Broad Street Bastards

Going Back In Time

2010-07-04T15:44:00.002-04:00

I think I'm about through with the 2010 version of the Phillies. Too many injuries, an old left fielder who is pretty much through, and an under performing first baseman whose contract is going to be an albatross for the Phillies for the next few years.

And not to say I told you so, but http://broadstreetbastards.blogspot.com/2008/12/myths-by-raul.html

Bring on the Kevin Kolb era

Ryan Howard is Rich

2010-04-26T20:08:00.004-04:00

In case you are a person that ignores mainstream media, underground media, alternative media, and the streets of Media and rely solely on the semi-annual updates of this blog for your Phillies news, let me be the one to tell you: Ryan Howard just robbed Citizen's Bank. The Phillies decided to give him a 5 year contract extension (note: Howard's current contract runs out after 2011) that is worth $125 Million and includes a $10 Million buyout after 2016.

Instead of getting my opinion on the contract, I called up my friends Point and Counterpoint to get their takes on the contract and engage them in a dialogue.

Point: Hey Cp, did you hear? The Phillies signed Ryan Howard to a 5 year deal. He's going to retire as a Phillie!

Counterpoint: And that's a good thing?

P: Ha, you're hilarious. Seriously, how is this contract a bad thing for the Phillies?

Cp: Well let's see. Ryan Howard will be 36 when this contract is over. They will be paying him $25 million a year in the last three years of the contract when he his performance will most likely be on the decline, possibly a steep one. Assuming their payroll is still around $125 million, the Phillies will allocating 20% of their budget for a first baseman on the bad side of 30.

P: That's it? But what about the homers.

Cp: You're right, he still hits homers. He'll most likely hit 40 plus home runs for the next few years and will reach 500 during the lifetime of the contract. But this isn't home run derby. His walk totals have gone down in the last four years, from 108 in 2006 to 75 in 2009. If you're hitting 40 home runs, it should be a piece of cake to get 100 BBs.

P: Eh, maybe, but he is still a feared hitter.

CP: Let's clarify that. Right handed pitchers fear him. The Alan Embrees of the world love seeing Howard step to the plate. He just can't hit left handed pitching any more. His performance has gone from good (.923 OPS in 2006) to average (.826 OPS in 2007) to bad (.746 OPS in 2008) to awful (.653 in 2009). This is an insanely scary trend, particularly as Howard ages and his bat speed slows down.

P: But the RIBBIES!!!

Cp: Have we gone back in time to 1986? The Phillies have the best offense in baseball. If he didn't drive in 120 runs a year, there would be something seriously wrong.

P: Won't it be great to see him retire as a Phillie?

Cp: I'm scared that by 2014, we'll all just want him to retire. Here are his Top 5 comparables at his age: Richie Sexson, Cecil Fielder, Mo Vaughn, Willie McCovey, and David Ortiz. Four of those guys didn't age well at all.

P: OK. So you don't like the contract.

Cp: You think?

P: What do you dislike more, the money or the years.

Cp: Both. Let's say the Phillies let Ryan Howard become a free agent in 2011. Does any team give him a contract even close to 5 years, $125 million? The Yankees have Texieria so they don't need a first baseman. The Red Sox will have figured out how to get Adrian Gonzalez by that point. The Cardinals will have to give a billion dollars to Pujols at the same time. So that leaves the Cubs, Dodgers, Mariners,and Angels as teams that would have the money to bid on Howard. Maybe Howard gets 4 years, $80 million from one of them, but no way he gets 5 years and $125 Million. AND THE PHILLIES WERE BIDDING AGAINST THEMSELVES.

P: But it's not your money.

Cp: You're right, it's not. But as a fan of the team, I don't want them spending this much of their payroll on a position that is easily replaceable when the money could be spent much smarter. This contract is going to be an albatross to the team in 2013-2016 and really kill their flexibility. You'd think they'd have learned from now.

P: I love you.

Well thanks guys for taking the time out of your busy lives and helping us out. We appreciate your service to this site and our country.

Pitch or Die: The Jamie Moyer Story

2010-04-17T22:26:00.002-04:00

I think Ruben Amaro is a pretty good General Manager. He sees that the current team has about another three year window, he understands the importance of a strong farm system, and he has a mancrush on Roy Halladay, like we all should. However, his Achilles Heel seems to be unending quest to give too many years to veteran players.

First, it was two years for Jamie Moyer's Cretaceous-era left arm, then it was three year contract for Raul Ibanez that will take him through his 39th birthday. And this past off-season it was three years for Placido Polanco. Fortunately for the Phillies, they have the flexibility with budget and minor league replacements that they can afford to make big mistakes like these. But it is still a disturbing trend.

I don't think I'd be going to far out on a limb to say that Moyer is cooked. He's obviously lasted longer than anyone could have ever imagined, and he should be applauded for his ability to be a major league pitcher into his late forties. But sending him out there every fifth day is basically telling the offense that they need to score a minimum of seven runs. No pressure.

So what can the Phillies do?

1. Release him and eat the $6-7 Million left on his contract. I don't think this will happen, particularly with the dearth of left handed relievers out there. Guys like Alan Embree and Eddie Guardado have kept their careers going just because of the arm they throw with, so they may be able to extract some return on their investment by putting him in the bullpen.

2. Kindly ask him to retire. Not a lot of incentive for Moyer to do this as the Phillies wouldn't have to pay him his cash, and his reaction to Pedro replacing him last year pretty much demonstrated that he's already become an old crank. Pretty much rule this one out.

3. Pitch Halladay every other day. I'm sure he could do it.

The good news is, the Phillies are good enough to keep running Moyer and Kendrick out there for a few more starts until Blanton is healthy and Pedro is ready to start pitching again. But until then, there are going to be some games that are difficult to watch.

In Depth World Series Preview

2009-10-28T17:56:00.002-04:00

New York Yankees? More like New York STANKees!!! Am I right?

Phillies in 3.

Three Quick Predictions About the Home Run Derby

2009-07-13T16:16:00.003-04:00

1. I won't watch it.

2. There will be a number of similar blogs tomorrow that complain about Chris Berman. They will be very similar to the day-after the HR Derby posts from 2008 and 2007.

3. ESPN will work Mike & Mike into the broadcast in a clever, hilarious way.

This is SOOOOO John Gonzalez

2009-07-13T07:47:00.001-04:00

From his column today:

Nice to have Entourage back

My Ears!

2009-05-13T19:37:00.002-04:00

I hate Rick Sutcliffe. He adds nothing to any broadcast that he is a part of (at least when he is sober). But to make life worse, ESPN's broadcast geniuses figure he will be easier to listen to when paired with Berman. I hate you ESPN. Why can't Yahoo start a sports network?

Take Me Back to 2008

2009-04-06T09:23:00.002-04:00

Phils lose. Hits would help.

Wish I could add more analysis of the game, but I didn't watch a pitch. In the past I could tolerate Jon Miller and Joe Morgan during ESPN games, though I would have to switch them off at times in order to cleanse my listening pallette. But the addition of Steve Phillips to the broadcast is too much for me to tolerate. So no Sunday night games for this guy. I'll try and catch them on Tuesday. CATCH THEM GET IT!!

Welcome Back

2009-04-04T11:15:00.004-04:00

We are back from resting season. At least I am. Jim still may be on the streets of New York looking for his mp3 player.

So what have we missed? Someone, most likely Adam Eaton, slipped some Krytonite into Cole Hamels' Campbell's Soup. This probably had something to do with Eaton being released (that and the fact that he is a terrible pitcher). Geoff Jenkins also got the boot so the Phillies could flirt with Gary Sheffield. Chan Ho Park will be in the Phillies starting rotation which would be exciting news if it was 2000. Other than that, it was a pretty quiet Spring in Clearwater.

Here are some quick predictions by yours truly:

Ryan Howard will finally get off to a hot start. He'll have 30 home runs by the All Star Break.

Chase Utley will struggle early because he came back too soon from his crazy hip surgery. I don't think I'm going out on too far of a limb with this one.

Brad Lidge will blow a save. In fact, he may blow two.

Pedro Feliz will cause me to consider throwing my laptop into the middle of the street.

Shane Victorino will post a .700 OPS, which will cause the Phillies to make a move for another outfielder.

The Phillies will end up winning 88 games, which will be good enough for the Wild Card. Unfortunately, the Mets will win the Division.

NL Predictions:
East: Mets
Central: Cubs
West: Diamondbacks
WC: Phillies
NL Winner: Diamondbacks
MVP other than Pujols: Prince Fielder
Cy Young: Johan Santana

AL Predictions:
East: Red Sox
Central: White Sox
West: Angels
WC: Rays
AL Winner: Red Sox
MVP: Grady Sizemore
Cy Young: Jon Lester

Unfortunately for most of us, the Red Sox will win the World Series.

Raul Ibanez might not be the player that Pat Burrell was, but he is definitely a much better actor.

Myths by Raul

2008-12-14T19:10:00.002-05:00

There are numerous people in the Philadelphia area who were overjoyed at the news of the Phillies signing Raul Ibanez, meaning the door has shut on the Pat Burrell era. I have issues with the signing, particularly the general idea of signing a 37 year old to a three year contract. That said, I think he will be an adequate replacement for Burrell in 2009.

That said, I strongly disagree with a lot of the hyperbole that has been thrown out by those who support the Ibanez deal. Such as......

Myth #1 - Raul Ibanez is a better hitter against left-handed pitching than Pat Burrell is.

In 2008, Ibanez had a career year hitting against left handers, putting up an OPS of .866. But every other year prior to '08, Ibanez had never even cracked .800 OPS against lefties. For his career, Ibanez is .268/.322/.411 against lefties. I would not be as concerned about these numbers if every lefthander over the age of 14 had not already figured out how to pitch to Ryan Howard.

Myth #2 - Raul Ibanez is a better hitter than Pat Burrell

If the year was 1983 and all we had were the back of baseball cards to argue with, then I would agree that with this Myth. But it isn't 1983, and only dopes use batting average and RBI to measure a hitter's production. In the last three years, Burrell has had an OPS+ of 122, 127, and 125. Ibanez has had OPS+ of 125, 121, 124. That is about as close as you can get in comparing two players over a three season span.

Myth #3 - Raul Ibanez is more consistent than Pat Burrell

I guess this comes down to your definition of consistency. People always would dwell on Burrell's hot and cold streaks, but just ignore the months where he put up numbers similar to his career stats. In 2008, both Burrell and Ibanez had two months with OPS under .800 and one month over 1.100. Same in 2007. Both players typically put up the same numbers on an annual basis. That is my definition of consistency.

Myth #4 - Raul Ibanez is less likely to decline than Pat Burrell

I am not a doctor and I haven't seen their medical records. But I have a difficult time believing that a 37 year old baseball player playing everyday does not present an injury risk, regardless of what great shape he is in. Getting old sucks.

Myth #5 - Losing a first round draft pick is not a big deal

This is an insane idea. And not only will the Phillies forfeit their first round pick by signing Ibanez, they also will not receive any compensation picks for Burrell because they did not offer him arbitration. Unless the Phillies plan on using that money to spend over slot for their additional picks, losing a first round draft pick is never a good idea.

I'm tired of typing. Type to listen to Barney Frank mumble and rumble. Welcome back us.

I'm already done enjoying it

2008-10-30T11:30:00.003-04:00

Our self imposed ban during the playoffs is over. Let's get back to making fun of stuff.

Bill Conlin is a sap

TWENTY-EIGHT years vanished in the heartbeat it took for Brad Lidge to deliver one final, unhittable slider to Phillies catcher Carlos Ruiz. Then, 1980 was suddenly 2008 and it was Lidge, not Tug McGraw, leaping joyously into the gelid South Philly air, and waiting for an avalanche of whooping teammates to engulf him. Brad sank to his knees in a spread-eagle prayer, beckoning toward Ruiz, who leaped into his arms.

I realize that times are tough for newspapers, but seriously Bill, this is no way to advertise your services to romance novel publishers. Send them a manuscript and they will get back to you. That is how it has always been done.

In what could be his final at-bat of the Phillies career he resuscitated with solid 2007-8 seasons, Pat Burrell began the eighth with a double to deep center that just missed leaving the Bank.

Pat Burrell's splits:
'05: .281/.389/.504
'06: .258/.388/.502
'07: .255/.400/.502
'08: .250/.367/.507

THESE ARE PRACTICALLY THE SAME. I don't understand this notion that Burrell became a different hitter the last two years.

History will record that Pedro Feliz, brilliant on defense all year but an offensive disappointment, drove in the winning run with a single to center off soft-tossing submariner Chad Bradford.

What was Conlin expecting of Pedro Feliz? That at age 33 he would suddenly turn into a different hitter, one that was patient at the plate? He did exactly as he was expected to. I expected something along the lines of .250/.300/.420 and he ended up a little short in the SLG department. Players don't suddenly get better at age 33, at least not in the post steroids era.

Lidge did not have his best stuff.

then

His drop-dead slider has had nastier bite. His fastball has had more late life.

Maybe Conlin was delirious when he sent his column in, which explains the obvious contradiction. And we know that the Inquirer and Daily News does not spend money on a sports editor.

Oh and congratulations to the Phillies. But I don't congratulate fans because you didn't do anything. Now don't burn the city down. Just Willie Green's house.

Oh Well

2008-09-09T20:02:00.000-04:00

Don't Blame Us, We'll Blame You

2008 NFL Predicitons

2008-09-03T21:46:00.003-04:00

Because it'd be silly to share my 2018 NFL predictions, although I do have them ready (hint: the Raiders will be better), here they are for 2008.

On a sadder note, I can't access this damn blog from work any longer thanks to a new web blocking program which would make the North Korean government jealous, so I am trying to post at night. I haven't been around at night though, which makes that very difficult. Blargh, who cares, right? On to the picks-

NFC East-
Cowboys
Eagles
Giants
Redskins

NFC North-
Vikings
Bears
Packers
Lions

NFC South-
Panthers
Saints
Bucs
Falcons

NFC West-
Seahawks
Who gives a shit?

Wild Cards- Eagles and Saints

AFC East-
Pats
Bills
Jets
Fins

AFC North-
Browns
Steelers
Bengals
Ravens

AFC South-
Jags
Colts
Texans
Titans

AFC West-
Chargers
Chiefs
Broncos
Raiders

Wild Cards- Colts and Bills

NFC Champs- Vikings
AFC Champs- Chargers

SB Champs- Chargers, thus ending the universe (see the Norv Turner Theory of Heat Death)

No Country for a Crappy Team Like Washington

2008-08-21T08:47:00.003-04:00

Wow, how about that Brett Myers? With the exception of his first game back from his banishment to the minors, he has been outstanding. He now has a better ERA than Kyle Kendrick, which means everyone should be turning on Kyle very shortly. In other pitching pariah news, Adam Eaton gave up 6 runs in 6 IP last night in Reading because he sucks.

Speaking of turning on people, this whole Jimmy Rollins thing is ridiculous. A year ago, he was the most popular athlete in the city after his boasting about the Phils being the team to beat and his MVP-like performance. This year, he may as well be a DHS employee running a dog fighting ring out of a crack house. Part of that is his performance, which has been subpar. And his comment about Philly fans being front runners is still pissing people off even though it is TRUE. Just the fact that there was and still is such an uproar over his comments only serves to help prove what a bunch of over-emotional whiners and doomsayers Philly fans can be. And yes, I include myself in that.

You want it, you got it

2008-08-19T10:41:00.004-04:00

Charlie Manuel on the Phillies offensive problems-

"I'm puzzled by it," he said. "I'm open for suggestions. I'll listen to what anybody's got to say. Fans. Cab drivers. President Bush. Anybody."

Well, Charles, here are a few suggestions for an offense that has gone .202/.303/.351 for the month of August-

1. Stop batting Jimmy Rollins leadoff.

In his last 8 games, Jimmy "Boo Berry" Rollins has an overall OBP of .167. His OBP for the season leading off the game or an inning is .243. It's hard to set the table well when the silverware is tarnished and the dinner plates are moldy and disgusting. The solution here is simple- try Shane Victorino. He has a career .347 OBP when leading off a game or inning, which is not great but is a huge improvement over Jimmy, who has never been great as a leadoff hitter; sadly, other than last season, he hasn't been great batting in any other slot either.

2. Ryan Howard should not be batting cleanup vs. lefties.

Even batting him 7th would be questionable this season. He has a career OPS vs. LHP of .744. This year, it's a robust .587. Lefties have learned that if they have any kind of decent breaking ball, Howard is an easy out.

3. The Geoff Jenkins experiment has failed.

He was supposed to be a RHP hitting specialist, but the only thing he has specialized in this year is making outs. He has a .724 OPS vs. RHP this year, and has been atrocious since August 6th, although he's hardly alone in that. Jayson Werth hits both lefties and righties better than Jenkins at this point.

4. Try batting Burrell 2nd, or 3rd or 4th (especially vs. LHP,) more often.

Ryan Howard isn't protecting him anymore, and there's no one below him in the order to drive him in when he walks, which is often. Look, Burrell is not going to be a 140 RBI a year guy. But he is a guy with a great knack for getting on base. Use that to your advantage rather than watching the Jenkins/Feliz/Bruntlett/Coste/Ruiz/Dobbs casserole continually struggle to get him home.

5. Get on their asses.

Look, there is something seriously wrong here. No sane, enlightened person would have believed that this team would rank 5th in ERA and 4th in runs per game at August 19th, but here they are. You're the manager Charlie. Act like it.

Here are starting lineups Charlie should consider. They may seem a little wild, but hopefully they are better than President Bush's suggestions-

vs. RHP
1. Victorino
2. Burrell
3. Utley
4. Howard
5. Rollins
6. Werth/Jenkins
7. Feliz
8. Ruiz

vs. LHP
1. Victorino
2. Utley
3. Werth
4. Burrell
5. Rollins
6. Feliz
7. Howard
8. Ruiz/Coste

Theo Ratliff is back

2008-08-19T09:02:00.003-04:00

Ah, a return to the glory days of early summer 2001. When men were men, no one thought Muslim terrorists would do something as crazy as crash hijacked planes into buildings, and the Sixers were playing for the NBA championship with a lineup of Allen Iverson plus 11 other guys, one of whom was Theo Ratliff.

Ratliff signed a 1-year deal with the Sixers yesterday in a move to add big man depth. With Jason Smith on the DL for an extended stay and Marreese Speights being a rookie, they needed someone to strengthen the middle. And as a bonus perhaps he can act as a mentor to young Marreese, teaching him the fine but possibly unteachable art of blocking a ton of shots.

The problem with the signing (and of course there is one) is that Ratliff is as fragile as a Russia/Georgia peace agreement. He's only played 28 games over the past 2 years. Amazingly, he's only played 705 games in his 13 year career, and never played more than 57 in any of his 3 seasons with the Sixers. If he goes down early in the year, or is just so rusty that he's ineffective, then the whole signing will be for naught. But the hope is that he can recapture some of the magic that helped make the 2000-2001 Sixers one of the most improbable championship contenders of my lifetime.

More Stuff about More Things

2008-08-15T12:08:00.002-04:00

Jimmy Rollins Hates You

Or at least thinks that you are a frontrunner, whatever the sam heck that means. By saying this on The Best Damn Sports Show on TV That You'll Ever See and You're Lucky You Get To See It So Shut Up and Listen, he apparently enraged a majority of Phillies fans. Honestly, when you start taking yourself seriously as a "fan", it is time for you to step back and re-prioritize what is important in your life. Who gives a shit what Jimmy Rollins thinks about the fans? He has a right to his opinion just like I have a right to my opinion that Rollins had a career year in '07 and will most likely never put up those numbers again. If this comment really has you hot and bothered, put the phone down, turn your radio off, and pick up a book. Not a magazine, but a book. Open it up and read it. You will thank me later.

