The Legend of Willie Green

Just a short post to explain something- we love Willie Green around here, even though "around here" is not a real place. We will often talk about him, berate him, and use him in other ways as we see fit (the idea of him, not his physical person). So why Willie Green? Well, he's quite fascinating. In many ways, he represents the ineptitude of the Sixers, and also helps demonstrate why it can be so hard to talk sports with people in Philly (or anywhere).

Green is a guy who looked like he could eventually morph into a steal from the awesome 2002 draft. But instead of getting better, he's gotten worse every year, culminating with this season's amazing 10.7 PPG on 11.4 Shots Per Game. And he's also a guy who, after blowing out his knee, was rewarded by the Sixers' brilliant super GM from Planet Basketball, Sir Billy King, with a 4-year deal. At least King didn't go through with offering the still-stupid 6-year deal Green had originally agreed to before he decided to go dunk on a 6th grader in a pickup game.

Green is an awful shooter who takes tons of woeful shots, and who also lost a step after he jammed his kneecap into some 3rd graders skull in a playground game. But you know who still loves him? Tons of morons around here. They see his "energy" and "desire" as making up for his "terrible, terrible shooting" and "team-ruiningness". When awful shooters like Willie Green are supported, Don Imus wins.

So as the Sixers' season comes to an unfortunate close (they can't win shit, but they can't tank properly either), I'll miss having Willie Green to knock around. But I'll be ready for November, and this year I'll finally have my cats trained to hiss at the sight of him or mention of his name. Right now all they do is poop on the floor when Samuel Dalembert shoots from further than 7 feet out, as do I.