Adam Eaton's Phillies Career (2007-2008)

July 28, 2008 (BSB NEWS)- IN Philadelphia, righthander Adam Eaton's Phillies career was not-so-tragically ended today when it was designated for assignment to the team's minor league affiliate in Allentown, PA. It was 1 5/8 years old. Eaton's career originated with the Phillies organization in 1996, but was interrupted by several years of mediocrity in other cities.

His career is survived by the floundering careers of Brett Myers and Joe Blanton, the knife Adam Eaton once stabbed himself with once while opening a DVD package, and 3 grandchildren, none of whom can throw a decent fastball.

Adam Eaton

People and things that would do better as the Phillies' fifth starter rather than Adam Eaton will-

JD Durbin
Kris Benson, even with his girl first name
62 year old Dock Ellis and a shitload of LSD
The remains of Cory Lidle, if there were any
My cat Sammy
Casper the Friendly Ghost (real one, not the cartoon)
A batting practice machine on medium speed

Please, Adam, go on the DL. And then go away.

Friday Night Kites

I don't think any of the previous six games will ever show up as part of "This Week in Phillies History".

They went 1-5 for the week. And it was about as ugly a 1-5 performance as a team could put forth. While the offense was quite bad, scoring only 23 runs, it was the pitching that really took the cake. It takes a real team effort to allow 57 runs in six games. 57 runs!! And Adam Eaton was not even involved in any of the games.

The week was bookended by two of what are hopefully the final few outings of Jaime Moyer's career. Last Saturday he gave up 7 earned runs in 4 innings. He followed that up by giving up "only" 6 earned runs in 4 and 2/3 innings of awfulness tonight. In his first seven starts this year, Moyer had an ERA of 3.00 and it looked like he had gotten the Devil to add on one extra year on the deal they had made in 1998 for his soul. But alas, even the Devil cannot overcome Father Time. Since May 9, Moyer has seen his ERA jump to 5.16, which ranks him 43rd out of the 48 pitchers who have enough innings to qualify (Hey Adam Eaton, is that you still at the bottom of the list?). He has put up monthly ERAs of 6.75 in July and 7.27 in August. Not exactly a good trend.

If Moyer's old age was the only problem the Phillies' pitching staff had, there would probably be quite a few more people optimistic about their playoff chances. Fabio Castro obviously needs to learn what the strike zone is defined as before he tosses another pitch for the Phillies. Tom Gordon, shockingly, is out of gas. The clock seems to have struck midnight for both Alfonseca and Mesa. It is absolutely frightening when I see people looking forward to Eaton's return (FYI: Eaton's line for his "rehab" start for AA Reading - 2 IP, 3 H, 3 ER. Can't wait to see him back with the big club).

So what do the Phillies do now? Wait. Wait until the offseason and put forth a plan for the future of the franchise. It is time for the Phillies to stop with the one year patch ups and really start to build a team. Is Brett Myers a starter or a reliever? Are they comfortable with Michael Bourn and Shane Victorino in the same outfield? Will Ryan Howard's body hold up until he reaches free agency? If not, why bother discussing the idea of buying out his arbitration years? Will this team ever find someone to replace Scott Rolen?

It's late and I'm babbling. I just don't think that the current Phillies team is going to be able to weather the storm until Hamels comes back and Utley is truly healthy. At least it will allow a lot of people to dedicate all of their attention to the Eagles season.