Andre Igoudala Is 8% Closer to Being a Billionaire

The Sixers have opened the bank this offseason, giving out almost $200 Million in contracts. Hopefully this professional basketball league thing takes off so they can afford to pay these guys. Is it a lot of scratch for Iguodala? Yes and the Sixers most likely overpaid, especially since they were bidding against themselves. But in the end, it most likely won't matter if they are paying him $60 million or $80 million for the next six years because they are going to be over the salary cap anyways with Brand, Dalembert, Williams, and TYoung. That is your Sixers core for the next five years and hopefully Speights as well. Hoo rah Ed Stefanski. Hoo rah indeed.

The Sixers Will Play One Final Game At the Spectrum

And if you get a ticket before I do, I will punch you in the foot. I must go to this game.

It's Not Always Sunny in Philadelphia

I turned on FOX last night at like 7:45 Lucky People Time, expecting to see exciting Eagles/Panthers action, but to my chagring fourth graders were answering trivia questiong. I guess Lightning is a Jeff Foxworth fan (and who can blame him). Once they started playing, I didn't really pay much attention because most of the good players were just doing their best not to get hurt. I do still hate Joe Buck, though.

Stuff about things

2008-08-12T10:02:00.005-04:00

Regarding Kyle Kendrick BS- as usual, we were right and everyone else on this big blue marble we call earth was completely and utterly wrong.

Other Phillies garbage- Ryan Howard went 0-5 last night in the Phillies 8-6 loss. Everyone thought a month ago that Howard had returned to his normal form, but his numbers since then have been pretty nonformical- 24 games, .242/.308/.389, with just 4 HR and 2 doubles. And those awful errors. At least Utley seems to be putting himself back in MVP contention.

Eagles crap- good job by the Birds on making Brian Westbrook a happy camper (GET IT?) without mortgaging the team's future financial flexibility. Even though the deal looks a little long at first glance, its structure makes it easier to part with Westbrook should he prove to be like 80% of other NFL running backs and becomes ineffective as a runner by age 31.

Olympics hoohah- UPDATE- Beating Angola by 21 points is wholly unimpressive. The US men's team is now just 12 for 45 from 3-point range in 2 games. They needed better outside shooting and defense than 2004 and it looks like they didn't do a good job of getting it. China and Angola were their two easiest games.

India won its first ever gold medal yesterday in Men's shooting, which unbelievably is not dominated by the US. Maybe if the targets were human we'd do better. Anyway, there are 1 billion people in India, and this is the first time any one of them has been the best in the world at any Olympic sport. Get out of the call centers and onto the practice fields and into the pools, India. Your country needs you.

Michael Phelps' training includes eating 8,000-10,000 calories per day. The only downside is he has to swim a lot.

Best discovery of the Olympics so far- this hot Chinese beach volleyball player, Xue Chen-

Selling High

2008-08-06T22:27:00.004-04:00

No, I am not talking about daytrading while under the influence. I be talking about Kyle Kendrick.

Kendrick's line tonight: 6 IP, 4 H, 5 BB, 4 K

If I were given solely those numbers, I would guess that he gave up three runs. Maybe he gets lucky and only gives up a run, maybe one of those two of those hits are three-run home runs. But a shutout? Seriously? It is like any sense of rationale baseball projections are thrown out when he gets on the mound.

Kendrick's record is now 10-5 and he sports a 4.37 ERA. At the beginning of the season I figured MLB hitters would figure him out and he would not repeat his success of 2007. While his ERA is higher than last year, his winning percentage is essentially the same. AND THIS BLOWS MY MIND. Pitchers that give up over a hit an inning, post a WHIP around 1.50, and don't strike anyone out should not win two out of three decisions, unless they are members of the pre-humidor Rockies. There is only one explanation for his success: luck.

All of this factors into my early campaign to convince the Phillies to sell high on Kyle Kendrick this offseason. Assuming he doesn't implode in the last two months of the season, Kendrick will most likely finish with 13-15 wins. There are plenty of GMs in baseball that are dumb enough to get hung up on his win total and completely ignore his peripherals. These are the teams that Gamarobuckle (soon to be Arbuckamaro?) should take advantage of. Kendrick's luck is eventually going to run out and it would obviously benefit the Phillies to move him before he literally turns into a pumpkin. Of course the Phillies have never been accused of this type of forward thinking and will probably end up buying him out of his arbitration years and his first two years of free agency. And overpay to do so.

Steve Jeltz and other such men

2008-08-06T12:18:00.005-04:00

Even to a 7 year old, it was pretty obvious that Steve Jeltz was one of the worst everyday players in baseball. An average fielder (on his good days), Jeltz was spectacularly bad at the plate. A switch-hitter, he gained no advantage from hitting from either side of the plate. He hit just 1 home run in his first 5 seasons (1,726 plate appearances) as a Phillie. He had a career batting average of .210 and was just 18 of 28 stealing bases for his career. Only 4 players since 1920 have more than 2000 career PA and a career SLG lower than Jeltz (.268), including the immortal Rafael Belliard. Amazing to think he once homered twice in one game (from both sides of the plate) since he was roughly as powerful as a sleeping toddler.

But looking over his numbers again, there is something surprising- Jeltzy took walks. Why would you ever throw the guy a ball? But he had a career OBP of .308- not impressive until you consider the .210 career BA. He actually averaged 55 BB per 162 games played, which is amazing when you consider he had almost zero ability with the bat. His career OPS+ gets a little boost from his inexplicable ability to draw walks. In fact, he's not even the worst Phillie in this category. Here, for fun, is a list of the 8 all-time worst Phillies hitters since 1930 as ranked by OPS+ (minimum 1500 PA as a Phillie). Obviously, it's shortstop heavy-

1. Bobby Wine- 59
I know he was a Gold Glove winning SS, but was his defense good enough to make up for this? I'll go find a crazed old man to ask.

2. Steve Jeltz- 64
Jeltz certainly did not play defense well enough to make up for this.

3. Denny Doyle- 66
Another defensive specialist, but at 2B. He became a better hitter after he left the Phillies in 1974. Shocking, I know.

4. Kevin Jordan- 68
This one mildly shocked me. I remember him as a being a pretty good hitting utility infielder. But he racked disciprine at the plate (I have permission from my girlfriend to mock Asian pronunciation).

5. Larry Bowa- 72
Picked up where Bobby Wine left off. Easily leads this list with over 7,000 PA as a Phillie and in Gold Gloves with 2. Fortunately for his nephew, he did not impart the secret knowledge of how to swing at the first pitch 90% of the time.

6. Ruben Amaro, Sr.- 74
The Bobby Wine of the Amaro family. Even platooned with Wine and still won a GG.

7. Ivan de Jesus- 78
Only played 3 years for the Phillies. Could hit a bit and took some walks, just had zero power. Traded by the Cubs for Larry Bowa and some prospect. And as we all know, that prospect was Julio Franco. Wait, wrong one. JD Drew. Nope. Peter Forsberg. Wrong sport. Ah, Ryne Sandberg.

8. Doug Glanville- 79
The worst non-infielder on the list. Hey, remember when he hit .325 that one year? Most of his years were nothing fucking like that. At least he could run. There is a theory that he was the prototype for Juan Pierre.

Honorable mention- Marlon Anderson (80), David Bell (84), Clay Dalrymple (84), Charlie Hayes (85), Kevin Stocker (85)

We're Not Alone

2008-08-04T16:33:00.005-04:00

Kelly Dwyer at Ball Don't Lie speculating on a possible trade of Andre Iguodala and Willie Green to the Mavs for Josh Howard:

Philly gets a smoother shooter who can create, defend, and knows how to contribute when the looks aren't there, or the looks aren't falling. Better yet, at two more years for 20 million and then a team option for 11 more, the 76ers stay in contract control. Also, Willie Green stinks.

As our tens of loyal readers are aware, Jim and I have been making the case for years that Willie Green stinks (refreshers can be found here, here, here, here......you get the point).

Only downside to this article is that it how now replaced the greatest blog on the Internet about Philadelphia sports that is run by two old friends as the #1 result in Google when you search for "Willie Green stinks". That is the price of being right I guess.

The trade deadline- the Phillies do nothing.

2008-07-31T16:29:00.004-04:00

Deadline's come and gone, and the Phils did nothing. Mark will be posting a retraction and apology for the Ron Mahay story as soon as Ed Wade becomes a good GM (seriously, LaTroy Hawkins?) or Exxon Mobil opens a wind farm.

I'm thinking of a word that rhymes with bunt...

2008-07-31T09:16:00.003-04:00

Hearing Tom McCarthy and Sarge Matthews debate in the top of the 5th whether Jimmy Rollins, leadoff hitter and reigning NL MVP, should be given the green light to bunt with no one out, the 45-year old pitcher on first, and a man on second was enough to nearly make my TV commit seppoku. It was the 5th inning with the lineup turning over in a 1 run game against the worst team in baseball, possibly including Rookie and low-A ball. And you want to give up an out to maybe score one run. You're that scared of a double play ball? With a guy who has an OPS of 1.001 with runners on this season? Arrrrrgh.

Bunting still has it's place in baseball and in flag making. But there are too many situations where bunts are uncalled for and yet they end up being called for by the manager, fans, and announcers. Excessive bunting is a great strategy for teams that like to lose by one run. For more, here is an interesting blog post by Larry Dierker.

Ron Mahay and Oranges

2008-07-29T13:04:00.005-04:00

EDIT: The Phillies may not have made this trade, but I don't like to remove the Internet. So my eagerness to bash the Phillies remains!!!

Say you have a grove of orange trees. And you have this one young orange tree that has some pretty good, but not great, oranges on it and it appears that that orange tree will produce good oranges for a lot of years to come. A lot of people would love to have a young orange tree like this that will give them delicious oranges for years to come. Now while you enjoy eating oranges, you have already have two great orange trees (though one of the orange trees has a problem being on time) that you use for your personal orange supply. It is unlikely that any of the oranges from this young tree will ever end up in your kitchen. Therefore, you decide to barter the orange tree to get something else that will please your palette. Maybe you get a great tomato plant or you try to couple that orange tree with a few other trees in your grove to get the best meal of your life.

Well, the Phillies just handed that orange tree over to the Royals and got an old hot dog. Welcome to Philadelphia, Ron Mahay.

We got a Rush brother!

2008-07-29T10:20:00.006-04:00

And it's not JaRon! Kareem Rush signed with the Sixers yesterday. This is exciting stuff. While the Brand signing was obviously bigger than Jupiter and Saturn smashed together, these smaller, Kuiper Belt-sized object Rush and Royal Ivey signings are extremely important to the team too. Rush brings the outside shooting they need in a package that is much like Kyle Korver without his invisible leg irons attached. He's not a very good defender, but as long as he makes them 3's, it's a-okay.

The eventual rotation is looking like Andre Miller, Iggy, TYoung, Brand, and Dalembert starting, with Lou Williams, Royal Ivey, Rush, Jason Smith, and Marresssseeeee Speights backing up. That is a solid group of basketball gentlemen. And it obviously leaves 2 names out.

Willie Green and Reggie Evans are the square pegs (yes, like the old Sarah Jessica Parker show) here. With Rush and Ivey being signed to play on the perimeter, and with Lou Williams being groomed to move into a starting role eventually, it's hard to see Willie getting the 25 minutes a night he's accustomed to. And as hard as it is to admit, Willie was actually okay last year. He won't be kept around though if it means keeping him on the end of the bench. Perhaps they'll get him enough minutes at the 2, but it looks doubtful. A lot of it will depend on how much they believe Ivey can contribute. And of course if Iguodala is completely ineffective as a SG or they decide that it's worth keeping him as their SF, thus unwisely taking minutes away from Thaddeus Young, most of this analysis is worthless. Worthless analysis- always available from your Broad Street Bastards.

Reggie Evans got 23 minutes per game last year, which is about 10 minutes per game too much. He's great as a rebounder and a guy with a beard, but that is all. Perhaps they'll keep him in the rotation until Speights is ready, but his longer-term prospects with the Sixers are pretty dim.

Adam Eaton's Phillies Career (2007-2008)

2008-07-28T15:13:00.006-04:00

July 28, 2008 (BSB NEWS)- IN Philadelphia, righthander Adam Eaton's Phillies career was not-so-tragically ended today when it was designated for assignment to the team's minor league affiliate in Allentown, PA. It was 1 5/8 years old. Eaton's career originated with the Phillies organization in 1996, but was interrupted by several years of mediocrity in other cities.

His career is survived by the floundering careers of Brett Myers and Joe Blanton, the knife Adam Eaton once stabbed himself with once while opening a DVD package, and 3 grandchildren, none of whom can throw a decent fastball.

Runs

2008-07-26T09:35:00.004-04:00

This is a little known fact about the sport of baseball: In order to be successful, you typically have to score more runs than your opponents. When you achieve that objective, you receive more wins than losses and everyone goes to work the next day with a smile on their faces.

The Phillies used to be good at scoring runs. That was the thing that they did well. But apparently, that skill has gone away. Since June 17, the Phillies have averaged 3.77 runs per game. As a result, their record is 12-19 in that time span. Unless you have the 1992 Atlanta Braves pitching staff, it is going to be very difficult to rack up wins scoring signficantly less than 4 runs per game. Not surprisingly, also in that time span their team OPS is a pitiful .701.

I blame essentially everyone on the team not named Pat Burrell. Baseball is a game of ups and downs, but this is a Perfect Storm of everyone on the team being cold at the same time. Here are the individual OPS' in that time frame:

"Go-Go" Jimmy Rollins: .669 (69!!!!)
Shane "Killer" Victorino: .793
Chase "Margaritaville" Utley: .724
Ryan "Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun" Howard: .844
Pat "Girlicious" Burrell: .853
Geoff "No One Even Wants to Sponsor My Baseball Reference Page" Jenkins: .599
Jayson "Puffy Stickers" Werth: .807
Pedro "Garlic Parmesan" Feliz: .736
Carlos "Too Shitty To Even Be Given a Nickname" Ruiz: .454 (Including a .145 SLG)

It is frustrating to watch these guys continue to put 0's on the scoreboard. But I am hopeful that this offensive malaise will end shortly. Because that is what optimists do. That and score tons of chicks.

--------------------

Mike Hampton pitches for the Bravos todays against the Phils. Unfortunately, the game won't be on TV here in Chicago (Who doesn't want to watch another Yankees-Red Sox game? THANKS FOX!!!!), so I won't be able to witness first hand the first time a pitcher's arm literally falls off his body during a baseball game. But knowing Hampton's desire to pitch, he will probably pick it up, goto HUP and get it sewn back on, then pitch again in MLB in like three years.

Phaiku

2008-07-24T23:12:00.000-04:00

Training camp is here
Westbrook is your MVP
God I hate the Mets

Lifespans of the Rich and Famous- Running Back Career Edition

2008-07-22T09:52:00.008-04:00

NFL contract details are a bit much to digest. There's all this talk of guaranteed money, salary caps, paternity suit allowances, performance bonii, etc. But when Brian Westbrook, the soon to be 29 year old Pro Bowl, All-Pro, All-American, Al-Jazeera star of the Eagles' backfield, and his new agent Scrooge McDuck decide they want $30 million in guaranteed money in a 5 year deal, it's easy to see that this is not rational or sensical.

Westbrook is indeed the key to the Eagles offense. He is to it as Cole Hamels+Brad Lidge+Chase Utley (aka Cobrase Utlidels) is to the Phillies. He's that damn good. According to Football Outsiders, he was the second most valuable RB in the NFL last year, just a smidgen behind LaDanian Tomlinson. He ranked a very strong seventh in 2006. And yet within 3 years (at most), chances are he'll be washed up.

Such is life as an NFL running back. According to super-scientific research done by those same Football Outsiders and others, no other position on the field suffers as much from age and injuries. By age 30, most running backs, even the ones who still have their original knees, are running full speed into the imminent retirement wall, which has a nice mural of Marshall Faulk, Earl Campbell, Terrell Davis, and Roger Craig playing shuffleboard painted on it. Westbrook turns 29 on September 4th. Odds are that by Sept. 4, 2010 he'll be on his way out of the NFL.

Obviously he can avoid this probability. Fred Taylor seems to have gotten over his early career injury problems and is better than ever at age 32. Curtis Martin played well until age 78. Emmitt Smith was only mildly embarrassing as a player after 30, and nowhere near as embarrassing as he is as a commentator. He should get public speaking lessons from his step-daughter's bio-dad, Martin Lawrence. Outrageous things he would say! Anyway, the peculiar thing about probability is that when things are probable, they probably happen. And there is a probable probability that he's only got 2 or maybe 3 good seasons left. Certainly not 5.

There are things working to Westbrook's advantage. He was underused as a runner for the first 4 years of his career, so he doesn't have the mileage of several of the 30 year old washouts. Also he now wears a gypsy shrunken head charm that protects his knees. It's worked pretty well the past 2 years.

Westbrook does deserve a big pay check for the next 2 years. Anything longer and there's a good chance (yes, it is a chance, not a certainty) it will cripple the team after he breaks down. As a business, they always should pay for the performance they're expecting, not just the performance they've gotten. Perhaps they could compromise and offer something like 3 years, $20 million guaranteed. That seems like a fair deal (to me anyway, since I only make $5 million a year and know how hard it is), and would not only make him extremely highly paid for his position but would also prevent the Eagles from over-investing in Westbrook; not neccessarily in money, but in time.

Stop The Madness!

2008-07-21T12:27:00.003-04:00

The Matt Holliday trade talk will not go away. So one more time, here is the case against trading Shane Victorino, Carlos Carrasco, JA Happ, and Lou Marson for a package of the possibly overrated Holliday and pitcher Brian Fuentes, who actually is a pretty awesome reliever but will be a free agent after this season.

Holliday's overall career numbers-
642 games, .321/.385/.556, 119 HR, 450 RBI (for those who deeply care about RBI)

Career HOME numbers AGAIN-
331 games, .363/.426/.659, 80 HR, 289 RBI

Career AWAY numbers-
311 games, .277/.341/.449, 39 HR, 161 RBI

Holliday at CBP-
a very small sample size of 59 PA, .283/.356/.547, 4 HR

For argument's sake, let us pretend that those last numbers actually approximate what he would put up for the Phillies (an OPS of .900 or so). That would still be pretty darn good, and way better than his current career numbers outside of Coors Field. Even then, it is questionable whether it is worth further gutting the farm system by giving away the guy who projects to be the Phillies No. 2 starter by 2010 (Carrasco, not Happ), a good catching prospect for a team that desperately needs a catcher, and a starter whose minor league performance shows that he may actually be better than the guy who projects to be the No. 2 starter in 2010 (this is Happ). And while Victorino may be a fan favorite because he's fast and people are led to believe he wears a hula skirt and eats poi in the clubhouse, he is actually expendable. Sorry, Spam lovers.

There is another issue with Holliday, albeit a smaller one- where does he play? The guy has only played LF his entire career, and that's where Man Machine Burrell lives. Obviously, if they do acquire Holliday they can always put him in RF and move him back to LF when the cheap-ass Phillies don't re-sign Burrell after this season's crushing playoff defeat. But what about the remainder of this year? Moving Holliday from LF to RF isn't like moving Ryan Howard to SS, but it would force him to perform in an unnatural position, which is fine for pornography, sure. But in baseball, not so good.

