Ugh

Well. At least we're not fans of the Orioles. That is about the best thing I can say at this point.

FLASH... AHAHHH....second worst pitcher in the universe

FLASH... AHAHHHH... you pissed on all of us

Yeah, that's right; I'm claiming Tom Gordon is the second worst pitcher in the entire universe. Right next to Brett Myers. They should have their pensions revoked after what they did today.

NFL Preview

Back from the Labor Day camping trip, I now give you my NFL predictions, which will be rendered moot by injuries like they are every year and are basically pointless filler while I try to comprehend what the hell happened to the Phillies while I was living in nature for 4 days without any connection to the outside world-

NFC East
Eagles- 12-4
This is obviously hugely optimistic. But the division isn't that strong, and there's no reason to believe they won't be better than they were last season. They have one of the best offensive lines in football, a great QB who hopefully doesn't need a leg amputated this year, Brian Westbrook, good d-line depth, a very good secondary as long as Sean Considine learns to play football, and a punter from a country founded as a prison colony. The main concerns are the linebackers and the receiving corps, but we've all heard that before. Big things will and should be expected from this team in 2007.

Cowboys- 9-7
Giants- 7-9
Redskins- 7-9

NFC North
Bears- 10-6
The defense will actually go 10 and 0. Rex Grossman will go 0 and 6.
Vikings- 8-8
Packers- 7-9
Lions- 6-10

NFC South
Saints- 11-5
The 2007 Phillies of the NFL. Great offense, awful pitching, which in this case means linebackers and secondary.
Panthers- 10-6
Buccaneers- 8-8
Falcons- 2-14

NFC West
Seahawks- 10-6
49ers- 9-7
Rams- 8-8
The Rams seem to define mediocrity. If the Ram was a zodiac sign, and it may be actually, it would stand for "Averageness".
Cards- 4-12

Playoffs- Eagles, Bears, Saints, Seahawks, Panthers, 49ers
NFC Champs- Eagles

AFC East
Patriots- 13-3
The big story with them was adding Randy Moss. But the bigger story is actually them being confident enough to keep Richard Seymour in cryogenic suspension for the first 6 weeks of the season. This is a deep team. Barring Tom Brady getting hurt or quitting football to spend more time concentrating on getting all the choice tail he can, they will rampage through they league.
Jets- 9-7
Bills- 6-10
Dolphins 5-11

AFC North
Baltimore- 11-5
Bengals- 10-6
Steelers- 9-7
The potential lack of a running game is way more disconcerting than the potential of another Big Ben meltdown.
Cleveland- 8-8

AFC South-
Colts- 10-6
Jags- 8-8
What the hell is up with ditching Leftwich for a guy who would probably only be above average in the Arena League? It's no secret that Del Rio had it in for him, but it's going to cost them 2 or more wins.
Titans- 7-9
Texans- 4-12

AFC West-
Broncos- 11-5
Chargers- 8-8
Norv Turner. HAHAHAHAHA. Enjoy.
Chiefs- 6-10
Raiders- 3-13

Playoff teams- Patriots, Ravens, Colts, Broncos, Bengals, Steelers
AFC Champs- Patriots

And for the 5th straight year, my prediction is that the Eagles and Pats will face off in the Super Bowl, only this year, I predict the Eagles will prevail. Nah, just kidding. I pick the Patriots to win the whole thing.