Redskins performance in one word, and he just stared at the camera until he could come up with "Efficient".

There is blame to go all around for this one.

Donovan McNabb still looks like a quarterback recovering from ACL surgery. There are a lot of throws that he is currently missing on that a healthy Donovan McNabb makes easily. Some of it is timing, like the deep balls, and some of it is his leg. Why these players feel the need to rush back from ACL surgery is beyond me? It probably cost Daunte Culpepper his career and Carson Palmer was not fully healthy until the start of this season.

As was discussed ad nauseum last night, the receivers are having a very difficult time getting open, especially when they are being jammed at the line. I agree that LaRon Landry made a great play at the end of the game, but Kevin Curtis has to figure out a way to tuck that catch away. I imagine the immediate knee-jerk reaction will be for fans to pine for the days of TO. I'm not nearly at that stage. Reggie Brown showed last year that he can be a very good receiver in the NFL. For some reason, he has not shown up to play yet this year. Hopefully he realizes that for the Eagles to succeed, he needs to step his game up.

But my real problem with the Eagles right now is the coaching. They are not giving the players the best chance to succeed. I have usually supported the Eagles coaching staff in the past when it comes to playcalling. But last night they seemed to be using the running game as a way to give the receivers a quick breather on first down. The Eagles have a very good running game when they decide to use it. Yet Brian Westbrook only had 17 carries last night.

The most disconcerting trend last night was the Eagles reliance on McNabb once they got inside Washington's 25 yard line. According to my counting, the Eagles ran 25 plays inside Washington's 25 yard line, and only 2 of those plays were running plays to Westbrook. They tried to get him the ball in the open field with some short passes, but obviously the Redskins were keying on him during passing plays and taking their chances with the Eagles receivers making plays.

Washington is an average team. Green Bay is an average team. Both teams played essentially not to lose, and they ended up not losing. I'm not ready to write off the Eagles season yet, mainly because the NFC is awful, but they are in a big hole right now.

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It is time for the Tony Kornheiser Experiment to end. I will preface this by saying that I love Tony Kornheiser. Using the written word to express humor is one of the most difficult things in life. But he is one of the few newspaper columnists in the country that is actually funny. And I love his radio show, which was billed as sports talk radio, but rarely discussed sports. With that said, he is terrible on Monday Night Football. The only substance he "adds" to the telecast are the random statistics that the producers feed him. He has essentially become an audible computer graphic. And this has been made even more glaring by putting Ron Jaworski in the booth. Jaws has quickly become the best football analyst on TV. So you have Jaworski breaking down a play immediately after it happened, then you have Kornheiser adding, "Aww, c'mon Jaws, you're just saying that because you're rooting for the Eagles".

The third quarter of last night's game was basically unwatchable with Kornheiser and Charles Barkley making the same three points for forty five minutes; McNabb and Reid don't get a fair shake, Philadelphia fans are brutal, the Eagles wide receivers have always been bad, save the TO year. It seemed like they told Jaworski to just sit that quarter out. Fortunately for me, Anthony Bourdain was in South Carolina eating BBQ, so it was an easy choice to flip over to The Travel Channel.

At some point the NFL has to step in and tell ESPN, "Listen, we appreciate you guys trying to bring more viewers to the broadcast, but we're the N F Friggin L. We are the most popular sport in the country, and it isn't even close. Just broadcast the game and people will watch it. You don't need to have a late night talk show in the booth during the third quarter. People are watching the game because they want to watch a football game. Also, fire Chris Berman while you are at it. He annoys us"

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Does anyone really believe that the Arizona Diamondbacks are going to make the playoffs?

IT WAS ONE GAME!

The latest and greatest in overreacting Philly sports writing garbage comes courtesy of Rich Hoffman in today's Daily News.

Hofmann takes a look at the Green Bay game last week and makes the assumption that McNabb's unimpressive performance means he could be washed up. That's a big statement to make after the amazingly small sample size of one frigging game. Also, it was one measly game against a team with a very good defense, who were playing at home. And Hoffman ignores the dropped passes by the Eagles receivers. Those are counted in McNabb's passing stats, you know.

Obviously McNabb is a step slower right now- for one thing, he's not 25 anymore. And he is also just coming off MAJOR RECONSTRUCTIVE SURGERY. Call me crazy, but this could be a reason he's not able to run around as well as he used to. It's pretty commonly believed than an ACL tear has a 2 year recovery period. So chances are we're not going to see a lot of leg magic out of McNabb this season. Boo hoo. But this hardly means he's washed up, or that he's going to have 15 more games like last Sunday's. I'm so tired of these doomsaying columnists who say the sky is falling when in reality it's just sagging a bit.

Donovan McNabb Did Not Spontaneously Combust

Much to the surprise of apparently many in the Philadelphia media and public, Donovan McNabb still knows how to play football. Reading the superlatives that people have used to describe McNabb's performance last night, one would tend to believe that McNabb was playing a first game since having a lobotomy or some sort of radical procedure in which doctors performed a dinosaur appendage transplant on him. Not an ACL injury. Newsflash: Knee surgery does not cause one of the best NFL Quarterbacks to forget how to take a five step drop and throw a 15 yard out. I really don't remember people freaking out about Carson Palmer last pre-season, at least not to the degree to which McNabb has endured for the past month. But for whatever reason, both the Philadelphia and the national media have always put this weird pressure on McNabb.

Also, when did it become the hip thing to refer to McNabb as "Five" or "Number 5" as opposed to his real name? For whatever reason, when I hear someone on television call him Five, it is like someone set off a firecracker inside my ear canal. God it bugs me. I guess this is part of being "Now". I'm really getting old.

Peter King is an Ass

Why he hates McNabb so much is beyond me. This is from his column today:

"I plan to win games every year I'm playing, and I plan on doing it here in Philadelphia. I'll be here in Philadelphia for years to come."

-- Donovan McNabb, with the hot breath of second-round quarterback Kevin Kolb breathing down his neck as the Eagles opened training-camp practice on Saturday.

What the hell is he even talking about? Kolb is breathing down his neck? He's going to be the #3 QB and is at least 3 years from being considered as the Eagles starting QB.

And that begins our Eagles preview.

Math At Work

This gem was printed today by the Philadelphia Inquirer in its Letters section:

Donovan McNabb has been injured four of the last five seasons at the end, including the injury in the championship game against Carolina everyone seems to overlook.

So statistically, there is an 80 percent chance he will not be there at the end of the 2007 season.

Wow.

Cracker Jack McCaffery Says Hello

His column today was a whole lot of nothing titled, "Birds moving closer to next quarterback". It is his typical garbage, filled with his own speculation and innuendo, but devoid of any real insight or actual facts that may support his opinions.

He was right at 24, and at 27 and at 29, and he could be right at 31, 32 and 33. But the Eagles have to prepare for that day when he is not - and for when patience will be the worst remedy, not the best.

Peyton Manning is 31. Tom Brady will be 30 this upcoming season. Do writers speculate the future at QB for the Colts and Pats? This is just typical gloom and doom from the Delaware County Times resident hack.