It's become obvious they need some help on offense. And since the Phils won't do simple things like STOP BATTING JIMMY ROLLINS LEADOFF or STOP PULLING BURRELL FROM EVERY CLOSE GAME or GO BACK IN TIME AND RE-SIGN AARON ROWAND, they probably do need to acquire another bat to make up for the damage that Geoff Jenkins, Pedro Feliz, and Carlos Ruiz cause to the offense. And that player will likely have to come in the form of an outfielder. The questionable call here is whether Holliday is the bat they need and whether the cost for his services is too high. As the supposed deal on the table is structured now, it probably is.

75 Words on the Blanton Deal

2008-07-17T22:45:00.004-04:00

When you deal your organization's top positional prospect, the return has to be better than Joe Blanton. At his best, Blanton is a 2/3 who will "eat innings" but still doesn't strike a lot of guys out. At his worst, he is a slight upgrade over Adam Eaton. His career road ERA of 4.78 is frightening. And there was no reason to throw in Outman as well. Thanks Pat Gillick and enjoy retirement.

The Zo Spin Zone

2008-07-17T19:40:00.002-04:00

From Todd Zolecki's blog regarding the Joe Blanton deal (which reads a lot like an employee of the Phillies wrote):

Take away his four worst starts this season and he has a 3.58 ERA,

This is what we refer to as "cherrypicking". When you have a sample size of 200 starts, maybe you can point to four starts as an aberration. When you have a sample size of 20 starts, pulling out four starts equates to 20% of Blanton's performance. Would you justify a batter's first half performance by removing 60 at bats? Of course not. So why do it with a pitcher?

But if you're going to play this game, you can look at it from a lot of different angles.

Take away Joe Blanton's four best starts this season and he has a 5.82 ERA.

Take away Adam Eaton's four worst starts this season and he has a 4.15 ERA.

Take away Cole Hamels' four worst starts this season and he has a 2.10 ERA.

THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T REMOVE 20% OF YOUR SAMPLE SIZE.

I liked the pun I used for the title.

2008-07-17T10:56:00.004-04:00

David Murphy on Matt Holliday in the DN today-

Matt Holliday, outfielder Colorado- We won't bore you with the stats. OK, yes, we will: .337 batting average, .421 on-base percentage, 14 home runs, 51 RBI. Holliday is a stud.

I'd like to make a correction to his statement that Holliday is some sort of male horse who breeds with female horses- Holliday is a stud ONLY AT COORS FIELD. For his career, he has an impressive Home OPS of 1.086, but a pedestrian Away OPS of .790. Sure, a little bit of that can be blamed on the fact that he has to play a lot of away games at Petco Park and Dodger Stadium, but those splits show his overall stats are more a product of the thin Colorado air rather than massive studliness.

And this goes on throughout their lineup- Todd Helton has a career Home OPS of 1.114 (!) and an Away OPS of .888 (good, but not ! good). Garrett Atkins, a player most Phillies fans would love to have at the hot corner, has a career .934 Home OPS and a .765 career Away OPS. Brad Hawpe, amazingly, bucks the trend- his career Home OPS is .876 and Away it is only .32 points lower. Yorvit Torrealba was a terrible hitter before he went to Colorado... and, well, still is.

Now, the Phillies also play in a park known as hitter friendly. But their splits aren't nearly as severe as the Rockies. Chase Utley has a career Home OPS of .945 and an Away OPS of .867. Ryan Howard- .984 Home, .962 Away. Pat Burrell has almost identical splits- .858 Home and .859 Away (although he did play in the Vet for a few years). Rollins also played in the Vet, and his Home OPS is .800, Away .747. And last year in his MVP season, he had a Home OPS of .892 and an Away OPS of .859. Not a huge gap there.

Perhaps the best example of the Coors Field effect is Vinny Castilla. The guy put up a bunch of 30-40 HR season for the Rockies in the 90's, left and struggled in ATL, TB, and HOU for a couple years, then in 2004 goes back to COL and hits 35 dongs and 43 doubles at 36 years old. The next year in WAS, he hit 12 HR in 494 AB. Larry Walker's another one- he was Superman when he played for Colorado, but was a mere Green Arrow or Booster Gold on Montreal and St. Louis. Dante Bichette's another one who was just plain average outside of Coors. And the list goes on.

The point of all this, of course, is screw the Rockies, and be glad that they absolutely suck this year. Losers.

*I realize that Castilla and Walker are "pre-Coors Field humidor" guys. But it doesn't change much. Holliday has played his entire career in the Colorado post-humidor world.

Who is Jimmy Rollins?

2008-07-14T09:49:00.002-04:00

From Sam Donnellon’s piece in today’s DN on Jimmy Rollins’ inconsistency at the plate-

This season, when Rollins has scored, the record is 21-7.

So they’re 21-7 because Jimmy Rollins scored? No. Obviously his point is Rollins needs to get on base for the Phillies to be at their best. But why pick on Jimmy for not being on base more often? It’s no secret that it’s just not a big part of his game.

Jimmy Rollins is a very good player. Awesome power for his size, outstanding speed, a very good fielder, and just the right amount of cockiness (usually). But he is not a great leadoff hitter. His current OBP of .340 is actually better than his career OBP of .332, and is close to his OBP last season of .344. So the “problem” with Jimmy isn’t that he suddenly isn’t getting on base; the problem is he’s NEVER excelled at getting on base. He’s very ordinary and average when it comes to that.

In fact, the one thing he did significantly better than usual last year had nothing to do with just getting on base; it was getting extra bases when he hit. His SLG of .531 last year is 90 points better than his career SLG of .441. And lo and behold- his SLG this year is .438, right around his career average. Jimmy hasn’t fallen apart; he’s just having an average year by his standards. It's who Jimmy is.

Elton B is President

2008-07-10T09:04:00.002-04:00

To say the Elton Brand signing is exciting is an understatement, like saying Salma Hayek is okay looking or Jesse Jackson is kind of a jackass for wanting to cut off Obama’s nuts. He is easily the best post player here since Charles Barkley (sorry, Sharone Wright) and instantly makes the Sixers one of the top 4 teams in the East.

Obviously, this is all contingent on him being healthy, which several surgeons and holistic healers say he is. If this makes any sense, it’s actually more reassuring that the signing was made under the reign of Ed Stefanski rather than Billy King. First of all, Billy King never would have gotten the deal done because he would have already signed someone like Nenad Kristic or Balki from Perfect Strangers to a max deal. But there is also a reassuring aspect in the fact that Stefanski probably looked very closely at Brand’s health, whereas Billy King had no problems going after players who make a ton of money and only have one good leg. It’s far easier to trust Stefanski’s instincts than BK’s.

So what’s next for the revamped Sixers? Six consecutive titles? Appearances in Scooby Doo cartoons? Maybe, but probably not. Obviously their biggest need is someone who can shoot from more than 8 feet away from the net, and they don’t have a whole lot of money to play with to get someone like that. But moves can be made, and for now let us just thank the ghost of Billy King (what, he’s not dead?) for becoming ever less present in the Sixers front office and enjoy the beginning of a new era for Sixers basketball.

NOTE TO DESTROY THE OPTIMISM OF THIS POST: Elton Brand will probably only play 93 mediocre games as a Sixer before retiring due to injuries.

No More Vlad

2008-06-22T13:31:00.002-04:00

90 Games Played Against the Phillies
31 Home Runs
.373 BA
.745 SLG
1.213 OPS

We get it, you like to hit against the Phillies. You don't need to prove it anymore.

Major Tom, this is Ground Control. Stop singing and return to base immediately.

2008-06-09T21:48:00.003-04:00

Over the last six weeks or so, Jim and I have received a decent amount of correspondence from our rapid teenage girl fanbase (note to the authorities: all emails with a picture are deleted immediately so there is no reason to look at all the other porn on our computers on one of your fishing expeditions) asking us what is up with the lack of updates to the site. For instance, Kara, 14 from Drexel Hill, wrote the following:

Hey guyz? Whtzup?!?! When willz u2 rite a new post? W/B/S. Kara

Well Kara, we do appreciate your concern, but sometimes other aspects of our lives receive more priority than this website. I can't speak for Jim, but I have been so caught up in the battle to determine Zimbabwe's next President that I have pretty much been ignoring sports completely. But I do think I can take a quick break from going over the latest poll data from Masvingo to answer a few questions about the Phillies. First though, I must cease laughing at "heady" David Eckstein getting picked off first in the bottom of the ninth in a tie game with no outs and Alex Rios about to get on base with a walk.

Is Ryan Howard going to turn it around or will he break his own strike out record?

Yes and yes. Howard's current BABIP is .259, which is significantly less than his three year average of .346 from '05-'07. Unless managers have figured out exactly where to play all seven guys in the field when Howard is at bat, the easiest explanation to the drop in BABIP is simply luck. For whatever reason, when Howard puts the ball in play, it is not finding the holes that it did the past three seasons. This number will go up or I'm not the next coach of the Chicago Bulls. His lack of walks is still concerning to me (Howard has two eight game streaks without taking a walk, he had zero such streaks in '07), I think he will start getting more hits in the next few months.

As far as the strikeouts go, Ryan Howard is always going to swing and miss at a lot of baseballs. If he gets ten at bats in a game, which I am predicting will happen August 29 at Wrigley and the Phils will win 32-28, Howard will strike out three times. The strike outs are the necessary evil that come with his insane power. People who suggest that he should choke up or just try to make contact probably need to go reassure their son that even if he isn't the best player on the team, he is still loved, because I'm sure he has his doubts.

Are there any players out there that the Phillies could trade for?

Probably, but it is still very early. I think a big prize will be Brian Fuentes of the Rockies, who is having another great year in that awful ballpark (ERA+ of 184). He only makes $5 million this year and will be a free agent at the end of this season. He would be a great addition to the back of the Phillies bullpen, but I don't know if the Rockies would be willing to take back a lot of guys in A ball because that is all the Phillies can afford to trade.

What can save the Mets season?

Hopefully nothing. Their current situation is much too entertaining for it to stop.

If the season ended on June 9, would Chase Utley be the MVP?

No. But if the baseball season ended on June 9, I think there would be much more important topics to talk about. Like, who is going to take my dollar coins in return for hot dogs later this summer?

Has Pedro Feliz won you over yet?

I am doing my best to ignore how awful he is as a hitter and just focus on the stability that he adds in the field. He does have a rocket for an arm and makes most of the plays he has to. But he is going to end the season with an OPS+ around 80-85 and hopefully the human out machine doesn't hurt them in the playoffs.

Hungry?

Yes. Meeting over.

Eagles Post-Draft Analysis

2008-04-29T16:32:00.003-04:00

Why bother with traditional analysis? As has been done since time immemorial, here are the BSB 92.3% accurate predictions for the newest Eagles'-

Trevor Laws- will be in the starting DT rotation this year. Will have a solid, but unspectacular, career of about 10 seasons. Will die in 2049 of a massive heart attack brought on by over consumption of Neat, a future near-meat food substance.

DeSean Jackson- will be returning kicks from day 1. Will be a decent No. 3 WR by day 1,671, hopefully. Dies in 2087 as a result of 'Bot Rot when his artificially intelligent robotic replacement wrist becomes deranged and forces DeSean to choke himself to death.

Bryan Smith- spends 2 years buried on the DE depth chart, gets 2 career sacks. Dies in 2010 of loneliness. And DragonAIDS (coming August 2010).

Michael McGlynn- starting RG in 2 years, as Shawn Andrews will be at RT by then. Lasts 8 years in the NFL. Dies in 2039 in the Bottled Water Wars.

Quintin Demps- career special teamer and backup safety, but a decent one. Bounces around the NFL for 9 seasons. Dies in 2056 by the hand of his Sexbot, which suffers an S&M chip failure in its safe word matrix.

Jack Ikegwuonu- never plays a down. Ends up in the Arena League. Shot dead in 2018 attempting a home invasion to steal an XBox360, not realizing he totally could have gotten a newer, more powerful XBox660 from the unarmed fella next door.

Michael Gibson- bounces around the league for a few years as a 3rd/4th Guard. Strangely, he is IMMORTAL.

Joe Mays- never plays a down. Come on, he's an ILB and runs a 4.9 40. Dies in 2029 when he tries to run and is so impossibly slow he violates the laws of physics and causes a time-space paradox to occur which blinks him out of existence.

Andrew Studebaker- adds a few pounds, keeps his speed, becomes a decent situational pass rusher. Has a good career cut short by his untimely death in 2013 due to the Hot Pockets Fever epidemic.

King Dunlap- Despite his wonderful Wonderlic score and what surely must be a massive penis, he doesn't even make the team. Dies peacefully in 2040 at home in his giant bed, calling out for Rosebud, a strain of marijuana which unfortunately in 2040 is extinct.

The Only NFL Draft Preview You Need If You Are A Fan of the Philadelphia Friggin Eagles

2008-04-25T17:02:00.003-04:00

Here are three interesting facts that very few people know about me:

My lucky number is a fraction (5/12!!!)
Though when people discuss scenes from the movie I always nod my head in agreeance, I've never seen Braveheart
I am an Expert Prognosticator when it comes to the NFL Draft.

Without further ado, behold my 2008 NFL Eagles Draft Preview (for the first three rounds)

Round 1 (Pick 19)
Best Case: Because of rumors of addiction to JuJubes and video games, Glenn Dorsey takes part in a monumental draft slide and is available at Pick 19. After a lot of thought (and Tastykakes), Andy Reid rolls the dice and selects Dorsey. Reid tries to get Dorsey on the phone to congratulate him, but Dorsey is too busy creating a Mii of himself with an Eagles jersey to import into Madden '08.
Worst Case: After wasting their first pick in last year's draft on Kevin Kolb, the Eagles decide that they would like to have a real competition for the backup quarterback position and select Joe Flacco, the QB from U of Delaware. Jay Fielder declines to comment on the pick.
Most Likely Case: Aqib Talib, the corner back from Kansas. The over/under on the time it takes someone to call WIP with the question, "Why did we just pick a terrorist instead of ...." is 7 minutes and 24 seconds after the pick is announced.

Round 2 (Pick 49)
Best Case: After the first round, it becomes much harder to project the draft picks, mainly because of trades and the fact that I haven't heard of any of the guys that are still available. So I think the best case scenario is that they trade this pick and Lito Sheppard to move up in the draft to take someone I've heard of. Like James Hardy.
Worst Case: In an attempt to draft more local players to appease the drunk fans, Reid selects Ray Rice, RB from Rutgers. With Westbrook and Buckhalter already in at the first two spots of the depth chart, Rice will most likely sit most of the season or be converted to a middle linebacker. Great value pick.
Most Likely Case: Duane Brown, offensive tackle from Virgina Tech. Two reasons: Andy Reid loves sitting next to offensive linemen at press conferences to make himself look thinner and 04/16/07 - Never Forget.

Round 3 (Pick 80)
Best Case: This is where the Eagles scouting pays off. With the 80th pick, the Eagles select Raymond Alafoutise, a 6'7 265 pound physical specimen from Harare, Zimbabwe. Though he has never played American Football in his life, Alafoutise can run a 4.2 40 yard dash (in his bare feet), can bench 225 pounds 54 times (ableit 225 pounds in artillery shells), can kick a ball (soccer) over 85 yards. It was Reid's wife who discover Alafoutise from a Mormon Mission brochure on Zimbabwe. It is projected that Alafoutise will play both offense and defense, but will not be given a position. The Eagles staff will just point at players and expect Alafoutise to destroy them.
Worst Case: After losing a golf bet to John Chaney, Reid is forced to pay up and selects Gary Stockman, WR from Temple. Though he has no official stats from his playing days at Temple, Stockman's unique stature (5'6 160 pounds) makes him the smallest non-kicker in the NFL. This could be another Vince Papale story in the making. Or not.
Most Likely Case: Andre Caldwell, wide receiver from Florida. Because Florida receivers have panned out so well in the NFL.

That is it. You are welcome.

Hey, how 'bout them Flyers?

2008-04-24T09:26:00.005-04:00

We've been getting a lot of mail, or so I will have you pretend to believe, about our lack of coverage of the Flyers and the playoffs excitement surrounding them. First of all, we specifically apologize to the Flyers in the blog's heading for our lack of coverage of them. IS THAT NOT ENOUGH? For further explanations of why we're not giving them a lot of attention, lookie here-

1. Lack of hockey knowledge. Between Mark and I, we can name a total of about 12 NHL players and the team they play for. This includes Flyers. And the reason we have so little knowledge is...

2. Lack of hockey interest. This was not always the case. Growing up in the suburbs of Philly, we were bombarded daily with Flyers chat and kept up with their goings on. But these days, with Mark living in the hockey dead zone of Chicago and me downtown in Philly where hockey is a distinct No. 4 of the major sports (and soon to be No. 5 when soccer comes), the other 3 sports just get much more of our tireless devotion to grown men playing games for outrageous sums of money.

2A. The Lockout. This was what killed hockey for me. I was already drifting away from it, and then the whole 2004-2005 season was cancelled. When the NHL came back, I realized I hadn't missed hockey all that much, especially since I'd filled the time with a home locksmithing course from ICS. Thank you, Sally Struthers.

3. Coatsey's Corner. Just kidding. Or am I? Actually, the hockey nicknaming convention of just adding a "y" to the end of everyone's last name (or a shortened version of it) is pretty annoying. Mosquito swarms at a BBQ annoying.

I still enjoy going to see live hockey a great deal. And hey, we're enjoying watching the Flyers playoff games and looking at other teams playoff rosters and saying "He's still in the league?" and "Holy shit, I didn't know he was on the Sharks."

Maybe we're bad fans for jumping on the bandwagon at playoff time, but as I always say, it's better to be on the bandwagon than under its wheels having your internal organs crushed into paste.

Let's Look At the Positives

2008-04-22T20:53:00.003-04:00

Instead of messing with the Sixers karma, I choose instead to look at the positives of the 2008 Philadelphia Phillies. It is much easier to harp on the negative (which you can find at www.pleasegoaway.farfaraway.ericbruntlett.com) so instead I would like to look at the positive side of the first three weeks of the Phillies' season.

Positive Point #1 - Chase Utley is Superhuman
In a summer that is going to be dominated by Iron Man, Batman, and the Hulk, it is only appropriate that Chase Utley reveal himself as Planet Earth's first real superhero. So far this year, Utley leads the NL in Home Runs, Slugging, OPS, Total Bases, High Fives, Extra Base Hits, Fastest Rope Climb, Batting Wins, At-Bats per Home Runs, and Overall Swellness. Once Chipper Jones does his first stint on the DL (over/under May 11 (Reminder that is Mother's Day (Just wanted to throw in another set of parentheses))), Utley will be the clear cut favorite to win the MVP. At that point, the NL may have to institute a new rule that bans any Phillie from winning the award for the next five years until their core players are out of their peak.

Positive Point #2 - Pat Burrell is the White Jesus
If you look back far enough on the archives here, you will find a post where I advocated getting rid of Burrell because his power had all but disappeared. What you did not know was that I was using reverse psychology, figuring that if I joined the bandwagon of idiots who envied Burrell because of his salary and lifestyle, then Burrell would become a great hitter. And you know what? It gosh darn worked. I'm not sure why Paul Hagen or Jayson Stark haven't called me up with an interview request, but it probably has something to do with the fact that the Philadelphia area isn't ready for this kind of heady story. Or they just don't have my phone number.

Positive Point #3 - The Phillies Bullpen is Unhittable
This is more Jim's point than mine (as well as my imaginary internet friend "airborne"), but I will re-iterate it (or would I just be iterating it since Jim has not made it here?): The Phillies bullpen has been brilliant.

Brad Lidge: 8.0 IP, 0.00 ERA, 1.25 WHIP, 8 Ks
JC Romero: 9.2 IP, 0.00 ERA, 1.24 WHIP, 10 Ks
Rudy Seanez: 7.0 IP, 0.00 ERA, 1.00 WHIP (this will not last if his K:BB ratio stays at 1:2.33)
Chad "The Real Real Deal" Durbin: 14.0 IP, 0.64 ERA, 1.14 WHIP

These guys have pitched over four total games combined and given up one run. We call that it in the baseball business "good". So while Kyle Kendrick re-negotiates his deal with Satan, these guys are keeping the Phillies in games.

Positive Point #4 - Charlie Manuel Could Make a Quadriplegic Walk
Last season, Rod Barajas joined the Phillies and brought along a career OBP of under .300. In his one season with the Phillies, he put up an OBP of .352, 46 points higher than his career high, while only hitting .230. In 400 years, alien researchers will look at these statistics and then look at each and scream, "What the FUCK?!?" But then they'll realize that Ole' Chuck Manuel was their manager and it was slowly make sense to them and they can figure out more efficient ways to enslave the human race.

Well, Ole' Chuck is at it again, this time with Pedro Happy. Pedro has a career BA of .251 and a career OBP of .288. This season his OBP is right in line with his career mark at .282, but he is doing it with a BA almost 50 points lower than his career average at .203. He is on pace for 54 walks which would absolutely shatter his career high. In fact, if he were to reach 54 walks, that would represent almost 27% of Mr. Happy's career total of walks that he has accumulated in six plus seasons of being a regular. And who is responsible for allowing us to marvel at the physical specimen that is Pedro Feliz trot to first base? Ole' Chuck Manuel, of course.

Positive Point #5 - Cole Hamels
If someone came up to me and yelled, "DID YOU SEE THE PHILLIES GAME TODAY COLE HAMELS SHOT LIGHTNING OUT OF HIS HAND", I would calmly grab both of their shoulders and politely ask them "Was it out of his left hand or right?" If Pat Burrell is the White Jesus, then Cole Hamels the White Jesus that Pitches As Well. And that concept completely blows Ben Stein's Mind.

Positive Point #6 - Phillies Lead the Majors in Home Runs
When I was a young lad attending Phillies games in the best seats at the Vet, people used to get so excited seeing a home run because they were so rare. In fact, we would talk on the car ride to the game how lucky we would be if we got to see, gasp, two home runs hit by the Phillies. When I think about stories like these it reminds me how lucky I was that I was never kidnapped in any of the weird bathrooms or other nooks at the Vet. That place was a creep's heaven with all the dark corners and easy exits. Yikes!

Positive Point #7 - It isn't even May yet
The team is .500. If it weren't for their inept training staff, Jimmy Rollins would probably be playing right now. Howard will eventually start hitting or else I'll have to write him a letter telling him that he is my hero, but he is letting me down and include a picture of me threatening to kill my cat if he doesn't pick it up. I'm not worried. You should not be either.

Walk Hard

2008-04-06T22:19:00.003-04:00

I was thumbing through the 2008 Phillies' Media Guide and was intrigued by Pedro Feliz' bio. In response to the question, "What are your three top pet peeves, in no particular order", Pedro listed the following:

Sushi
People who don't close closets
Taking four pitches that are out of the strike zone during an at bat

The first week of the Feliz Era did not exactly make anyone forget Charlie Hayes. Over the course of his first 20 plate appearances (WARNING: WE ARE STILL IN THE LAND OF EXTREMELY SMALL SAMPLE SIZES) and he produced 4 singles and 1 walk. Hopefully Week 2 at leasts sees the debut of Pedro Feliz on second base after a plate appearance.

It is fun to trash Feliz, but as a whole, the Phillies' offense has been pretty putrid outside of Chase Utley and Pat Burrell. This will turn around. The pitching on the other hand......

According to Jayson Stark....

2008-04-04T09:36:00.002-04:00

"There are signs that Ryan Howard wants an unprecedented contract - he won't be using Miguel Cabrera as his model. A trade before he reaches free agency (after the 2010 season) seems likely."

My sources tell me he wants to be paid in Euros and blank DVD-Rs. Definitely unprecedented.

Season's Over, Part Two

2008-04-02T22:06:00.002-04:00

Aaron Rowand would not have stood for an 0-2 start. Neither would Larry Bowa. It's time to get rid of all these soft losers and get a bunch of guys who will care about the first week of the season. Fire Manuel, waive Burrell, trade Howard. THESE GUYS NEED A WAKEUP CALL.

Back to Planet Earth.

The Good: Cole Hamels was quite nasty tonight. The wind was blowing in significantly, but I don't care about the weather. I care about results. 8 innings, 5 hits, and one run should get it done on most nights.

The Bad: Except on this night when the offense only was able to muster up one hit. When International Pop Superstar Pedro Feliz is responsible for filling out the team's entire box score, it is going to be difficult to win.

The Ugly: A little off topic, but how can the NBA allow Miami to charge customers that actually want to attend their games? Their starting five is Ricky Davis, Earl Barron, Mark Blount, Chris Quinn, and Daquean Cook. Their bench is four deep and I've never heard of any of the four dudes. They have failed to score 80 points in six of their last eleven games. They've lost by an average of 20 points in their last four games. This might be the worst team to ever play in the NBA.

Missing Aaron Rowand

2008-04-01T17:31:00.002-04:00

THE SEASON IS RUINED AFTER ONE GAME BECAUSE ROWAND IS GONE!

Of couse, Sam Donnellon says that's not his point in writing this article. But....... it is.

I love this too-

"Utley, who launched a sixth-inning home run, had the front of his shirt caked in dirt by game's end."

That's right- he's a real ballplayer. Hey, Tom Gordon- get some fucking dirt caked on you and maybe you'll be good like Chase. I don't care if you have to have jump in a dumpster before you take the mound, get dirty dammit!

Season's Over, Part One

2008-03-31T22:43:00.002-04:00

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly from the season opener.

The Good: Chase Utley had a nice game at the plate with his first home run and two hits for the day. And he didn't bobble an easy groundball that led to a crucial run like another star player on the team who plays a middle infield position, but will remain nameless.

The Bad: Charlie Manuel continues to make me question why MLB teams have humans managing them and not monkeys. He is probably going to catch a lot of heat for pulling JC Romero for Tom Gordon, but that is one of those situations where he is only right if it works. If Romero stays in and gives up a ton of runs, then he is an idiot for not brining in Gordon. It is too early to stretch these relievers out.

My problem was his decision in the first inning of the first game of the year to have Victorino bunt Rollins over to third with no one out. The only way this decision makes sense is if one of the following is true:

The Phillies offense is terrible
The Phillies pitching staff is good enough to hold a one run lead for the next eight innings.
It is 1948 and all the town is buzzing about how Thomas Dewey is going to make a great President.

It just boggles my mind that they would be playing for one run in the home opener in the first inning. The bottom of their order is not exactly Murderer's Row, so the Phillies need to squeeze every bit of offense from Rollins/Victorino/Utley/Howard/Burrell as possible. Sacrificing Victorino to move Utley over to third does not fall into that category.

The Ugly: Tom Gordon and his 135.01 ERA. I really enjoy it for the first week or so when pitchers have to carry around these monstrous ERAs after one or two bad outings. And Gordon was bad. Hopefully he can get one more year out of that arm of his or Brad Lidge has a time machine. Otherwise the last few innings are not going to be pleasant to watch.

---------
Pedro Feliz is going to be the whipping boy this year, at least here. And he did nothing to prove us wrong today, going 0-4 with two strikeouts, a double play, and leaving three guys on base. But hey, he might hit 20 home runs and everyone knows how awesome home runs are!!!

Your 2008 Philadelphia Phillies

2008-03-31T09:47:00.006-04:00

It's opening day, so what the fuck, here's a Phillies preview.

They're not winning the division. Hey, if they do win it again, that's great, and it'll be a drunk and happy time if they do. But with the Mets adding the best pitcher in the world to their already good team and the Braves looking like they'll win more than 84 games this year, the Phils are going to be in a massively bloody and gory battle, replete with missing limbs and infected pus-filled wounds, for the division, let alone the Wild Card.

Offensively, they're in very good shape, although it'll be hard to match last season's incredible 892 runs scored unless MLB suddenly allows DH's in the NL. Their 2008 PECOTA projection is 839 runs scored, and who can argue with the mighty PECOTA program? No one. The Phils should have one of the top three offenses in the NL, as they usually do. The loss of Aaron Rowand's offense will be countered by the addition of Geoff Jenkins (vs. RHP anyway) and increased playing time for Jayson Werth. And the loss of Rowand's grit will be countered by the addition of grits to the players' pre-game meal. Also, reports that Pedro Feliz is an upgrade on offense are as inaccurate as Willie Green from 3 point range. He's 32 and has a career OBP of .288. Yeah, he'll hit 25 HR's, but he is not going to push the offense into bold new high-scoring places. But that's okay- healthy seasons from top producers Ryan Howard, Chase Utley, Pat Burrell (YES PAT BURRELL), and Jimmy Rollins means a potent offense and plenty of support for the pitching staff.

And the pitching staff is going to need it. Obviously there are high hopes for another great season from Cole Hamels and the return to starting of Brett Myers. But after that, things get buggy. Jamie Moyer is a savvy vet, and old war-horse, and not totally decrepit at 45 but is coming off his worst season since 2004. Kyle Kendrick did an amazing job last year and is fun to prank but will have a hard time duplicating that success now that's he's a known commodity. And Adam Eaton fucking sucks.

In the bullpen, new closer Brad Lidge of course is starting the season on the DL because the Phillies' training staff is on the Mets' payroll (conspiracy theory in development). This leaves the closing duties to Tom Gordon, who was so ineffective last season that he was only the 4th best reliever on the Philadelphia Phillies. JC Romero, he of the 1.24 ERA with the Phils in '07, is as streaky as decent relievers get. Evidence of his streakiness- his career ERA is 4.30, but he's never had a single season with an ERA in the 4's. They're all higher or lower. Expect something a little closer to, but hopefully not higher than, that career ERA number from him this season. Ryan Madson started pitching very well before he got hurt last year; hopefully he used a bookmark so he can easily pick up where he left off. And other than that, the 'pen is full of unproven and below average stuff, like an Old Navy store.

As far as intangibles go, you can expect them to be very good when the Phillies are winning, and very poor when the Phillies are losing. It's frigging sports; teams have fun when they are winning and are miserable when they're losing.

Overall, after last year's amazing run the expectations for the Phillies this season are extremely high. But the reality is they're in a tough division and have a pitching staff of dubious quality. This sums it up- the Mets went out and got Johan Santana; the Phillies went out and got Kris and Anna Benson. Advantage- Mets (unless you're really into bitchy right-wing women with huge racks). Put the questionable pitching together with the Phillies explosive offense, and they're an 87 win team. A few things break right, and they'll win 90.

And that's my final predicition- 90 wins, and the Wild Card spot. Go Phils.

The Return of Bad Willie Green

2008-03-26T21:00:00.005-04:00

And its bad, bad willie green

Worst darn shooter that I've ever seen
Badder than stale chow mien
And his shooting does hurt my spleen

While the Sixers have been playing amazing basketball, they have been doing it in spite of our favorite whipping boy Willie Green. His numbers for the last four games:

vs Orlando: 1-9 from the field, 2 points
vs New Jersey: 3-17 (17 shots?!?!), 9 points
vs Boston: 1-7, 4 points
vs Chicago: 4-14, 9 points, 4 turnovers (and the rest of the Sixers only totaled 4 turnovers for the entire game)

Adding these four games together and you get a guy shooting 19%, yet averaging almost 12 shots a game.

Now I will admit, Jim and I weren't exactly standing on top of the mountain, singing Willie's praises in January and February when he was playing the best basketball of his career. But we are here ready to pounce on him as he returns to his patented methods of awfulness. Hopefully he either a)at least gets back to being mediocre or b)the rest of the Sixers are able to overcome his terribleness. I really hope that Willie Green is not the reason the Sixers get bounced out of the playoffs early.

A Sixers Legend

2008-03-14T14:25:00.003-04:00

Last Friday at the Sixers/Sonics game, I had to explain to my girlfriend that there is indeed a man who once played for and now works for the Sixers whose legal name is World B. Free. Even after they showed his picture and name on the giant arena video screen during a boring halftime presentation of some award or somesuch, she did not believe such a man existed.

Free had a solid if not spectacular career. He was mostly known for his scoring ability although the man was a bit of a playmaker as well. Even though his best seasons were not in Philadelphia, the Sixers were his first NBA team and therefore have a special place in his heart (according to me). But what else do we know about the man named World B. Free? Very little in my case. So we're done discussing him.

With things occurring like Willie Green lighting things up and Rodney Carney not constantly embarrassing himself on the court, I feel pretty good about the Sixers assembled cast these days, and I feel good about their future too. Iggy is a borderline star, Thaddeus Young continues to give me basketboners, Sam Dalembert no longer takes (many) jump hooks from the top of the key. There are plenty of questions, like "Can Lou Williams take over from Andre Miller and play the point someday?", and "Can Reggie Evans go play somewhere else but leave his rebounding ability behind for some other player who does not have useless, Edward Scissorhands-like hands?" We shall see. The Sixers have not been this exciting to follow in quite some time.

Adam Eaton

2008-03-07T12:40:00.003-05:00

People and things that would do better as the Phillies' fifth starter rather than Adam Eaton will-

JD Durbin
Kris Benson, even with his girl first name
62 year old Dock Ellis and a shitload of LSD
The remains of Cory Lidle, if there were any
My cat Sammy
Casper the Friendly Ghost (real one, not the cartoon)
A batting practice machine on medium speed

Please, Adam, go on the DL. And then go away.

L33T Wide Receiver Needed?

2008-03-04T11:47:00.005-05:00

Please excuse the nerd speak. There is much buzz in the media and among fans that the Eagles have, to put it mildly, totally fucked up and ruined the upcoming season by not getting a top-flight wide receiver this off-season. All the talk of Randy Moss meetings and Larry Fitzgerald trades has been quieted, with Moss re-signing with the Pats and Fitzgerald apparently content to play for a hapless team that will pay him about 43% of their salary cap number every season until 3 years after his legs fall off. Besides, the Cardinals management, though they are dumbasses, wasn't going to trade their top receiver for Lito Sheppard and draft picks.

Other than Moss, the free agent market for WR's was weak. Bernard Berrian may have looked good based on his 948 yards receiving last year with the Bears, but he's really a slightly above-average receiver who had a ton of passes thrown in his direction last year. The Eagles already have this player; his name is Reggie Brown. Donte Stallworth was talked about, but bringing him and his iffy hamstrings back was obviously not in the cards or in the budget. And if they really do want an injury case, Javon Walker is still available.

The person who is being hurt the most in all of this is Kevin Curtis, who is probably very depressed (or not) about this chatter that the Eagles sorely need WR help. Sure, maybe he'd have loved being the counterpart Wes Welker to Randy Moss in Philly, but that ignores the fact that Curtis had a really good year last year with Reggie Brown lining up on the other side of the field and Donovan McNabb's occasional struggling. He's not a big red-zone target, but he's a fine receiver.

With McNabb back near 100% this year and the cast of receivers they already have, the Eagles could and should be one of the top 10 passing teams in the NFL again. That is unless they lose 1,000 yards in sacks, which could happen. The prospect of their ancient tackles getting hurt and Winston Justice starting against the Giants is far scarier than the possibility they won't add another WR before the season begins.

They got a good corner. They got a pass rusher. It would have been nice if they got a super-duper wide receiver too, but other than Moss there was no one available with the kind of talent worth crippling your salary cap room for. Before everyone writes off the Eagles because they don't have Randy Moss, let's see what happens with the possible trading of Lito and the draft, and get ready for an improved Eagles team in 2008. Improved enough to compete in the hyper-competitive NFC East? We shall see.

Our apologies...

2008-03-03T09:27:00.003-05:00

William "Willie" Green, who the hell are you? With the exception of his woeful, vintage performance against Golden State the other night, the man has been largely on fire. He's shooting well, drawing more fouls, and, from possibly inaccurate accounts, is working hard with his staff to bridge the divide in the Democratic party in this tumultuous primary season.

For the year, Willie has his PPS all the way up at 1.11, which if it holds will easily be a career high. Now, before everyone gets out of hand with their "I told you so"'s, the man still cannot pass, defend, or rebound. He is not going to be a better pro the Andre Iguodala, like some famous moron said. But what he is doing for now- providing reliable offense- is extremely important as the Sixers make their run to get swept in the first round of the playoffs.

Sadly, with the Rise of Willie, someone else must take his place as the least-favorite Sixer. Rodney Carney, come on down. You can't shoot, rebound, pass, or stay healthy. Welcome.

2008-02-27T09:43:00.002-05:00

I’m back.

Where was I? France. Little known fact- there is no internet access in France.

In an excellent, relief-inducing move by the Phils, Brett Myers has been named the starter for Opening Day 2008. It was almost a sure thing that he would be back in the rotation, but the vote of confidence and picking him to lead the rotation rather than Hamels is a great move.

But all is not well in Clearwater- Brad Lidge, the new closer, is unlikely to be ready to go on opening day unless he gets some of the blood from the cheerleader on Heroes. And the second option is Tom Gordon, a man who is in desperate need of bionic replacement parts for his ravaged arm. And last season's closer has already been named as a starter. But as I always say, I'll take a good starter over a great closer any day.

Also, I had a weird dream last night that the Phillies had A-Rod. Prophetic? I’d say 100% yes.

Who?

2008-02-24T13:05:00.002-05:00

From Randy Miller's column today:

Dominique Brown is tall and skinny at 6-foot-5, 205. He bats and throws left, plays a mean right field and has an arm that scares baserunners. And best of all, this kid hits baseballs a long, long way.

I google'd "Dominique Brown" and an reference about Nicole Brown Simpson's sister. I assume he was talking about Dominic Brown, the Phillies minor league player.

Some 18 months later, the Phillies are dreaming about someday having their best 1-2 power punch ever if Howard sticks around and Brown lives up to his potential.
I assume Brown will play the whole season in A ball as he has a grand total of 411 at bats professionally. Assuming that he plays A ball this year, AA in '09, and AAA in '10, he would be ready to for the majors in '11. That will also be Howard's final year before he reaches free agency, assuming that the Phillies don't trade him before then. So this would be more of a fantasy "dream", like the Trix Rabbit has of finally getting his Trix.

The group is headed by Brown and includes former No. 1 pick Greg Golson, D'Arby Myers, Matt Spencer and 2007 Paul Owens winner Quinton Berry.

1. It is Quintin, not Quinton.

2. Of that group of five players, one of them, Golson, has played above A ball. I find it difficult to get excited about a bunch of 18 and 19 year old kids that haven't seen AA pitching, let alone succeeded against it.

I know writers have a lot of filler articles that they have to file during spring training. But this just seems like a story that Miller got after having some beers with one of the Phillies minor league development guys last night. The only one of these guys that might sniff the majors in the next three years is Golson and he is still a work in progress. It took Golson three years to get to AA and that is where he is going to start this season. His career OBP in the minors is .303, which is just atrocious.

But at least baseball is starting.

Hazing Time

2008-02-19T19:08:00.003-05:00

Yes, it is time for the monthly post.

I had planned on trashing Phil Sheridan's Fantasyland column from this morning's Inquirer that suggested the Phillies lay down during their arbitration hearing with Ryan Howard.

But Keith Law beat me to the punch.

So instead, I will pick on the Daily News' new Phillies beat writer, David Murphy. I am certain that Murphy will be an upgrade over the DN's previous beat guy, Marcus Hayes, but he is off to a rough start. Apparently he has quite a hard on for batting averages. This is from today's spring training report regarding Pat Burrell:

Eight years into his career, it's still difficult to find the proper perspective through which to view the man who at one point was cast as a franchise's savior. On one hand are his 218 career home runs, fifth in Phillies history. By the end of the year, he'll likely move back Greg Luzinski (223) and Chuck Klein (243).

On the other hand are his .258 career average and numerous injuries.

Batting average, home runs. These are the only criteria used to judge Pat Burrell. What about his career .357 OBP or .482 SLG?

In 2002, the year before he signed a 6-year contract extension that will earn him $14 million this year, he hit .282 with 37 home runs and 116 RBI. The following year, those numbers plummeted to .209, 21 and 64.

Burrell had one awful year and it was five years ago. It is time to let it go.

Only once has his batting average improved in two straight seasons (from .209 to .257 to .281 from 2003-05). After hitting .281 with 32 home runs and 117 RBI in 2005, his batting average dropped to .258 in 2006 and .256 last year.

When David Murphy was young, he would open up a package of baseball cards and organize all his new cards by the player's batting averages. What is the difference between hitting .258 and .256? Last year for Burrell, it is one hit. One more hit and he would not have landed on the dreaded Murphy Sliding Batting Average List.

No one is expecting Pat Burrell to hit .300. We do expect him to get on base and hit home runs. Burrell's OPS the past three seasons have been .893, .890, and .902. While he may have his ups and downs throughout the season, at the end of the year his numbers always end up around the same place. There aren't too many teams that would turn down the idea of having a left fielder put up an OPS of .890 on a yearly basis.

"But what about his batting average?!?!"

Hopefully the learning curve is not a steep one for David Murphy.

Mo Money Mo Problems

2008-01-20T16:02:00.000-05:00

What is $3 million between friends?

Myself and the rest of my friends in The Millionaire Club may laugh at that figure, but it may be the monetary difference that sends Ryan Howard and the Phillies to an arbitrator to determine his 2008 contract. Howard feels that he should be paid $10 million and the Phillies think his worth is $7 million (I like how they rounded to the closest million). It is always possible that the two sides come to an agreement before it reaches arbitration, but I think the $3 million gap is not going to be bridged very easily.

Arbitration awards are based on both performance and service time. To put Howard's demands into perspective, Alfonso Soriano is the only player in the history of baseball to be awarded $10 million in arbitration and he received that before his sixth year in the league, his last before becoming a free agent. Howard is classified in the "Super Two" category for players that have not had three full service years in MLB, but fulfill other playing time categories to qualify for salary arbitration. Needless to say, no player has ever received $10 million in their first year in arbitration.

Todd Zolecki has done a great job so far covering this issue, both in print and at his blog. He speculates that Howard's contract demands will be in excess of the 7 year, $100 million contract that Albert Pujols signed.

This issue seems have to split the fanbase into two camps; one thinks that the Phillies are being smart for not extending Howard immediately and the other shouting "C'mon, stop bein' so cheap and pay the man".

I fall firmly in line with those that feel the Phillies are doing the correct thing in not handing over the keys to the vault to Howard at this time. Why? Let me count the ways.

1. When a team and a player come to an agreement for a long-term contract before the player reaches free agency, it usually is a win-win for both parties. The team is able to buy the player out of his first year or two of free agency at a discount, as compared to what he would possibly get on the open market, and the player gets the security of a long-term, guaranteed contract. Ryan Howard is a unique situation because he will be 27 when the season begins and the Phillies have him under control for the next four seasons, or until after the 2011 season. When Pujols got his contract, he was 24 years old and three years away away from free agency. By giving him a four year contract, the Cardinals bought Pujols out of his first four years of free agency and locked him up until age 31, through his assumed peak years. The Phillies already have Howard under their control through age 31 without giving him a contract extension.

2. According to Baseball Reference's most comparable players to Ryan Howard at age 27, two of them also had very similar body types to Howard, Cecil Fielder and Mo Vaughn. Let's look at both guy's OPS+ after age 26:

Fielder
26: 167
27: 133
28: 117
29: 124
30: 113
31: 111
32: 108
33: 101
34: 86

Vaughn
26: 146
27: 144
28: 150
29: 152
30: 153
31: 119
32: 115
33: 113
35: 73

As can be seen from above, both guys saw their production dip tremendously at one point, Fielder at age 28 and Vaughn at age 31, and never saw it return to its previous levels. So while Howard has been tremendous the last two years, there should be some trepidation on the Phillies' part to give him to long of a contract extension.

Right now, I think the Phillies should try to get him to sign for three years at 30 million with the contract breaking out as $8.5 million in 2008, $10.0 in 2009, and $11.5 million in 2010. I think that is a win-win for both sides. And then in 2011, we can have all out war.

Simple Math

2008-01-06T13:52:00.002-05:00

I understand that NFL coaches are paid to devise plays and motivate their players and not for their math skills. But one would think that a team could hire a math nerd to sit on the sidelines and tell them when to kick an extra point and when to go for a two point conversion, as opposed to relying on former NFL players to make these decision.

Case in point:

In the fourth quarter of last night's Steelers/Jaguars game, the Steelers scored a touchdown with 10:25 left in the game to cut the Jaguars lead to 28-23. Instead of kicking the extra point and making it a four point game, the Steelers decided to go for two. With the amount of scoring that had already occurred in the game as well as the fact that there was over ten minutes left on the clock, I would have kicked the extra point and tried to hold the Jaguars to a field goal for the rest of the game. The two point conversion is successful around 40-50 percent of the time (I don't knows the exact number for 2007). The Steelers wanted to make it a three point game, went for two, and got it on a great catch and throw from Roethlisberger to Ward.

But hold on a second, there was holding on the play which meant the down would have to be re-played and the ball would be spotted at the 12. At this point, the conversion rate probably falls down to 10-20% and it is an automatic to kick the extra point, try to hold the Jaguars to three points for the rest of the game and score a touchdown to tie the score.

Unfortunately for Steelers fans, Mike Tomlin does not believe in "probabilities". He thought it was still a good decision to go for two from the 12 yard line and it didn't pan out, leaving the score 28-23 in the Jaguars favor. The Steelers scored another touchdown, putting them in the lead 29-28, went for two again and it failed. Jaguars marched down the field on their last drive, kicked a field goal and won the game.

This was a simple math problem that the Steelers' coaching staff failed atrociously.

A big win in big D - for the future

2007-12-18T11:24:00.000-05:00

Even though they are mathematically out of the playoffs after last night's Vikings victory, it's always nice for the Eagles to beat up on their biggest one-sided rival, the Cowboys. I say one-sided because Cowboys fans generally do not consider the Eagles to be their most hated foe. Anyway, it was a nice victory, and featured a renewed mobility from Donovan McNabb, who obviously wants to showcase to the rest of the teams in the league that he is ready to be their quarterback. Ii seems that he can't stay here considering the words he has spoken this year. He's made it obvious he wants out, and no one should blame him. But what would next year bring if he does stay and is back to level approaching his old form, which was pretty damn good?

The fact is this team is not as bad as everyone, inlcuding myself in recent weeks, thinks. They have the best running back in the NFC, an offensive line that's decent when the QB can move/doesn't hold the ball for 18 seconds, a sad and terrible WR corps as they have most years, and slighly above average pass and run defenses. The special teams have been atrocious, but can be fixed. Akers (hopefully) just had an off year, and they can always find kick and punt returners. The Sav Rocca novelty also has worn thin; he's just not a good punter. But again, special teams are something which can be fixed in one offseason.

The Eagles could easily be 9-5 and heading to the playoffs with the talent assembled. Who is to say that next year, with a healthy McNabb, they wouldn't realize that potential and make a run in the playoffs? They're not in the same position as teams like Chicago, which is a recently good team in need of a complete overhaul. They're more like the Bengals; a good team that had some bad breaks this year.

Hopefully, we will get a chance to see what happens with McNabb under center next year. Despite all his jockeying, Reid and Joe Banner say he's staying, and I do hope Donovan will have a change of heart in the offseason. And if he doesn't, well, fuck him.

Where is the real Willie Green?

2007-12-13T09:05:00.000-05:00

In the month of December, Willie Green is shooting 57% from the field, and averaging 1.29 points per shot. And in his last 3 games, he's been to the free throw line 10 times, which for him is a huge triumph. His only really bad game this month was against Boston, which is the greatest team ever by most accounts from people who are Celtics fans.

Of course, he still can't rebound, pass, handle, or defend, but this post isn't about that. Instead, it is intended to congratulate our friend Willie for showing that, as we all knew, Billy King is to blame. Billy King was holding him back. "But wait", you say, "that makes no sense. Billy King was the GM and President, not the frigging coach. He's not responsible." Or is he? Something to think about, friends.

In other Philly sports news, Aaron Rowand has signed with the Giants for $219 billion over 15 years. Or something. In any case, they WAY overpaid for a guy with a career.805 OPS and who won a dubious Gold Glove this year. But contrary to popular belief, I'll miss Rowand. He was fun to watch and I did like his approach to the game, even if that approach does not make him the elite player people here like to believe he is.

HE'S FINALLY GONE!

2007-12-04T18:41:00.000-05:00

Bye bye, Billy King. I'd say "Bon Voyage", but I just found out that's not French for "Fuck you, thank Christ you're leaving." Which totally changes the context of the film Bon Voyage, Charlie Brown.

The Enemy Within

2007-12-01T12:44:00.000-05:00

It seems as though Ed Wade is doing his best to ruin the Houston Astros' chances of competing for the playoffs before they even play one game.

Like most other analysts, I thought the Phillies got the better of the Brad Lidge/Michael Bourn trade, though Wade has always been obsessed with the idea of a speedy guy at the top of the lineup. But his latest move is just mind blowing.

The Astros reportedly have agreed with free-agent second baseman Kaz Matsui on a three-year contract worth $15 million.

Maybe Wade thought he was signing Hideki Matsui. Three years and 15 million dollars for Kaz Matsui? I can think of a number of reasons why this is going to turn out to be a disaster for the Astros.

1. Kaz Matsui has a career OBP of .325. Before he went to the hitters paradise that is Coors Field, his career OBP was .314. Atrocious is a word that comes to mind when I look at those numbers.

2. At first glance, Matsui's numbers for 2007 look decent enough, .747 OPS with 32 stolen bases. All one has to do is look at his home/road splits to see how much Coors Field pumped up his numbers. On the road, he put up .249/.304/.333. Yes, you are reading that right, on the road Matsui produced an OPS of .637 that would make Abraham Nunez proud.

3. Matsui's only decent attribute is his base stealing ability. He is 32 years old. Hmmmm, I wonder what age does to baseball players that rely on speed?

With Bourn and Matsui at the top of the lineup, I imagine there will be quite a few instances this year when the Astros #3 batter is up with two outs in the first inning.

The Soft Pretzel Factory

2007-11-29T21:03:00.000-05:00

You know when things aren't going your way? When you try to throw a FF game and your team scores two TDs in the first quarter of the Thursday night game. Grrrr.

Anyways, it is very slow now in the Philadelphia sports world as the vultures continue to circle and have started to peck at Donovan McNabb to see if still able to fight back. So as opposed to ranting about one issue, I will take on a few issues.

According to Jayson Stark, there are six teams trying to sign Randy Wolf but the Phillies amped up their pursuit this week by getting nearly every one of their top executives on the phone with him personally.

I'm glad that Pat Gillick and the Phillies are modeling their free agency pursuits after the college football recruiting process. I think the next step is for them to give his brother a job as the assistant athletic director. Seriously, if they want to sign Wolf, give him a two year deal. But don't leak stories like these to Jayson Stark. It just makes the Phillies front office come off more out of touch than they even are.

Recent internet rumors have Andre Miller being traded to the Miami Heat for Jason Williams.

You know when would have been a good time to trade Andre Miller? Six months ago before the draft to a team like the Atlanta Hawks who had two first round picks and really needed a point guard. But why get maximum value for one of your assets when you can wait a year and get fifty cents on the dollar? That's Billy King's motto and he's sticking to it.

Miller is averaging 5.1 assists per 40 minutes. That is two assists lower than his previous career low. While his shooting percentage has been decent, his value lies in the fact that he is a traditional point guard. And those skills are obviously starting to deteriorate. As opposed to getting actual value for Miller, the Sixers will probably end up taking expiring contracts so Billy King can figure out a way to further screw up the Sixers 2008 off-season.

According to the Philadelphia Daily News worthless new Phillies beat writer Steve King, the Phillies are rumored to be interested in trading for Orioles third baseman Melvin Mora.

In order to "break" this story, Steve King took a story from the Baltimore Sun and reprinted it. This would work in 1987 when people outside of Baltimore did not have access to the Baltimore Sun. Unfortunately the year is 2007 and we all have the Internet.

Now as far as Melvin Mora goes, there is one interesting fact about him that stands out to me: He stinks. He stunk last year and he stunk in 2006. His last good year was 2005. MLB started testing for performance enhancing drugs after 2005. Coincidence? Maybe, but I like accusing rich people of illegalities so bare with me. He will also be 36 at the start of this season and has two years left on his contract for a total of 18 million dollars.

Even when Aaron Rowand leaves, the Phillies will still have a good offense. Will it be head and shoulders above the rest of the NL like it was last year? Probably not. But the slight upgrade that Mora provides over the Phillies' current options is definitely not worth paying 9 million a year for.

Last night against the Utah Jazz, Willie Green went to the free throw line a season high 7 times, making 6 of them.

He also went 2-10 from the field to reduce his shooting percentage on the year to a chilly .376. For the year, Whistlin Willie is averaging a scorching 0.95 points per shot attempt. If the Sixers as a team averaged 0.95 points per shot attempt, they would score 75 points a night. Willie also currently ranks 258th out of 300 players in John Hollinger's Player Efficiency Ratings.

Seriously, can the Sixers just trade Miller, sit Green and see if Louis Williams and Iguodala can play in the back court together? Enough already.

Should Donovan McNabb be killed?

2007-11-26T14:00:00.000-05:00

(This is a super serious editorial I have written to broaden our appeal to Philadelphia sports fans)

After last night's clear moral victory that strangely still counts as a loss according to the archaic NFL rules, it's plainer than ever that AJ Feeley is, without hyperbole, the best quarterback in Eagles' history. But it seems there is still a question as to whether he will remain the starter this Sunday or if he will be replaced by the listless, decrepit, and Holocaust-denying Donovan McNabb. It is this quarterback controversy which leads us to the true fundamental question the Eagles must face as they head into their showdown with the Seahawks and their final 5 games of the season- should Donovan McNabb be bound and gagged and thrown into an active volcano, or shouldn't he?

As recently as 2004 I would have said "NO. Do not kill Donovan McNabb, even if it is to feed hungry pitbulls who would gladly feast on his innards." But in the bright glow of the radiance of AJ Feeley, I'm not so sure I'm opposed to the concept. On paper, the case can be made that Donovan should be this team's quarterback. He's had an excellent career and they've won a whole lot of games with him at the helm. But on another sheet of paper, I have drawn a picture of Donovan being horribly mangled in the propeller of a large airplane, and it just feels right.

There are other reasons to take McNabb out behind the Linc and put two in his skull as well. For one, he still hasn't won a Super Bowl. AJ Feeley hasn't won one either, but at least he wants to. McNabb probably would rather get injured than win, because that's what he likes to do. Also, McNabb has never won the MVP. AJ Feeley basically sealed his MVP award last night by throwing an equal amount of interceptions and touchdowns, demonstrating that the balance he brings to the Eagles is unparalleled, and that McNabb needs to be assassinated via injection with ricin pellets like Bulgarian dissident Georgi Markov was in 1978.

Is it the end of the world if Number 5 isn't crushed by one of those swinging two-tree thingys like the AT-ST was during the Battle of Endor in Return of the Jedi? Of course not. Even if he returns to being the starter, there is always a chance that AJ Feeley will grant McNabb an audience and then tutor him. And he'll probably end up injured again anyway, since he doesn't play hard and is always getting hurt because of it. But why risk a McNabb return when you can guarantee several years of Feeley (and therefore Super Bowl wins and low unemployment with low inflation)just by inserting an ice pick into the base of his skull? It's the only unselfish choice for the team, and for America.

A Formula For Success

2007-11-24T17:19:00.000-05:00

The Sixers currently have two guys in their starting lineup, Andre Miller and Guess Who, averaging less than a point per shot attempt. And people wonder why this team is in the bottom 5 of team offensive efficiency.

Fixing the stupid Eagles

2007-11-07T11:07:00.000-05:00

As evidenced by the loss to Dallas Sunday night, the Eagles are not very good right now. Of course, Dallas is an awesome team. They are a team so good that they don’t even have to help my fantasy football team and start their best running back. But if they can’t even make a game of it at home against hated rival Dallas (hated by the fans anyway), how can they compete against anyone? They are in turmoil. But what to do what to do? Addressed here are 3 common sentiments that have been read/heard in the past few days about how to fix the Eagles.

Fire Andy Reid

Perhaps this is not so crazy, and it's the only one of the 3 sentiments I can agree with. If a team with talent is not performing, the coach is usually the prime suspect as to why. But he shouldn't be let go because the BS going on with his anus-pill loving sons is limiting his ability to focus (a garbage theory), but because maybe he’s no longer capable of outcoaching his competitors. A lot of folks will tell you he never was anyway, but the fact is that the Eagles have had a good offense for much of Reid’s tenure. Now it seems though that many teams have figured his game plans out and he refuses to/can’t adapt. And then there are the accusations of stupid play calls and poor clock management, which have plagued his coaching career here. But the biggest knock on him this year, and one that is well deserved, is the ineptitude in the red zone. The Eagles rank 8th in the NFL in total yards and 20th in points. It’s a crude measurement of their non-success, but telling- and it’s also part of a 3-season trend.

Now, most of these charges have been leveled against him before around mid-season, which then resulted in a change in planning (or the planning started working well) and a late season surge into the playoffs. But with the crew they have now? This is unlikely. Even if Sacky McNabb and Co. play better (and they actually have not been as bad as many people think, other than the constant sacks), the secondary is still a mess and the special teams other than Akers make me gag like the kitten poo I’ve been cleaning up all week. But the biggest hurdle is that at 3-5, they have almost no room for error. But errors likely will be made. Like McNabb taking sacks. And playing the Patriots.

Of course if the Eagles turn it around and miraculously sneak into the playoffs, then Reid’s job will likely be safe. But if they finish 6-10 again like 2005? They’ll probably fire him, or he’ll be poisoned by an angry fan. Everyone can blame Reid’s failure on the distraction caused by his two jailbird kids, but everyone should know it’s only because Andy Reid's coaching has apparently gotten stale.

There is another option I will be called a crazy person for suggesting- instead of firing Reid, maybe they should fire Jim Johnson. The guy is hailed as a genius, but the fact is the Eagles defense has been in a decline since 2004. From 2000-2004, the Eagles were in the top 5 in points allowed every season except 2003, when they were 7th. They haven’t been in the top-10 in PA since. Last year, they ranked 6th in points scored and 15th in points allowed. Part of that is injuries and personnel changes, but good coaches deal well with those. And fire Mornigwheg too.

Bench McNabb (and trade him after the season)

Screw the benching crap. You want to bench him for a rookie who the coach you all say can’t think straight says is the QB of the future? McNabb has been hit with so many sacks this year that he’s making Lance Bass jealous, but he hasn’t been as awful as everyone thinks throwing the ball. He’s just not readjusting to his new running limitations very well. Pulling him out now will not help him if he’s ever going to learn to play well again. Regarding the trade possibilities- I hate the idea of trading a perceived superstar, as you’ll see below.

Trade Westbrook

A terrible, terrible idea. He’s the best player on the team. And they’ll never get decent value for him in a trade. A few people seem to have this dream of trading Westbrook for a massive package of draft picks, a la Herschel Walker or Ricky Williams. Not happening. Too many teams learned from those mistakes, and pulling off a big trade in the NFL is a much different proposition than in the other leagues. He also has 3 years left on his contract and is actually still underpaid based on his performance, making him worth having on their salary cap. He doesn’t even have a ton of mileage on him compared to other 6th year running backs. Trading him after this season would be more retarded than 1,000 retards acting retarded.

John Smallwood Must Not Know Who the Sixers' GM Is

2007-11-03T10:41:00.001-04:00

From Smallwood's column on the Iguodala negotiations:

If the fourth-year swingman does not continue his progress and perform to the level anticipated this season, or if he suffers a devastating injury, he could have potentially blown tens of millions of guaranteed dollars in pursuit of a bigger payday.

Does he know something about Billy King's future that we don't? Because I don't think he's talking about the Sixers' Billy King and their history of re-signing their own. Let's go into the time machine and go back to the summer of 2005, shall we?

July 2005: Billy King is ready to overpay another player, this time Willie Green. Green is offered a deal for around 6 years, 20 million dollars.

August 2005: Willie Green suffers knee injury playing a pickup game. Apparently it was inflicted by one of his own teammates after Green shot the ball for the 17th time in the team's last 17 possessions.

August 2005: Billy King does not pull the contract offer, instead he puts it on "hold". Because as had been proven before, Billy King isn't addicted to crystal meth or candy. He gets his high from overpaying his own players, and he'll be damned if a minor setback like a torn knee ligament is going to keep him from getting his fix.

August 2005: Green goes under the knife.

April 2006: Green returns from his knee injury. He plays the remaining ten games of the season and shoots a career best 42.4% from the field.

July 2006: Because of the intense demand for unproven shooting guards coming off serious knee injuries, Billy King does not waste any time getting Willie Green's signature on a contract. Based on the 150 minutes that he played in April, King essentially offers Green the exact same contract that he did the previous offseason, five years for 17 million dollars. Rumor has it that Green's agent was so eager to sign the contract that he allowed Willie slice open his artery because they didn't have a pen lying around the desk. The agent survived, but spent three weeks in the hospital.

Currently: Willie Green is still the same lousy player that he has always been. But at least King has him under contract through the 2009/10 season.

Has Billy King learned his lesson? Of course not. It probably took quite a few sessions with the Sixers prescribe hypnotist to restrain King from offering Iguodala a max contract. And come next July, I'm sure that he won't hesitate to offer Iguodala more money than Igoudala was currently asking for to prevent him from testing free agency. But if the Sixers want to reach their goal of consistently being the eighth seed in the playoffs, then there is not better man to lead them than Billy King.

To The Dummies Who Don't Get It

2007-11-01T00:01:00.000-04:00

First, if you think Willie Green is a good player, this is not the blog for you. Yes, I understand he works hard and is a "sparkplug" and all that bullshit. But he has no place starting for ANY NBA team.

Second, there is a difference between scoring points and scoring points efficiently. If someone on average needs 20 shots to score 20 points, as Green would based on his career points per shot numbers, they're actually not doing a good job of scoring efficiently. Points per shot takes into account more than FG%- it's simply the total points scored (from FG's and FT's) divided by the field goals a player attempted.

For example, Andre Iguodala, an actual good player, scored 1.4 points per shot (18.2 PPG on 13 SPG) he that took last season. That is someone you want taking shots. So is Dwight Howard- he put up a monster 1.65 PPS last year. Willie Green averaged less than one point per shot he took- that is AWFUL. When Willie Green is firing away, it costs the Sixers wins because there are other players on the team can score more points on fewer shots. It's about maximizing each offensive possession. Having Willie Green out there makes that difficult.

If the simple math we're pulling out here is too complex or seems stupid to you, you're not going to enjoy what we write. Feel free to bash us, but you will not change our opinions. We're not the rah-rah, intangibles and hustle matter more than ability and skill types here. We don't say they don't matter, but they also don't make up for lack of talent.

You Crack Me Up Phil Jasner

2007-10-31T10:03:00.000-04:00

From his article today previewing the Sixers' season:

In order to find enjoyment and fascination in the season, it will help to focus on:

* The return to form of scoring guard Willie Green, a full year removed from knee surgery.

My question is, wh-wh-what? When has Willie Green ever shown any form to actually return to?

Per Basketball Reference, here are Willie Green's Per 40 Minute numbers on a yearly basis:

      FG  FGA   3P  3PA   FT  FTA  TRB  AST STL  TO  PTS
03-04 7.5 18.6 1.0  3.2  3.1  4.2  3.4  2.8 1.4 3.1 19.0
04-05 5.8 15.9 1.1  3.9  3.6  4.7  5.0  3.8 1.3 2.8 16.4
05-06 7.3 17.3 2.6  5.0  1.0  1.3  3.9  1.3 0.5 3.1 18.3
06-07 7.8 18.8 1.1  3.4  1.6  2.4  3.4  2.4 1.2 2.3 18.2

Pssst, Phil....Willie Green has always been the same lousy player. In order to score 20 points, he needs to take 20 shots. He doesn't go to the free throw line. And he doesn't pass the ball.

Willie Green Stat of the Day

2007-10-29T18:34:00.000-04:00

Willie Green has played four seasons in the NBA for a total of 194 games. In those 194 games, he has attempted 1714 shots. And scored 1710 points.

I wonder if there is anyone closer to exactly a 1.0 points per shot ratio than Willie Green.

Sixers Question of the Day

2007-10-24T22:29:00.001-04:00

Why is Andre Igoudala playing 38 minutes in an exhibition game against the Knicks?

a) Mo Cheeks thought the season started this week.
b) They need to evaluate whether Igoudala can play center in Dalembert's absence.
c) It is beyond possible to comprehend such a move.

It's Willie Green Season, Folks!

2007-10-10T20:33:00.000-04:00

Yes, we know. We kind of let the whole "Phillies Playoff Hysteria" go unnoticed here. We've been busy. And by busy, I mean lazy. But that will cease to exist as of now, because it is our favorite time of the year: The NBA Pre-Season. It is finally time for the City of Philadelphia to rally together and truly get excited by an event: Willie Green starting at shooting guard for the Philadelphia 76ers.

The praise for Willie has been unending so far this year.

Maurice Cheeks - "I think Willie has been great"

Marc Narducci, Philadelphia Inquirer Beat Writer - "He (Green) has looked strong in camp, especially in taking the ball to the basket. In 2005-06 (Mark's Note: This year is the 2007-08 season), Green missed all but the final 10 games after recovering from surgery on his left knee."

Phil Jasner, Philadelphia Daily News Beat Writer: "Willie Green, who started at shooting guard, showed some of the willingness to drive hard to the basket that was missing last season, his first after knee surgery."

Well actually, that is all that has appeared in print. But it does seem like a lot of compliments for a player of Willie's stature. That stature being one of, if not the, worst player currently in the National Basketball Association.

In case you were wondering, the main reason that this blog started is because Jim and I would spend days emailing each other about how terrible Willie Green was last season. Before the season starts, we will put out a Debunking The Myths About Willie Green, but for now, I'll leave you with John Hollinger, NBA Expert, and his opinion on Willie Green.

Green had been in the NBA for four years without offering a shred of a reason why he belongs, yet the Sixers gave him a five-year, $17 million deal in the summer of 2006. What a country. Last season he started 36 games because the Sixers remain delusional about his talents, and he managed a career-best Player Efficiency Rating -- one that ranked him 55th out of the league's 66 shooting guards. Theoretically, Green is a scorer. He had one of the highest usage rates among shooting guards, but it's questionable whether this was a good thing.

Green can't make shots -- his true shooting percentage was the fourth-worst at his position -- and he lacks either the talent or the inclination to pass, as his assist ratio was a matching fourth-worst as well. His biggest weakness is a curious inability to draw fouls. Green drives to the basket a decent amount, as more than a third of his shots came in the immediate basket area, but only two guards earned fewer free-throw attempts per field-goal attempt than he did. He's a lousy finisher too, making 45.9 percent of his shots in that area.

Green did better from outside, hitting a respectable 42.3 percent of his long 2s, but if that's all you've got it's a tough way to make a living. He made only 32.5 percent of his 3-pointers and must vastly improve from out there or start drawing a few fouls if he's going to be a viable NBA shooting guard.

And for those of you keeping score at home, Willie took 10 shots against the Knicks in Game 1. And scored 10 points. You wonder why the Sixers are giving away tickets for free? Look no further than #33.

Congrats to Ryan Howard

2007-09-27T20:45:00.000-04:00

And it took him just 141 games played to do so. Adam Dunn had 195 in 161 games. Eat it, Adam Dunn.

PHILADELPHIA (AP) -- Ryan Howard struck out for the 196th time Thursday to set the single-season major league record.

In the third inning of Philadelphia's game against Atlanta, Howard swung at and missed a down-and-away splitter from John Smoltz for strike three.

The Phillies' first baseman broke the mark established in 2004 by Adam Dunn of the Cincinnati Reds.

Last season's NL MVP, Howard hit his 44th homer in the first inning, a two-run shot that gave him 130 RBIs.

UPDATE: PHILS WIN! METS LOSE!

Quick Prediction

2007-09-22T22:27:00.000-04:00

Eagles 19
Lions 13

Dr. Pigskin's Prescriptions

2007-09-18T21:34:00.000-04:00

Every (or at least this) week Dr. Pigskin prescribes the proper remedies to what ails the Eagles and/or one of the players. As well as posting here, Dr. Pigskin also calls his prescription in to the local CVS Pharmacist and has him deliver it to Lincoln Financial Field. No one ever questions Dr. Pigskin. Because, ladies and gentlemen, he is a doctor.

Today's Patient: The Philadelphia Eagles' Offense
Symptoms: Stagnant, Inability to Produce in the Red Zone, Wide Receivers Having Difficult Time Creating Separation, Just Not Very Good
Length of Symptoms: Two Weeks

Very interesting. You say you've been experiencing these symptoms for two weeks? And you're nervous that if you don't get better soon, your situation could become dire? Well don't you worry. Just follow my directions, and you'll be as good as ever by next Sunday. OK? Great. Now here is my prescription.

1. Run the Ball. Consistently. You have one of the best Center-Guard combinations in the NFL in Jamaal Jackson and Shaun Andrews, even if Andrews isn't completely healthy. You should be able to dictate the tempo running behind these two guys. No one is going to buy your play action fakes on second and third down if they don't actually believe you are going to run the ball. And while you are at it, maybe have Bryan Westbrook and Correll Buckhalter in the same backfield for a few plays a game. Put one of them in motion and see if the defense lines a safety or linebacker over them. This will create a little unpredictability which I think you could use right now.

2. Put Some Receivers in Motion. I hear that my dear old friend, Ron "Baby Button" (don't ask) Jaworski, also made this suggestion on Monday night. And I have to agree with Double B. If your wide receivers are having a tough time beating the bump off the line of scrimmage, then teams are going to keep jamming them. Add a little motion and force the defenders to play a few yards off of them. It can't hurt and may add some confidence to your receivers.

3. Use the Middle of the Field. I know, I know, your starting tight end, LJ Smith, is still recovering from an injury. But you have backup tight ends right? I'm not saying they need to be running down the seam every play, but at least get them involved in the offense. If the corners start to give the wide receivers some breathing room, have them run some slants as well. Until Donovan McNabb is completely healthy, you need to keep things simple and easy for him. Short routes in the middle of the field accomplish that task.

Sounds simple right? Well, it is. But the only way I can guarantee success is if you stick to the plan. If you try and self medicate or only use the plan for one half, you'll probably just regress to your current state. Hopefully it goes well, and I'll see you next week.

Where have I seen this before?

2007-09-18T17:00:00.001-04:00

In 2003, the Eagles started out 0-2. In the first 2 games, they were outscored a total of 48-10 by an okay Tampa Bay team and a Pats team that, while very good, was coming off a shocking 31-0 drubbing by Buffalo. Donovan McNabb in those first 2 games was a combined 37-82 for 334 yards, with 3 INT and ZERO touchdown passes. He did run for 55 yards in each game, but that didn't help- they got completely throttled in back to back games. The entire city was in a shambles, and several thousand men jumped to their deaths from the Walt Whitman Bridge. What oh what was wrong with the Eagles? And of course those 2 lost games led to the Eagles having a horrible 4-12 season.

Oh, wait, NO THEY DIDN'T. The Eagles won 12 of their next 14 games, won the NFC East, beat a great Packers team in the divisional round in a classic game, cured several forms of bone cancer, and then sadly blew it against Carolina in the NFC Championship Game. The 0-2 start became a distant memory, which judging by the reaction to the young 2007 season is a completely obvious statement.

These 2007 Eagles do have obvious problems. Reid/Mornhinweg have done a bad job calling the offense, McNabb is not even at 80%, the secondary depth is thin, the special teams' coverage and return skills are terrible, and the receiving corps is as lively as as Pavarotti's corpse. But man, do you remember who their leading receiver was in 2003? James Thrash. They almost made the Super Bowl with Thrash and Pinkston leading the team in receiving. That's way more amazing than if they were to make it that far with Reggie Brown and Kevin Curtis.

My initial optimism going into this season has been dampened somewhat too. I drank way too much McNabb Kool-Aid going in, forgetting that almost no one can come back 100% from an ACL tear this quickly. And I admit my 12-4 prediction is now going to be a bit off. But this is still a playoff team in the weak NFC. However if they lose to Detroit this week, then I'll join everyone on their "Eagles are a disaster" crazy party bus.

That Was Not Very Good

2007-09-18T07:12:00.000-04:00

Well, the Eagles got beat by another average football team. I thought it was best summarized by Steve Young after the game when asked to describe the Redskins performance in one word, and he just stared at the camera until he could come up with "Efficient".

There is blame to go all around for this one.

Donovan McNabb still looks like a quarterback recovering from ACL surgery. There are a lot of throws that he is currently missing on that a healthy Donovan McNabb makes easily. Some of it is timing, like the deep balls, and some of it is his leg. Why these players feel the need to rush back from ACL surgery is beyond me? It probably cost Daunte Culpepper his career and Carson Palmer was not fully healthy until the start of this season.

As was discussed ad nauseum last night, the receivers are having a very difficult time getting open, especially when they are being jammed at the line. I agree that LaRon Landry made a great play at the end of the game, but Kevin Curtis has to figure out a way to tuck that catch away. I imagine the immediate knee-jerk reaction will be for fans to pine for the days of TO. I'm not nearly at that stage. Reggie Brown showed last year that he can be a very good receiver in the NFL. For some reason, he has not shown up to play yet this year. Hopefully he realizes that for the Eagles to succeed, he needs to step his game up.

But my real problem with the Eagles right now is the coaching. They are not giving the players the best chance to succeed. I have usually supported the Eagles coaching staff in the past when it comes to playcalling. But last night they seemed to be using the running game as a way to give the receivers a quick breather on first down. The Eagles have a very good running game when they decide to use it. Yet Brian Westbrook only had 17 carries last night.

The most disconcerting trend last night was the Eagles reliance on McNabb once they got inside Washington's 25 yard line. According to my counting, the Eagles ran 25 plays inside Washington's 25 yard line, and only 2 of those plays were running plays to Westbrook. They tried to get him the ball in the open field with some short passes, but obviously the Redskins were keying on him during passing plays and taking their chances with the Eagles receivers making plays.

Washington is an average team. Green Bay is an average team. Both teams played essentially not to lose, and they ended up not losing. I'm not ready to write off the Eagles season yet, mainly because the NFC is awful, but they are in a big hole right now.

---------------------------------

It is time for the Tony Kornheiser Experiment to end. I will preface this by saying that I love Tony Kornheiser. Using the written word to express humor is one of the most difficult things in life. But he is one of the few newspaper columnists in the country that is actually funny. And I love his radio show, which was billed as sports talk radio, but rarely discussed sports. With that said, he is terrible on Monday Night Football. The only substance he "adds" to the telecast are the random statistics that the producers feed him. He has essentially become an audible computer graphic. And this has been made even more glaring by putting Ron Jaworski in the booth. Jaws has quickly become the best football analyst on TV. So you have Jaworski breaking down a play immediately after it happened, then you have Kornheiser adding, "Aww, c'mon Jaws, you're just saying that because you're rooting for the Eagles".

The third quarter of last night's game was basically unwatchable with Kornheiser and Charles Barkley making the same three points for forty five minutes; McNabb and Reid don't get a fair shake, Philadelphia fans are brutal, the Eagles wide receivers have always been bad, save the TO year. It seemed like they told Jaworski to just sit that quarter out. Fortunately for me, Anthony Bourdain was in South Carolina eating BBQ, so it was an easy choice to flip over to The Travel Channel.

At some point the NFL has to step in and tell ESPN, "Listen, we appreciate you guys trying to bring more viewers to the broadcast, but we're the N F Friggin L. We are the most popular sport in the country, and it isn't even close. Just broadcast the game and people will watch it. You don't need to have a late night talk show in the booth during the third quarter. People are watching the game because they want to watch a football game. Also, fire Chris Berman while you are at it. He annoys us"

-------------------------------------

Does anyone really believe that the Arizona Diamondbacks are going to make the playoffs?

IT WAS ONE GAME!

2007-09-17T12:23:00.000-04:00

The latest and greatest in overreacting Philly sports writing garbage comes courtesy of Rich Hoffman in today's Daily News.

Hofmann takes a look at the Green Bay game last week and makes the assumption that McNabb's unimpressive performance means he could be washed up. That's a big statement to make after the amazingly small sample size of one frigging game. Also, it was one measly game against a team with a very good defense, who were playing at home. And Hoffman ignores the dropped passes by the Eagles receivers. Those are counted in McNabb's passing stats, you know.

Obviously McNabb is a step slower right now- for one thing, he's not 25 anymore. And he is also just coming off MAJOR RECONSTRUCTIVE SURGERY. Call me crazy, but this could be a reason he's not able to run around as well as he used to. It's pretty commonly believed than an ACL tear has a 2 year recovery period. So chances are we're not going to see a lot of leg magic out of McNabb this season. Boo hoo. But this hardly means he's washed up, or that he's going to have 15 more games like last Sunday's. I'm so tired of these doomsaying columnists who say the sky is falling when in reality it's just sagging a bit.

Muff Lovers

2007-09-09T22:07:00.001-04:00

It's no secret that J.R. Reed and Greg Lewis are going to shoulder most of the blame for this loss because they obviously hate both America and fielding punts correctly. But their buttery fingers and bad judgment aside, the offense should be shouldering quite a bit of the blame as well. The dropped passes killed a few drives, the penalties were too numerous (of course, one is too numerous) and McNabb was inaccurate at times, partially because of lapses in pass blocking. Spotting the Packers 10 points on cruddy turnovers shouldn't have been the difference; the Eagles offense should have made sure those points didn't matter and hung at least 21 points on the Packers.

The defense, especially the d-line, Sheldon Brown, and Takeo Spikes, played great. While the Packers are hardly the team to gauge the effectiveness of your run defense against, the Eagles didn't embarrass themselves by getting run over and in fact they played very well.

The bottom line is that this is the first game of the year and the Eagles lost to a decent team in their home stadium. The offense will click, the special teams will (because they have to) improve, and the team will be just fine. Just don't let Greg Lewis or J.R. Reed hold your kid unless you hate him or her and want them to be dropped and roll 20 yards away.

Oh, and good job Phillies. That Pat Burrell sure is something.

Ugh

2007-09-05T23:02:00.001-04:00

Well. At least we're not fans of the Orioles. That is about the best thing I can say at this point.

FLASH... AHAHHH....second worst pitcher in the universe

2007-09-05T21:18:00.000-04:00

FLASH... AHAHHHH... you pissed on all of us

Yeah, that's right; I'm claiming Tom Gordon is the second worst pitcher in the entire universe. Right next to Brett Myers. They should have their pensions revoked after what they did today.

NFL Preview

2007-09-04T10:00:00.000-04:00

Back from the Labor Day camping trip, I now give you my NFL predictions, which will be rendered moot by injuries like they are every year and are basically pointless filler while I try to comprehend what the hell happened to the Phillies while I was living in nature for 4 days without any connection to the outside world-

NFC East
Eagles- 12-4
This is obviously hugely optimistic. But the division isn't that strong, and there's no reason to believe they won't be better than they were last season. They have one of the best offensive lines in football, a great QB who hopefully doesn't need a leg amputated this year, Brian Westbrook, good d-line depth, a very good secondary as long as Sean Considine learns to play football, and a punter from a country founded as a prison colony. The main concerns are the linebackers and the receiving corps, but we've all heard that before. Big things will and should be expected from this team in 2007.

Cowboys- 9-7
Giants- 7-9
Redskins- 7-9

NFC North
Bears- 10-6
The defense will actually go 10 and 0. Rex Grossman will go 0 and 6.
Vikings- 8-8
Packers- 7-9
Lions- 6-10

NFC South
Saints- 11-5
The 2007 Phillies of the NFL. Great offense, awful pitching, which in this case means linebackers and secondary.
Panthers- 10-6
Buccaneers- 8-8
Falcons- 2-14

NFC West
Seahawks- 10-6
49ers- 9-7
Rams- 8-8
The Rams seem to define mediocrity. If the Ram was a zodiac sign, and it may be actually, it would stand for "Averageness".
Cards- 4-12

Playoffs- Eagles, Bears, Saints, Seahawks, Panthers, 49ers
NFC Champs- Eagles

AFC East
Patriots- 13-3
The big story with them was adding Randy Moss. But the bigger story is actually them being confident enough to keep Richard Seymour in cryogenic suspension for the first 6 weeks of the season. This is a deep team. Barring Tom Brady getting hurt or quitting football to spend more time concentrating on getting all the choice tail he can, they will rampage through they league.
Jets- 9-7
Bills- 6-10
Dolphins 5-11

AFC North
Baltimore- 11-5
Bengals- 10-6
Steelers- 9-7
The potential lack of a running game is way more disconcerting than the potential of another Big Ben meltdown.
Cleveland- 8-8

AFC South-
Colts- 10-6
Jags- 8-8
What the hell is up with ditching Leftwich for a guy who would probably only be above average in the Arena League? It's no secret that Del Rio had it in for him, but it's going to cost them 2 or more wins.
Titans- 7-9
Texans- 4-12

AFC West-
Broncos- 11-5
Chargers- 8-8
Norv Turner. HAHAHAHAHA. Enjoy.
Chiefs- 6-10
Raiders- 3-13

Playoff teams- Patriots, Ravens, Colts, Broncos, Bengals, Steelers
AFC Champs- Patriots

And for the 5th straight year, my prediction is that the Eagles and Pats will face off in the Super Bowl, only this year, I predict the Eagles will prevail. Nah, just kidding. I pick the Patriots to win the whole thing.

Go Phils! (and a statement on domestic terrorism and the media)

2007-08-29T15:39:00.001-04:00

Well the Phillies sure are doing well. Adam Eaton just about gave me an erection last night with his adequate pitching. But they still need to take 1 of these next 2. And with the way Jamie Moyer's been pitching, things aren't looking good for tonight.

And now for something with a tenuous connection to sports- Richard Jewell, the man who was accused of the 1996 Atlanta Olympics bombing, died today. He was on the receiving end of one of the great screw jobs in American media history, being vilified by every major media outlet just for fitting the profile of the type of suspect people love to hate. The guy's life was ruined; long after he was cleared by the government, people still thought of him as the Centennial Park bomber, who actually turned out to be far-right nutcase and serial bomber Eric Rudolph. Jewell in fact was responsible only for saving the lives of several people in the area that day.

The article here is the Atlanta Journal-Constitution's write-up on his death. Despite being the first media outlet in the nation to name him the top suspect and one of the leaders in the 'Trial by Media' fiasco that followed, they still claim they did nothing wrong, even in the man's obituary. Jewell's libel suit against them is still pending, although most of it was thrown out.

I am a score prediction genius, plus some made up stats

2007-08-27T10:10:00.000-04:00

First of all, let's all take a moment and realize how awesome it is that I nailed the final score of the Eagles' game in my Friday prediction. The chances of doing that are like 1 in a 1,000; and that's a statistic I just made up.

Speaking of made up statistics, I created this weird little metric that I use during football season called "negative yells per player". It's real simple to use- just keep track of how many times per game you vocalize displeasure with a player's performance by yelling their name is disgust. You don't even have to count, really; after a few games, you'll notice a pattern of who keeps invoking your ire. Here are the Eagles preseason leaders in NYPP-

Sean Considine
He leads in NYPP by a wide margin; it's not even close. He's only effective when he is unblocked and not seen by offensive players. So unless he can turn invisible and intangible, he shouldn't be the starter at strong safety. Quentin Mikell has to be better for the role than Considine.

The only nice plays he had last night were coming in untouched on blitzes. He can't tackle anyone larger than a Teddy Ruxpin doll (though he magically led the Eagles in tackles last night), and is flat-out missing in pass coverage. Again, his only hope of being effective is developing superpowers before the opener in Green Bay. Let's all hope he does.

Chris Gocong
He has to be better Dhani Jones, right? Right??? Because it doesn't look like he is yet. He looks lost in pass coverage and takes strange angles of pursuit. He looks like someone who has never played linebacker before, which is basically true since he was a DE in college and missed last season with the Eagles. He's got 13 days to learn where to be on the field.

Thomas Tapeh
Surprised to see a fullback on here? Don't be, you easily surprised person. Tapeh is a slightly below average receiver who is a non-factor as a runner. Therefore, his main purpose is to block. He does an okay job in run blocking, but is often out of position when asked to pass block, which may get McNabb maimed even further this season.

Reggie Brown
How much did Dante Stallworth want to stick around? Oh, that much? It would have been worth it, unless Brown really steps up soon.

Conversely, there is also the PYPP, or positive yells per player, stat. These are for when a player does something nice and you yell their name out in delight (in a non-sexual way). The leaders here for the preseason are-

Sheldon Brown
Even I think the stat I made up is a little misleading in this case. Sheldon makes some really nice plays, but is also visibly out of position a little too often. Still, I likes him.

Jeremiah Trotter
Whoops, next...

Donovan McNabb
The man looks ready to play.

Mike Patterson
Hopefully his obvious improvement from last season isn't just a preseason thing.

Mike Radano Joins The Parade

2007-08-25T10:35:00.000-04:00

From Mike Radano, the South Jersey Courier Post's beat guy:

Milton Bradley took a shot at the Park and again, what can be done.

Bradley broke his bat on a home run to left. He threw his bat in disgust and then realized what a "(expletive deleted) joke" CBP is.

True or not - and I'm not picking a fight with swordsman like some other beat guys are rumored to have done - this Park has a bad reputation aroudn (sic) the league.

Mike Radano is the best.

Friday Night Kites

2007-08-24T22:25:00.000-04:00

I don't think any of the previous six games will ever show up as part of "This Week in Phillies History".

They went 1-5 for the week. And it was about as ugly a 1-5 performance as a team could put forth. While the offense was quite bad, scoring only 23 runs, it was the pitching that really took the cake. It takes a real team effort to allow 57 runs in six games. 57 runs!! And Adam Eaton was not even involved in any of the games.

The week was bookended by two of what are hopefully the final few outings of Jaime Moyer's career. Last Saturday he gave up 7 earned runs in 4 innings. He followed that up by giving up "only" 6 earned runs in 4 and 2/3 innings of awfulness tonight. In his first seven starts this year, Moyer had an ERA of 3.00 and it looked like he had gotten the Devil to add on one extra year on the deal they had made in 1998 for his soul. But alas, even the Devil cannot overcome Father Time. Since May 9, Moyer has seen his ERA jump to 5.16, which ranks him 43rd out of the 48 pitchers who have enough innings to qualify (Hey Adam Eaton, is that you still at the bottom of the list?). He has put up monthly ERAs of 6.75 in July and 7.27 in August. Not exactly a good trend.

If Moyer's old age was the only problem the Phillies' pitching staff had, there would probably be quite a few more people optimistic about their playoff chances. Fabio Castro obviously needs to learn what the strike zone is defined as before he tosses another pitch for the Phillies. Tom Gordon, shockingly, is out of gas. The clock seems to have struck midnight for both Alfonseca and Mesa. It is absolutely frightening when I see people looking forward to Eaton's return (FYI: Eaton's line for his "rehab" start for AA Reading - 2 IP, 3 H, 3 ER. Can't wait to see him back with the big club).

So what do the Phillies do now? Wait. Wait until the offseason and put forth a plan for the future of the franchise. It is time for the Phillies to stop with the one year patch ups and really start to build a team. Is Brett Myers a starter or a reliever? Are they comfortable with Michael Bourn and Shane Victorino in the same outfield? Will Ryan Howard's body hold up until he reaches free agency? If not, why bother discussing the idea of buying out his arbitration years? Will this team ever find someone to replace Scott Rolen?

It's late and I'm babbling. I just don't think that the current Phillies team is going to be able to weather the storm until Hamels comes back and Utley is truly healthy. At least it will allow a lot of people to dedicate all of their attention to the Eagles season.

Avalon

2007-08-24T15:36:00.000-04:00

I'm going to Avalon for the weekend. Mark will be here solo. And lucky for him he doesn't need to go on trips to go to the beach since he has a beach 4 blocks from his apartment.

Predictions-

Phils sweep Padres
Eagles lose 27-13; Spikes goes down for the season
Michael Vick gets raped by a dog as ironic punishment
I get sunburn, but not too bad

Me vs. Marcus Hayes Continued

2007-08-23T17:00:00.000-04:00

Allegedly, Marcus Hayes left the following comment on the blog Philadelphia Will Do regarding my blog post here which contains his email to me regarding my love of nerd stats.

Numberheads,

Just letting you blogicians know:
No longer will you, or anyone else, be afforded the privilege (burden?) of corresponding with me. When I reply to an individual it is intended to be a confidential response. Since I can't trust you, I assume I can't trust anyone.
It is not meant to be posted on anyone's blog, and certainly not on a for-profit entity of a direct competitor.
So, no more responses. Can't trust you, so don't bother writing.
But then, if you hold my replies in such low esteem, why bother writing?
Of course, this gives many of you more time for your World of Warcraft RPG endeavors.
Happy gaming.
Hope the eczema clears up.
M

Now, there is zero proof that Marcus Hayes wrote this. I hope he did, for his sake, because it's sort of entertaining and would actually be an improvement for him. I will reply here to certain elements of the above-

"Just letting you blogicians know:
No longer will you, or anyone else, be afforded the privilege (burden?) of corresponding with me."

You call what you wrote to me correspondence? You attacked me for believing in something different from you; something that makes a lot of sense. Are you Catholic by chance, Marcus? 16th century Catholic? I thought so.

"When I reply to an individual it is intended to be a confidential response."

And I would have kept it that way if.. oh wait, no I wouldn't have.

"Of course, this gives many of you more time for your World of Warcraft RPG endeavors."

I play Hearts of Iron II. It's a WWII simulation.

"Hope the eczema clears up."

It's doing very well, thank you.

Again, I have my doubts that Marcus Hayes wrote that comment on Philadelphia Will Do. But I could see him writing something similar to it. What I'd rather him write is something like this-

"You're right, nerds. I am guilty of being yet another sportswriter who practices lazy journalism. Please forgive me. And while I may not totally understand your love of numbers, facts, and reality, I hope you one day will be able to accept my love of pointless posturing, subjectivity, and self-aggrandizing attitude. Cheers."

Game Day

2007-08-23T12:58:00.000-04:00

Unfortunately, I must leave my guardpost and visit the outside world, which means I have to cut this riveting analysis short. Pat Burrell is my hero.

------------------------------------------

I don't think Fabio Castro is going to make it as a major league pitcher. But there is always professional poker.

----------------------

Good news: Castro has a one hitter through three. Bad news: It has taken him 53 pitches to get there, 29 of which have been balls.

-------------------------------

Castro walks the bases loaded, but fortunately he walked them for the pitcher. It only took 6 pitches to get Billingsley to strike out. Through two innings, Castro has struck out three, walked three, and given up no hits. Thrown 42 pitches, 22 of which have been balls.

I ask you, Cole Who?

-------------------------------------------------

I would compare Fabio Castro's control to Lindsay Lohan's. They're both a bit wild. He may walk ten batters today.

----------------------------------------

I don't have the sound on, so maybe there was a better explanation, but Sarge's Key to the Game is "By winning series, you get into the postseason"

1. That isn't a key to the game. Winning the series is a goal.

2. I don't know what that sentence means.

I'm hoping the Dodgers are hung over today.

-------------------------------------------------

Will Russell Branyan put a ball into play?

Will Ryan Howard continue his Russell Branyan impersonation?

The long awaited return of Fabio Castro to Philadelphia.

All this and more on today's Game Day Blog of the Phillies-Dodgers matchup.

Keep Your Chin Up

2007-08-22T15:21:00.000-04:00

Listen to this handsome fella. Even without Jeremiah Trotter, the Eagles might be able to do "it".

Take aback Trotter

2007-08-21T11:07:00.000-04:00

In a move shocking to people who are still shocked by the things the Eagles' front office does, and Jeremiah Trotter, middle linebacker Jeremiah Trotter was released today. Wow, how many times can they screw this guy over?

I feel conflicted about the decision. First off, I must admit that I drink the midnight green Kool-Aid; unlike any other Philly team, I generally am willing to trust the Eagles' personnel decisions. They may lack a Super Bowl win, but they've also won at least one playoff game every year this decade except 2005. That's impressive.

Okay, on to my mind-blowing analysis. Trotter was not very good last season. For one, he can't play pass defense at all. Secondly, and more importantly, the Eagles had severe problems stopping runs up the middle, which was also the fault of their mediocre defensive tackles. But Trotter's increasing immobility has to shoulder some of the blame for giving up so many 5 and 6 yard runs up the gut. And in pursuit, forget it; he's as worthless as the penis on a priest. The only reason it statistically looks like they had a half-decent run D last year is that running outside on them was very hard, even with the deficient Dhani Jones out there giving himself very few chances to strum his air guitar.

But, like I said, it wasn't all his fault last year. It's very difficult to play MLB when your d-tackles are consistently being blocked back into your operating area. There is a symbiotic relationship between the 2 positions unlike any other on the defense. Actually, I would almost call it parasitic- the middle LB feeds off of the success of the DT's in tying up blockers. So while Trotter is no longer the best man for the job, does anyone really think Takeo Spikes or whoever they move to the middle is going to be a superb replacement if Mike Patterson, Broderick Bunkley and company don't get their shit together against the run? Because no one should.

Why not simply keep and demote Trotter? I'm sure he would have hated that, but with an injury to Spikes always looming they now have no experienced backups. Even though the Eagles are notoriously frugal, keeping Trotter and his not-exorbitant 2 million dollar salary around as insurance was probably a better move.

Sabreboy gets a response from Marcus Hayes

2007-08-19T12:39:00.000-04:00

Here is his reply email followed by my rebuttal to his statements. (Pictured here- the Phillie Phanatic obviously preparing to eat a baby. I couldn't find a pic of Mr. Hayes.)
___________________________________________________________________________________
Get a grip, sabreboy.
Burrell is paid to produce runs, not get on base. Period. Any season with fewer than 110 RBI is a flat-out failure. He's not paid $13 million to walk. He misses strikes, he slumps, he tries to hit home runs. He is mediocre, at best, at the job to which he is assigned.
Soriano is overrated. Carlos Lee is an RBI machine. I don't know what your problem is with Ramirez, who is arguably the best offensive 3B in the NL since 2003.
OBP and OPS are geek numbers, especially for run-producers. I'd rather have my 3-4-5 guys drive the best strike they see rather than wait for the perfect pitch and jog down the baseline.
Sabremetrics are the bastion of wannabes who never could quite figure out which hand the mitt went on, a false industry created and fueled by people whose association with the game always will be vicarious, and, frankly, pathetic.
Offensively, scoring runs and driving runs in matter in baseball. Everything else follows.
That's it.
Ask any player.
_____________________________________________________________________________________

We're both busy people so I'll make this quick. I'm not expecting a reply, so I'll say now that this was a fun little exchange.

"Any season with fewer than 110 RBI is a flat-out failure."

The oft-loathed (not by me) Bobby Abreu may end up with 110 RBI this year; do you think he's having a better season than Derek Jeter?

Stan Musial averaged 104 RBI per 162 games played for his career, which is coincidentally the same as Pat Burrell averages. Obviously I don't think Burrell is as good as Musial, but your statement is totally false.

"He's not paid $13 million to walk."

Hey, I wish he could hit 45 home runs a year too. But he can't. So why fault him for not being something he'll never be? What he is is a player who is excellent at not making outs. While that alone is not worth $13 million, it's a great attribute to have.

"He misses strikes, he slumps, he tries to hit home runs"

Are you talking about Ryan Howard? He's the guy who has 147 K's in 104 games. Yet I'd hardly say he's having a bad year.

"Carlos Lee is an RBI machine"

He does get quite a few RBI, but since RBI is a stat dependent on so many other factors, I tend to not care.

"I don't know what your problem is with Ramirez, who is arguably the best offensive 3B in the NL since 2003."

I agree with this, since Miguel Cabrera played in the outfield for a few seasons. My point was that Ramirez is not a much better batter than Burrell.

"I'd rather have my 3-4-5 guys drive the best strike they see rather than wait for the perfect pitch and jog down the baseline."

Mike Schmidt made an okay career out of waiting for the perfect pitch. But since he didn't have many 110+ RBI seasons (just 5 in 18 seasons), you likely think he was overrated.

"Sabremetrics are the bastion of wannabes who never could quite figure out which hand the mitt went on, a false industry created and fueled by people whose association with the game always will be vicarious, and, frankly, pathetic."

Of course you realize many people say the same about sports writing.

Have you considered that sabermetrics aren't designed to ruin the game but to enhance the understanding of it? Sabermetrics and the traditional modes of scouting can live together in analytic harmony. And claiming that sabermetric stats are bunk because of the people who created them is like claiming TV is a worthless invention because Philo Farnsworth was a farmer, not a scientist.

The anti-intellectualism demonstrated regularly by you and most of your writing peers, refusing to even consider why new ways of thinking about baseball are appropriate, contributes to your ever-quickening slide into obsolescence. Enjoy.

"Offensively, scoring runs and driving runs in matter in baseball. Everything else follows."

According to your logic (or complete lack of it) the Phillies lead the NL in runs scored because they lead the league in RBI. Do you see why that is crazy?

And "everything else follows" is completely wrong. Stats like OBP, OPS, VORP, and WARP help explain, better than stats like batting average and RBI, why the players on teams like the Phillies create a lot of runs. RBI and Runs Scored follow.

"Ask any player."

Right, because players are the only authority on their respective sports. That's why so many of them make such great GM's when they leave the game.

Donovan McNabb Did Not Spontaneously Combust

2007-08-18T15:15:00.000-04:00

Much to the surprise of apparently many in the Philadelphia media and public, Donovan McNabb still knows how to play football. Reading the superlatives that people have used to describe McNabb's performance last night, one would tend to believe that McNabb was playing a first game since having a lobotomy or some sort of radical procedure in which doctors performed a dinosaur appendage transplant on him. Not an ACL injury. Newsflash: Knee surgery does not cause one of the best NFL Quarterbacks to forget how to take a five step drop and throw a 15 yard out. I really don't remember people freaking out about Carson Palmer last pre-season, at least not to the degree to which McNabb has endured for the past month. But for whatever reason, both the Philadelphia and the national media have always put this weird pressure on McNabb.

Also, when did it become the hip thing to refer to McNabb as "Five" or "Number 5" as opposed to his real name? For whatever reason, when I hear someone on television call him Five, it is like someone set off a firecracker inside my ear canal. God it bugs me. I guess this is part of being "Now". I'm really getting old.

Why do I bother?

2007-08-18T12:10:00.000-04:00

The following is an email I just wrote to Marcus Hayes of the Daily News immediately after reading this article-

I just read your article from yesterday. After last night's game, Pat Burrell has a .417 on-base percentage. Why did you leave his OBP (which was .411 at the time) out of your article? This will also, in all likelihood, be his third consecutive season having an OBP of .388 or higher and an OPS of .890 or higher, which puts him in some elite company. Why did you not mention this? You're a smart man- you can't honestly believe these numbers mean nothing. And it's not like I'm mentioning his WARP or VORP or RC/27. Just OBP and OPS. These are hardly "super-nerdy" metrics. In fact, according to the "super-nerdy" metrics, which are worthless except for the tiny little fact that they are easily the best tools we have for evaluating player performance, 2007 is his best offensive season since 2002.

The Phillies still have the best offense in the NL, and that's with the missing Chase Utley and the slumping Ryan Howard (why did you not bash him?). And a large part of their awesome run production is Pat Burrell. Sure, he makes too much money for what he brings to the table. Most players in his salary bracket do- Pat's numbers are just as good as and often better than guys like Alfonso Soriano, Carlos Lee, and Aramis Ramirez. Would you bash those guys if they were Phillies? I doubt it, since usually their old-style statistics give them the outward appearance of being better than Burrell. But if you're willing to take time to understand why they matter, new ways of thinking can prove why a man like Pat Burrell is more important to the Phillies' success than anyone credits him for.

Quit Your Bitching

2007-08-17T10:15:00.001-04:00

Dateline Philadelphia........

The cost of parking for Eagles games at Lincoln Financial Field has been increased from $11 to $20 this season, starting with tonight's exhibition game against the Carolina Panthers.

I imagine there were many people that woke up in Delaware County today, bypassed all of the other sections of the paper to get to the Sports, read that little blurb, and immediately started to complain to their spouse/significant other how greedy the Eagles are. Probably even threw in an anti-Semitic comment just for good measure.

And to those people, I say, Shut Up. You should be grateful that you were only paying $11 up to this point. For whatever reason, the Eagles organization has been undercharging for parking for years. And do not be surprised if you see substantial increases in the following years? Why do you ask? Well you're in luck, because you have come to a parking expert.

It is simple supply and demand. The Eagles, according to the Inquirer, have approximately 22,000 parking spaces. If they did not charge anything for parking, I imagine the demand for parking would be well over 22,000 because people would drive down to the stadium to tailgate. I imagine that was still happening last year at $11 to park. Now that the rate is $20, the extra tailgaters will probably be removed, but fans attending the game will still park on site. And the Eagles will continue to increase the rate for parking until they observe that the supply of parking spaces is exceeding the demand at the rate that they are charging.

People need to stop thinking of the Eagles as their football team, and realize that they are a business. And the purpose of a business is to make money. Parking is a revenue stream that the Eagles have not maximized in the past, which was a mistake. If you don't want to pay the rate that they are charging, you have two options: Find another way to get to the game, or don't go. But don't bitch about the price of parking and then pay it. That is just pathetic.

Stephen A At It Again

2007-08-17T07:54:00.000-04:00

Is the Philadelphia Inquirer allowing Stephen A Smith to audition for Baseball Tonight by allowing him to write baseball columns? I have no other idea how to explain his sudden interest in the Phillies. But it does make for some good laughs.

We hear the Phillies look better, feel better, are better, and will remain better than they were last season. But, as usual, we're still waiting to see the evidence: enough wins and a position atop the National League East.

The Phillies have played 120 games. After 120 games last year, their record was 59-61. This year it is 64-56. I only minored in Math, but to me, that seems like a five game improvement. And I didn't even have to use a calculator to determine the difference either.

But it's not too soon to point out that, even while the Phillies entered last night 19-12 since the all-star break and hot enough to be one of the better teams in the majors, all the heat and euphoria they have generated still have them looking ahead at the New York Mets and mired in yet another dogfight over a postseason berth.

You could replace Phillies/Mets with Yankees/Red Sox, Cubs/Brewers, or Indians/Tigers. There are still 40 games left to play this season. I have no idea why Stephen A is so insistent on making dire predictions with 6 weeks left to go. Probably because he doesn't know what he is talking about.

Both teams are winning, but not as much as they should.

How much "should" they be winning? The Mets have the second best record in the NL. The Phillies have the fourth best record. Atlanta has the fifth best record in the league. This seems about right. But they should be winning more. Should.

As of last weekend, nobody but the Yankees was better than the Phillies offensively.

Who in their right mind would compare an American League Team to a National League Team? The Yankees' 9 hole hitter has a .818 OPS. The Phillies' 9 hole hitter has a .498 OPS. Surprisingly, having a designated hitter will allow a team to improve their offense. That statement should have read, No team in the National League is better than the Phillies offensively (unless you ask Joe Morgan).

The Mets have been reduced to relying on the heroics of Moises Alou (.583 batting average and nine RBIs in three games)

Welcome to the world of limited sample size. I am still in a bit of shock that he would actually use Moises Alou's last three games to justify the word heroics. All he had to do was point to Alou's stats for the month of August, which have been very good. Instead he used the last three days.

Stephen A: We sure have had some great weather in the month of August.

Me: It rained for the first ten days.

Stephen A: Yeah but it has been sunny since Tuesday.

Me: I hate you.

Pointless Analysis of Kevin Kolb

2007-08-14T11:26:00.000-04:00

While the dumbest thing in the Philadelphia newspapers so far this week is the story of the eggplant with God spelled out in its seeds (why would God have such crappy handwriting?), the 2 articles today about what rookie QB Kevin Kolb's Eagles debut means are right now a close second; here is John Smallwood's and here is Phil Sheridan's.

Actually, Smallwood's is pretty decent. It's mainly just a peek into what goes through a highly scrutinized rookie's head. But Phil Sheridan insists on making comparisons between Kevin Kolb's debut and Randall Cunningham and Donovan McNabb's first preseason games, which maybe makes a little sense since they're the other two high Eagles QB draft picks since 1972.

The title of Phil Sheridan's article- "Kolb's debut neither daring nor damning"- sums up why the article didn't have to be written at all. It's a frigging preseason game, and the first one at that! It has little or no bearing on the rest of the season or anyone's careers, unless you're Ryan Moats (Godspeed, little doodle). While I'm glad Kolb didn't throw 8 interceptions and pee his pants in the huddle in his pro debut, if he had gone 19-20 with 321 yards and 4 TD's I wouldn't appoint him the new Philadelphia Football Jesus, either.

Also, let's remember something before we all go Kolb Krazy- Donovan McNabb, even with a gimpy knee, is one of the best QB's in football. I even dare say he is the 3rd best QB of this decade, behind Peyton Manning and Tom Brady. So why exactly do we need to be concerned with Kolb right now? Everyone hopes he can play well at the NFL level (I have my doubts; see Klingler, David and Ware, Andre), but one preseason game isn't going to tell us if he's a future All-Pro or a future pro insurance salesman. It'll be super if he can have a Randall or Donovan-like career, but let's give him some time to develop. And stop adding nails to Donovan's coffin, dammit! If the man says he can play, he can play.

Finally, the picture above is from Superbad, which I saw last night at a screening for VIP's and radio listeners (I am neither, actually). I haven't laughed that hard in a theater since either Borat or when the guy in front of me farted really loudly during Zodiac. Go see it; starts Friday.

Stephen A Smith's Expert Analysis

2007-08-12T19:32:00.000-04:00

Stephen A Smith wears many hats, though none of those hats fit him very well. And I'm not blaming the hat maker. His time is stretched very thin by his responsibilities at ESPN, both with television and radio, so maybe we, the readers of the Philadelphia Inquirer, should excuse it when he writes his mandatory column about the Phillies? Hmmmm? Nope, not possible. Just because he is a busy guy does not give him a free pass for the nonsense he writes. And it is a lot of inane nonsense.

Ryan Howard is a stud, and the Phillies are lucky to have him.

I agree.

He is the team's lone bona fide slugger and the man largely responsible for their contender status in the National League playoff picture.

There are so many things wrong with this sentence, I don't even know where to start. Is Ryan Howard the best home run hitter on the team? Yes, undoubtedly so. But Chase Utley has a comparable slugging percentage this season and was on pace to break the million year old record for most doubles in a season until his injury. Does that not qualify Chase Utley as a "bona fide slugger"?

If the definition of “bona fide slugger” is a guy that hits the most home runs, which it appears that is what Stephen A is implying, then Dave Kingman was a bona fide slugger in comparison to the majority of player that have ever played baseball. If your definition of “bona fide slugger” is a guy with a very good slugging percentage, then Dick Allen would have been considered a "bona fide slugger". And I’m sure if you asked most people, they’d consider Dick Allen to be a "bona fide slugger" than Dave Kingman. So who is their right mind can claim that Ryan Howard is the Phillies' lone bona fide slugger?

He takes it one step further by claiming that Howard is the man “largely” responsible for the Phillies’ contender status. What a ridiculous statement. The Phillies have the best offense in the National League. Ryan Howard is a big part of that. But so are Jimmy Rollins, Chase Utley, Aaron Rowand, and Pat Burrell. To see that any one of those guys is largely responsible for the Phillies’ current status is a joke. In fact, people should focus their attention less on why the Phillies are still contender and more on why they aren't running away with the division.

As we've discussed many times, the Phillies offense is awesome. Very awesome. So awesome that it has taken the putrid performance of Adam Eaton, the poor performance of Jaime Moyer, injuries to Freddy Garcia and Jon Lieber, and a mediocre to bad bullpen for the Phillies to remain behind the mediocre Mets. But I don’t imagine Stephen A Smith actually pays that much attention to the Phillies, what with his busy job of yelling on television and radio. Plus he probably had already filled up his quota of Sixers and Eagles columns for the summer, so he had to write something about the Phillies. This is just the first thing he thought of without doing any sort of research.

Almost everywhere you look, you see raised eyebrows when home runs are flying out of ballparks, when pitchers approaching their mid-40s are still managing to win 10-plus games with ERAs under 3.00.

This year, the National League is averaging 1.00 home runs per game. That is the lowest league wide average since 1998.

There is exactly one pitcher in all of baseball that is over the age of 33 with an ERA under 3.50.

Adam Eaton is on pace to win 12 games with an ERA of 6.36. In fact, 43 pitchers won 10 games in the National League last year. I don't know when ten wins became some sort of seasonal milestone.

This is what we call a series of exaggerated statements by an author that has no other way to support his point.

After losing to the Braves, 5-4, on Friday night, the Phillies stood at 17-11 since the all-star break.

The Phillies won on Friday night, 5-4. Which is the complete opposite of what Stephen A wrote. And after Friday night they were 17-10 since the All-Star break. But who cares about facts? The Philadelphia Inquirer certainly does not. How can you take someone’s opinion seriously when they can’t even get a simple fact on whether a team won or lost the night before you send the article in?

The Phillies are still a second-place team. They are still a team with a suspect bullpen, with no dominant closer.

If Brett Myers is not considered a dominant closer, I don’t know who is. Stephen A really likes to throw around subjective adjectives. And unfortunately, these ridiculous statements will incite the mindless drones that read the paper, and they will then in turn use these same statements when arguing why Pat Burrell is worthless and how they are just waiting for the Phillies to "choke".

Bona fide slugger. Dominant closer. Those adjectives sure do seem important when you first read them. But they don't mean anything. Hack Columnist Tip 124: When you can't make your point using facts, just use qualitative statements. You can't defend them, but other people can't argue against them either.

Take away Milwaukee's Prince Fielder and Ryan Braun, and it's a one-man race to NL MVP honors.

First off, Ryan Braun in not even in the conversation for NL MVP. Assuming he plays every game from now til the end of the season, that will add 114 games. While the baseball writers have made many questionable decisions in the past, I would be shocked if they were dumb enough to consider a guy who played less than 120 games for MVP.

Now to the statement about a one-man race to NL MVP. I'm really not sure who that one man is. Chipper Jones? Miguel Cabrera? Hanley Ramirez? Chase Utley? Matt Holliday? Albert Pujols?

Yes, Ryan Howard has a lot of home runs. But there are a lot of guys in the NL who are having very good to great years that also will garner consideration for the MVP award. And it is only August 12, way too early to be handing out MVP awards.

This article is just a microcosm of the problems that exist with The Philadelphia Inquirer. They are supposed to be the “elite” newspaper in the Philadelphia area, yet they continue to print columns that are either subjective opinion with no supporting facts or factual statements that are 100% incorrect. But hey, it gives us something to whine about on the Internet. That is, as soon as we are done playing with our calculators in our parents' basements.

Pat Must Go- The Website

2007-08-11T13:26:00.000-04:00

http://www.patmustgo.com/index.html

The above link is to a website where you can pledge money toward buying out Pat Burrell's contract so the Phillies can dump him. This is the kind of Phillies fans' behavior I've learned to expect and yet will never understand.

It's no secret that Pat Burrell, his recent hot streak aside, is loathed by most Phillies fans for his apparent underachieving. As I've said before, I've spent way too much time and energy defending the guy. But here we go again-

1. Pat Burrell is an above average offensive player- almost every season. His one truly bad year was 2003- 4 YEARS AGO. Get over it, people. His past 3 seasons (including this one) have all been very good, and are his best other than his monster 2002.

2. The man is never going to hit 45 home runs a year, and yes he's going to strike out like he gets a free large Capogiro gelati for each one. But he also gets on base a ton, meaning he's very good at the important act of not making outs, and he actually does have very good power.

3. Even though he appears to be the laziest left fielder in baseball, he is perfectly average at the position (http://www.baseballprospectus.com/dt/burrepa01.php). The man is just slow; but he's trying his damnedest.

4. The claim of Burrell not being able to hit with RISP is BS. Over his career, he bats almost the same with RISP as without- just like almost ALL players. Clutch hitting is, for the most part, a myth- do a Google search and learn.

Yes, he is probably overpaid for the good offense and mediocre defense he provides, as are many, many major league players. He makes around the same as guys like Alfonso Soriano, Aramis Ramirez, and Carlos Lee, and over the past 3 years has had a similar RC/27 to all 3 of them. And sadly if Pat Burrell was any of those 3 men, Phillies fans would be overjoyed to have him on the team. But since here he's the demon hellspawn Pat Burrell, he's destined to suffer the insults of people who refuse to accept the truth- that Pat's okay.

The heated Aaron Rowand debate- coming soon

2007-08-09T19:47:00.000-04:00

It's not super-heated yet, but the fans' debate over whether to re-sign local god Aaron Rowand is going to be a humdinger. On one side will be the majority, which will most likely be those who feel Rowand should be re-signed, (almost) no matter what the cost, because of his hard-nosed (and broken-nosed HA HA) play, grittiness, and other non-quantifiable attributes which better describe construction workers than athletes. On the other side are me and about 27 other Phillies fans who say "let him walk." Of course for a reasonable amount of money (like, $5 million a season, for 4 years), I'd love to have him back- I do think he's a great guy to have on the team and a decent player. But is a guy who is

1. Going to be 30 at the end of this month
2. Having a career year (okay, to be fair- for the second time)
3. Uncomfortable looking in that weird stance of his

worth giving Eric Byrnes-like money to? The answer you're looking for is "no". If the market for Aaron Rowand dictates a $10 million+ per year deal for 3 or more seasons, it's simply a mistake to re-sign him. He's not worth that kind of cash- he's an average fielder with a penchant for facial lacerations and, for his career, a very slightly above average hitter.

I understand that he has the "intangibles" that get most Phillies' fans all frothy with delight, but $10 million a year is a lot of scratch, you know? The Phillies don't have the infinite money of the Red Sox or Yankees; nor do they have a wealth of A+ prospects waiting in the minors. They're going to need to spend some serious chunks of their very finite money on a pitching staff these next few years if they want to win while Chase Utley and Ryan Howard are in their primes.

It'd be best for the Phils to just say thanks for playing here to Mr. Rowand, and move on and let the Michael Bourn era begin. Yes, it is time to move on, to make another awful signing like Adam Eaton, or to trade for another bust like Freddy Garcia. Or Jon Lieber. Man, that's depressing. Ah screw it- on second thought, maybe they should bring Rowand back and hope for the best. The Phillies really suck at evaluating pitching; they need to score all the runs they can.

In defense of... Adam Eaton? Are you nuts?

2007-08-07T22:15:00.000-04:00

Obviously I am not defending Adam Eaton here. There is very little love for him in these parts. Yet someone I was talking to earlier today came to his defense during my brief bashing of him and his 6.09 ERA by saying "Yeah, but he's 9-7. That's not bad."

Yes, this is true; he has 9 wins and 7 losses, good for a .563 winning percentage. Hmmm, not too shabby. Oh wait, that's right- ADAM EATON DOES NOT WIN OR LOSE BALL GAMES ALL BY HIMSELF. Actually, he does lose some all by himself. But overall, baseball is a game played by teams. Yes, you heard it here first- teams. And that team plays offense as well as defense (which here includes pitching). Adam Eaton's team just happens to be spectacular on offense, including when he pitches. In 7 of the games he's been credited with a W, the Phils scored 5 or more runs. That's good run support. It is the offense that is winning most of these games, not the very hitable Adam Eaton. He ain't winning a thing other than the contempt of throngs of local pretzel-eating beercaholics (beercaholics are like alcoholics, but for beer).

Hey, here's something- Johan Santana is just 11-9 this year even though he has a 2.98 ERA and a WHIP of 1.03, both of which are way below league average. What, only a .550 winning percentage, Johan? You need to do more to win ball games, pal. Maybe you can DH yourself and hit home runs! No? Well then, you obviously are just a very average pitcher, and I hate you.

Wins are the stupidest measurement of a pitchers ability or value ever, so please don't use them to demonstrate a point in an argument with me. Thank you.